Blitzed, Smashed and Drunk: Drinking for the Modern Monkey

Frieds's picture
Rank: Senior Neanderthal | 5,888

Welcome to Blitzed, Smashed and Drunk, WSO's new blog about all things alcohol related. It's a celebration of alcohol, a veritable treasure trove of recipes to be tried out, a collection of useless facts, tips and suggestions to survive the next day, an education on more than just what it is your drinking and an excuse to drink. This entire concept came about at last year's WSO Conference and, after a whole lot of planning and lack of education, came up again at this year's Pre-WSO Conference Happy Hour.

Last year, Patrick and I discussed this as we had dinner at Strip House after the WSO Conference. He was impressed about how eloquently I spoke about Rye versus Bourbon versus Scotch and that I pointed him in the direction of a rather nice Rye to try (Michters if you guys are wondering) before we sat down to eat. Needless to say, we discussed the idea at length but nothing ever took off. After toying around with some ideas, nothing really stuck, so the project was pushed to the wayside.

This past weekend, at the Pre-Conference happy hour, I was drinking my Boulevardier, drawing attention to myself because I'm drinking a fantastic pink hued drink, and Patrick and I got into the same discussion again about needing to fill the void on an often unfilled topic on WSO, how to drink and be knowledgeable about what your drinking, and offer some insight into the vast world of everything out there. We joked about the few new posts on booze showing up, as they randomly do every so often as well. After giving it a lot of thought, the final push was something Gene Rubio during his speech at the WSO Conference, about having met someone, then met them again and the finally a third time because fate has a funny way of making things happen. It makes you realize...

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. ~Rick Blaine (Played by Humphrey Bogart), Casablanca

...the odds of Ilsa walking to Rick's Cafe American are so small there is definitely a reason for it to have happened. And Blitzed, Smashed and Drunk's reason to hang around is to fill that void of alcohol related information on WSO.

So welcome to a brand new corner on WSO, one where instead of deals and buyouts, we talk gin and juice. Instead of trades and settlements, we talk PBRs and Pliny the Elder. Instead of the back office, we're talking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin. Instead of trusting others to pick for us, we read the wine list ourselves. A bottle of White. A bottle of Red. Perhaps we talk about Rose instead. Consider this a new guide to drinking for the modern monkey. Welcome to WSO's new take on being BSD... being Blitzed, Smashed, And Drunk.

Mod Note: Best of WSO, this was originally posted July 2014

Comments (39)

Jun 30, 2014

love it. I know what I like but I have no idea why. for example, I love bordeaux but no idea how it's made or why I like it. I love IPAs and Pale Ales, but have no idea why. would also be curious to see what your thoughts are on drinking liquor straight vs. as part of a cocktail (what liquors you mix, any you don't, why, etc.). I have a pretty good hangover remedy, but I wonder what yours is. thanks for doing this!

Jun 30, 2014
thebrofessor:

I love IPAs and Pale Ales, but have no idea why.

Same. I'm all about Pale Ales, Amber Ales, IPAs.. would love to be able to articulate why that is so but for now i'll just stick to "because they taste good."

Jun 30, 2014
thebrofessor:

love it. I know what I like but I have no idea why. for example, I love bordeaux but no idea how it's made or why I like it. I love IPAs and Pale Ales, but have no idea why. would also be curious to see what your thoughts are on drinking liquor straight vs. as part of a cocktail (what liquors you mix, any you don't, why, etc.). I have a pretty good hangover remedy, but I wonder what yours is. thanks for doing this!

I tend to like IPA's because of their hoppiness. It sounds cliched and some people will rag on it, but I like some bitterness to my beers. They're probably also the most produced craft beer type so there's the widest variety of them. And the hoppiness alllows for a higher alcohol content so you can taste the alcohol in some of them. That may be a detraction to some but I like a little kick in my drinks. I've also recently discovered sour beers. They're typically from Belgium, they're expensive as hell and hard to find but they're really interesting and good.

Bordeaux wines are a blend of a few different varietals (cab sauvignon, cab franc, merlot, petit franc and I think another one or two) with typically the cabernet sauvignon as the largest percentage. So if you also like big California cabs, they add in a few other grapes to round it out. Meritage blends are California's version of bordeaux blends so you should try some of those out also. The biggest problem with bordeaux wines is that they tend to be pretty pricey for the better ones and the less expensive ones aren't usually anywhere near as good as the big boys and still not cheap compared to wines from other areas of the same or better quality.

Until recently I was always a straight liquor guy, up or on the rocks or a dry gin martini (which is really just a good attempt at getting an extra large glass of cold straight liquor) but with the proliferation of interesting cocktail bars where they use good mixers, bitters, etc and take care in making it, I've started to order them if it seems like a quality joint. And a gin and tonic (I'm a Sapphire fan) can't be beat on a warm, and if you can find them there are some really good tonic waters available, like Q Tonic and Fever-Tree, that will make it a completely different drink than if you use mass produced tonic like Schweppes.

Jun 30, 2014

whenever you come down South for beach home shopping, I have a few cocktail bars for you to attend.

Jun 30, 2014

That would be awesome. Thanks for those recs. I was going to write back but got busy over the weekend.

And what's the hangover cure? If anyone thinks hangovers are bad when you're in your twenties, wait until you hit 40.

Best Response
Jun 30, 2014

1. stay awake for an extra 30-40 minutes the night of said bender.

2. during this time, eat & drink something (water, gatorade, whatever).

3. do not get a full nights sleep, wake up about as early as you otherwise would (I'm normally up by 530 weekdays, after a bender I'll try to be up by 8). this is for 2 reasons:
3.1. you might still be drunk and thus not hungover
3.2. if you're a coffee drinker, you'll skip a coffee headache (which when combined with a hangover, is absolutely awful)

4. when you rise, chug a bottle of coconut water & get your morning coffee with a banana or something to keep hunger pains away.

5. exercise. I personally like sweaty stuff without a lot of changing positions, so no burpees or jumping jacks. stationary bike, rowing machine, light weightlifting, swimming without the flip turn, stuff like that. work up a good sweat for 20-30 minutes.

6. chug water & gatorade.

7. sauna (20 minutes, then ice cold shower without soap, 10 more minutes in sauna, then ice cold shower).

8. eat big breakfast. I mean really power through it. but don't get something out of the ordinary, remember you want to be easy on your stomach.

9. drink 1-3 bloody marys: tito's, old bay, and zing zang. nothing fancy, but it definitely takes the edge off while your body is still re-hydrating.

10. take a nap before golf starts at 3:30pm.

repeat.

PS: if you live in Atlanta, you don't need any of this because they have the hydration station (http://www.hydrationstationatl.com/)

    • 6
Jun 30, 2014

No problem. I'll answer all your questions in due time. I don't want to run out to stuff to write about immediately off the bat.

Jul 1, 2014
thebrofessor:

love it. I know what I like but I have no idea why. for example, I love bordeaux but no idea how it's made or why I like it. I love IPAs and Pale Ales, but have no idea why. would also be curious to see what your thoughts are on drinking liquor straight vs. as part of a cocktail (what liquors you mix, any you don't, why, etc.). I have a pretty good hangover remedy, but I wonder what yours is. thanks for doing this!

I like pale ales and IPAs too, because they are dry, hoppy, session beers (generally) with good flavor, rather than some very big intense beers where all I can handle is one 8 or 12oz pour like a bourbon barrel aged imperial stout or some strong dark ales.

Here are some characteristics of IPAs and Pale Ales, somewhere in here you may find what you like about them.

IPAs and Pale Ales are hoppy, bitter and dry. Think of it this way, Blonde, Pale Ale, IPA, IIPA, are all brothers with each getting hoppier, more bitter, and more alcohol as you move up the family. Bitterness balances alc and residual sweetness, that's why an IPA with more alc can taste less bitter than one with less alc. IBUs are the measure of bitterness, you'll see it around on menus/packaging. If someone says American Pale Ale or IPA vs English Pale ale or IPA, "American" generally means drier, hoppier, more bitter, and more alc. "English" usually means maltier, sometimes less alc, less hops, less bitter, and less carbonation. American styles use citrusy/tropical/fruity hops, English use spicier hops. If someones says "west coast" ipa or pale ale, it means super dry, super bitter, super hoppy. I love west coast ipas...I'm a hop head, I go through phases though. Most the American hops are grown in nor cal, oregon, and washington. These hops are very bitter and very flavorful (citrus, fruity, tropical, earthy, piney, dank, etc..). They are cost effective and much of the world now uses these hops in some form because of the $$$ saving. Since we grow so much of these high flavor high bitterness (alpha acid) hops, we use a lot in our beers, thus why american style means hoppier and more bitter and thus why west coast means that to the extreme.

Jul 1, 2014

Makes sense now. Drinking a west coast IPA right now haha

Jun 30, 2014

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Jun 30, 2014

Don't tell Putin that:

    • 1
Jun 30, 2014

What about Tequila Blanco or Light Sugar Cane Rum? Or are those too pussy for you Flake?

Jun 30, 2014
Flake:

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Grey Goose ftw, Mr. Swanson. Low cal.

    • 1
Jun 30, 2014

Glad somebody got it.

Jun 30, 2014

If you are looking for some great wines, we live right next to Chateau Redortier, and their wines are spectacular. My absolute, hands down favorite white wine is Chateau de Vaudieu Clos du Belvedere. Can't be beat.

As far as hard booze goes, Glenrothes or Glenfiddich 12yr are pretty tasty. If you really want to stretch than I would check out Bruichladdich. Be sure to check out Japanese single malts, they are a sleeper and you would be surprised.

Cocktails, gin & tonic. Refreshing and simple.

I only look like an alcoholic when I take out the recycling :)

Jun 30, 2014
ArcherVice:

I only look like an alcoholic when I take out the recycling :)

This.

All of the other families on my street have a few cans, some pizza boxes, and still folded newspapers in their colored bin. Yet here I am, dragging 4 metric tons of alcohol dispensing glass and aluminum down the driveway.

    • 2
Jun 30, 2014

lol at the pic at the top and the one of Putin too

Jun 30, 2014

cheap rum and even cheaper vodka for the college people among us.

Look forward to see what comes of this.

Jun 30, 2014

This is a great idea. Especially for people who have just started out drinking. :)

Jun 30, 2014

There is also a hangover/IV service in vegas. There is a bus that rolls around (parks when administering, I think) Vegas offering IV hangover cures. Anywhere from $99 to $239 gets you various things added to your IV bag that you receive on the bus. For $200 or $300 the staff will come to your room to hook you up to an IV if you can't handle getting out of bed.

Might be worth it if you're in Vegas for 72 hours and can't afford 12-24 hours of wasted time. http://www.hangoverheaven.com/

Jun 30, 2014

Pedialite!! This is a college runner trick. Cheaper than a saline drip. Just keep it in the fridge for the morning.

Jun 30, 2014
WorkHorse:

Pedialite!! This is a college runner trick. Cheaper than a saline drip. Just keep it in the fridge for the morning.

Even better - get the powder packets. I never see them in stores, but get them on Amazon. You can just throw them in ice water so no need to plan ahead. More importantly, you can carry them on flights, so I always keep one or two in my dopp bag, or more if it'll be a big weekend.

Frieds - I always enjoy a good Boulevardier, as well as its more famous cousin. In the bourbon/scotch/rye discussion, while I love scotch and bourbon neat, more times than not I'd rather have rye in my cocktail.

Jun 30, 2014

- drink plenty of water before bed
- water with electrolyte additive when you wake up
- swim at the beach
- smoothie
- nice fat burger for lunch
My hangovers are pretty mild though, only get them when drinking spirits

Jun 30, 2014

These IV services really make me laugh. A couple of the guys I worked with in my first job out of college used to all go to Cabo once a year without the wife and kids (I forget if they went to college or all grew up together, and they were all "old"-about my age now). One of the friends was a doctor and they'd sit on the beach every morning with an IV stick and they all swore that after an hour they were like new men. Now it's commercialized. I hope the doctor out of the group is the one who brought it to Vegas. Knowing him I actually wouldn't doubt it.

Jul 1, 2014

Whiskey is what men drink. Drink it neat enough times and you can handle anything - it's like training for a footrace, you are training to outdrink anyone.

"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face."

    • 1
Jul 1, 2014

Love my craft beer and always take an opportunity to visit a local one when I land in a new city. Life is good!

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

Jul 1, 2014

Oh and @Frieds you forgot to mention all the times I busted your chops about getting this series off the ground...

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com

Jul 1, 2014

I'll just leave this here @"Frieds" :

Who else wants to cockpunch this little trust fund shitstain?

Jul 2, 2014

Whiskey and craft dark stouts. Guinness is amazing. Try the Tempstout from Brew Bistro when in Nairobi.

Jul 2, 2014

I do like a decent grappa!

Mar 15, 2015

Drinking has always been a serious issues and it is not at all a good thing. Drinking is killing people.

    • 1
Jun 28, 2016
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Jun 28, 2016

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