bullshit breakdown (for prospective monkeys)
Breaking down the bullshit for the prospective monkeys! Any questions, feel free to ask on here on PM me.
Department: IBD at a major BB, London office
Number of girls that I've managed to sleep with as a direct result of working at a bank: 0 (got with 1 - she worked in IBD and wouldn't put out)
Number of nights out I have per month: 0-3
Typical night out cost: £150-£500
Number of days off I typically get a month: 2
Number of hours I typically work per day: 15-18
Pre-tax salary per month: £3500
Sign on bonus: £6000
Number of non-UK people working in my London office: 50%
Number of women in London IBD: 10%
Number of times I've thought about quitting: 2-5
Friends I've managed to keep in touch with since leaving university: <20%
Bonus: (not had one yet, can't comment)
Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt
Happy: Yes, mostly
Would I recommend this career to a university leaver: Yes
Biggest pros of the job: Character building (the biggest pro), occasional feeling of self-importance (prestige), money, exit opportunities, rare opportuntiy to work on big deals and meet CEOs, CFOs, COOs of major companies, the people.
Biggest cons of the job: 90% of the time is menial work, my work is my life - demanding hours, very hard to have outside friends or a girlfriend, lack of sex, inability to have hobbies, degradation of health, the people.
Interview tips: be a more enthusiastic version of yourself, though still yourself.
Banking survival tips: be a more enthusiastic version of yourself, though still yourself.






thanks for this nice write up
thanks for this nice write up better than the other IMO all the bankers/pe/traders should do this!
nice
nice
I sent you a PM! Nice post!
I sent you a PM! Nice post!
"Clothes I wear to work:
"Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt"
Have you seen any extreme opposites (i.e. analysts wearing clothes from Primark)?
__________
Just my 2c.
^I dont wear nearly that
^I dont wear nearly that "level" of clothing. My suits cost $400. They are great.
lorican wrote: "Clothes I
"Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt"
Have you seen any extreme opposites (i.e. analysts wearing clothes from Primark)?
Style is something I've always been really enthusiastic about, not in a vanity kind of way, just in the way that I think fashion is a great way of expressing yourself; who you are, what you want to say.
By no means do you have to wear what I wear. My flatmate (and fellow analyst at my BB) wears a casio watch and £60 shoes from the high street.
You have to look presentable to a client, and the sign on bonus is apparently given to you so that you spend a little money on yourself, but banking is nowhere near as superficial as people make out. Nobody would call you out for wearing this or that. Except braces - braces get a bit of banter! I remember one of my SAs walked around with paul smith multi coloured braces and a coffee in his hand like he owned the city - very funny, and he actually got the job in the end.
Just be who you are, most BBs are very diverse and accepting; moreso at the european BBs perhaps.
anonymousman, are the Rolex
anonymousman, are the Rolex and cufflinks acceptable in London? I only ask because the shoes (assuming they don't have "Prada" written across the top), shirt and suit would be acceptable over here, but if I ever wore a Rolex, and, to an even more serious degree, the cufflinks, I would get torn apart. I'd never wear diamond cufflinks or a Rolex (not knocking you, just not my style), but do you catch crap for that in London?
jimbrowngoU
anonymousman, are the Rolex and cufflinks acceptable in London? I only ask because the shoes (assuming they don't have "Prada" written across the top), shirt and suit would be acceptable over here, but if I ever wore a Rolex, and, to an even more serious degree, the cufflinks, I would get torn apart. I'd never wear diamond cufflinks or a Rolex (not knocking you, just not my style), but do you catch crap for that in London?
You know I've been wearing these cufflinks for 6 months and nobody has noticed them!! (except my mum when I saw her)
The rolex - I got with my sign on bonus so was very keen to show it off - but I personally know more than 10 first year analysts who wear 'luxury watches' of some sort - I'd imagine there are a few more. The submariner is obviously very popular (though not the one I wear).
I've genuinely not had a single negative remark on my watch - even in gest. Even the swiss analyst on my team who likes to rip people hasn't commented (to my face at least!). The most banter I've ever caught was when I had a dodgy haircut - that did not die down overnight! haha.
hahahah i love the breakdown
hahahah i love the breakdown of # of girls you slept with due to IBD. props for honesty
Just to answer another
Just to answer another question: someone has just PMed me asking about the training for IBD.
I think I'm right in saying most BB traning is the same. In the UK, you normally get some preliminary reading material sent to you around about this time of year (absolutely useless in-one-ear-out-of-the-other stuff), then you start with 10 days of FSA training then take FSA exams, then around 5 or 6 weeks of ATP (Analyst Training Programme).
"Clothes I wear to work:
"Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt" ... " just in the way that I think fashion is a great way of expressing yourself; who you are, what you want to say."
Stop lying to yourself. all of the items you mention primarily serve the purpose of letting others know how much you paid for them. You are a tool.
As long as you look decent, nobody really cares. If an analyst wore that stuff in the office I work at, we'd laugh at him.
Additionally, £150-£500 is a foolish amount to spend on a night out. It completes the picture of the douche that you are. If we had any time to do so, we'd just go out and have a few drinks at a pub.
Seems like you are trying to make up for your lack of self-confidence by buying symbols instead of experiencing life by your own terms.
"Clothes I wear to work:
"Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt"
Frank Lucas: What is that you got on?
Huey Lucas: What? This?
Frank Lucas: Yeah, that.
Huey Lucas: This is a very, very, very nice suit.
Frank Lucas: That's a very, very, very nice suit, huh?
Huey Lucas: Yeah.
Frank Lucas: That's a clown suit. That's a costume, with a big sign on it that says "Arrest me". You understand? You're too loud, you're making too much noise. Listen to me, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room
The $4k diamond Cuff-links
The $4k diamond Cuff-links are a BIT too much, perhaps too gaudy and effeminate , but wtf is wrong with wearing a Rolex?? The guy obviously likes fine crafted timepieces... If anyone makes a comment about any of my watches and they are not gaudy jewelry pieces, Id tell em to go F*ck themselves.
Btw what model Rolex? Im guessing SS Daytona, or GMT II
h.e.pennypacker
"Clothes I wear to work: £5500 rolex, £2200 diamond cufflinks, £490 prada shoes, £1600 prada suit, £140 thomas pink shirt"
Frank Lucas: What is that you got on?
Huey Lucas: What? This?
Frank Lucas: Yeah, that.
Huey Lucas: This is a very, very, very nice suit.
Frank Lucas: That's a very, very, very nice suit, huh?
Huey Lucas: Yeah.
Frank Lucas: That's a clown suit. That's a costume, with a big sign on it that says "Arrest me". You understand? You're too loud, you're making too much noise. Listen to me, the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room
Disappointing movie, but great line.
Although his wardrobe is expensive, I can't picture it being loud unless he has "PRADA" blaring from his shoes and the breast pocket of his suit.
cufflinks are lol. Maybe
cufflinks are lol. Maybe it's different in London, but I don't know a single 1st year that would ever dream of rocking that to work
bump
Investing in quality time
Just realised: Troll Sort
BillyVanBarzini wrote: Just
i also believed him
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We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria
Asia_i_Banker wrote: "Clothes
http://www.wallstreetoasis.co
BillyVanBarzini
Hmmm, The star means he is
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youngmonkey
Not a fan of cufflinks
I think rolex watches are
pinkbanker wrote: I think
I do agree with youngblood. I
very elaborate troll, but
get an invicta if you want
I don't think this is a
rebelcross wrote: I don't
In the UK as we speak. I
pinkbanker wrote: I think
To be honest, I don't think
There's nothing wrong with
Guest1655 wrote: I've owned
youngblood wrote: pinkbanker
M-002 wrote: Guest1655
boshyj wrote: rebelcross
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Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.——William Shakespeare
This video is a must watch
NeverSurrender wrote: This
That guy is pathetic. I am
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The soccer ball was the last
this guy was a tool...
looking for that pick-me-up to power through an all-nighter?
Notice how this guy is
With that much money, why
alright but seriously...its
Allen-edmonds, classic.