Hey guys. My old squadron lost a bird on Wednesday, killing the 25-year old crew chief and seriously injuring five other Marines. Do me a favor and keep a good thought for these guys and their families. They're in a really dangerous line of work. On to the bananas:
1) Paulson's Lehman Bet Poised To Wipe Out Sino-Forest Loss (FIN Alternatives) - Don't call it a comeback! Everyone who counted Paulson out after the Sino Forest disaster was wrong. His big bet on bad Lehman debt has paid off in spades, wiping out the Sino Forest loss and then some. With his average cost at 7 cents on the dollar, the bonds he owns are paying off just over 21 cents on the dollar. Nice.
2) Citigroup Collides With Death Pursuing Emerging Market Debts in Indonesia (Bloomberg) - This is just bizarre. Evidently, collection agents working for Citigroup in Indonesia beat a guy to death when he came in to discuss the $5,500 balance on his Citibank Platinum credit card. Now his widow is suing Citigroup for $348 million.
3) SEC Charges J. P. Morgan Securities with Fraudulent Bidding Practices Involving Investment of Municipal Bond Proceeds (US Securities & Exchange Commission) - JPM Securities was charged with rigging 93 municipal bond offerings in 31 different states and immediately settled with the SEC for $228 million ($51 million of which will be returned to the defrauded municipalities). In a related case, the SEC barred JPMS VP James Hertz from the securities business for life. Ouch.
4) Murdoch Folds News Of The World Over Hacking (Sky News) - This is huge news in the media world. This Sunday's edition of News of the World will be the paper's last. It was shut down by James Murdoch (presumably at daddy's behest) in the wake of the massive phone hacking scandal playing out in the UK right now. The paper was founded in 1843.
5) On Second Thought, Don't Get Married (Huffington Post) - I have to admit I was kinda shocked by this one. Not by the message - we all know marriage is a pretty bad idea statistically - but by the author: eHarmony founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren. If the guy whose whole purpose in life is to hook people up tells you that you shouldn't get married, you might want to listen to him. Or maybe he's just considering a joint venture with AshleyMadison.com. Who knows.
6) The Disappearer (Men's Journal) - When I was down on Spain's Costa Dorada a couple weeks ago, it struck me how easy it would be to disappear there. There are a few places in the world where you can just walk away from your life and vanish. This is an article about a guy who helps people do it. Interesting stuff for anyone who has ever considered it. (And trust me: when the IRS is up your ass running around in golf spikes, you'll consider it.)
7) Broker ordered to repay Morgan Stanley $1 million (Reuters) - This is just brutal, and should serve as a reminder to anyone being seduced by a hefty signing bonus at a rival firm. Former Morgan Stanley broker Jamie Dick was ordered by a FINRA arbitration panel to re-pay $1 million to the bank (his signing bonus), and the meter is running at an additional $109.32 per day until he pays. Never forget that there's a big string attached to that carrot they're dangling, fellas.
8) How to Secure Your Smartphone (LifeHacker) - In light of the recent phone hacking scandal, rampant smartphone theft, and the fact that cops can now demand warrantless phone searches in some places, you need to secure your phone. Here's an excellent guide on how to do just that. Don't wait; do it now. If you lose your phone this weekend, you'll wish you had.
9) Former Bear Stearns Broker Expands Yoga Business (American Banking News) - Find your zen, bitches. When the rug gets pulled out from under you, go do something you enjoy. You might even be good at it. Namaste.
10) The College Scam (Fox News) - I know I harp on this subject a lot, but I think it's important. Here's John Stossel's take on it, and he predictably determines that college is an out-and-out scam for most people. Fun facts: 80,000 bartenders in the US have a degree, as do 17% of bellhops and 15% of cab drivers. Money well spent.
And now for the video of the week. I wasn't too sure about this movie until I saw this red band trailer. Now I'm sold. We've all had horrible bosses, so every one of us will get this. And something about Jason Sudeikis just cracks me up. He reminds me of a bunch of my smart ass buddies. Check it out:
Have a great weekend, monkeys!
Former Bear Stearns Broker Expands Yoga Business
Meanwhile James Cayne plays Bridge with Richard "Gorilla" Fuld in the Plaza...
Citigroup Indonesia is just a font of great stories. There was also this girl in PWM who defrauded quite a few clients with her "assets".
http://my.news.yahoo.com/indonesian-police-nab-citibank-siren-stole-2m-…
Sorry to hear about that. My older brother just entered F-18 flight training so hearing about military plane crashes has a new found meaning to me.
Eddie, beside the choice of song, Charlie Day is the real reason - not Jason Sudekis - why this film looks so damned funny. The "It's Always Sunny" alum definitely looks to be the funniest of the three male leads. Plus, Jennifer Aniston as a sex crazed boss is just a major bonus.
However, to the broker being ordered to pay back the million...the only time I had ever seen that happen was when a broker would jump to another shop prior for a major bonus and not fill out their contract.
RE: 1) - Paulson only lost $107MM on Sino Forest - No where close to the rumours of 700MM that everyone was talking about initially. He holds $7BB of Lehman debt that he paid under 700MM for. Now it looks like he'll be paid out over 1.4BB for the bonds he holds.
RE: 2) - holy fucking shit am I glad I don't live in Indonesia.
Damn Eddie, can I follow you on twitter, you find such massive nuggets.
Absolutely. You can follow me at @EddieBraverman. A whole lot more of this stuff makes it to my Twitter feed than ever ends up on WSO.
Eddie, to be honest, these bonus bananas take precedence over wallstreetjournal and bloomberg when you write them
Cheers
Wow. I don't even know what to say to that. Thanks, man.
Sorry to hear about the huey accident, my condolences to you and your unit's loss.
Really, REALLY cool stuff in this post!
3 makes the mob look tame - wow, Citi, way to get your thuggie on
10 Really steams me: The wealthy aside, young people should be going into college with the understanding that it opens up some doors, and can cost a lot of money. THESE are the key points. The punchline that Stossel and the people in his camp are getting at is that less people should go to college - and I completely disagree. The costs and value of a degree and the quality of education have been covered ad nausea, but the primary solution to the dumbing down of America is more education.....not less. I was shockedwhen I was visiting my alma mater's MQF open house and saw that 95% of the incoming class were imported students because Americans [black, white, whatever] simply weren't qualified enough to apply. Bottom line as I see it, is that an ignorant public is easier for these guys to control.
The main fault in their reasoning is that they are painting a picture of economic growth based on extreme outliers: lottery ticket mentality. Their myopic view can not be applied to systemic educational efforts. In a brutally competetive global economy, the best advantage is being better educated. Can I read 16th century French lit on my own time? yes. Can I apply to corporate America, military OCS programs, or med/law/business schools without a degree? 99% of the time NO.....basing their worldview on that 1% outlier is a recipe for total disaster.
I bartended during college and continue to do so, and it actually DID give me an advantage. I immersed myself in the industry even when I took time off from college, and getting the degree let me apply for jobs that wouldn't even talk to me had I NOT had the sheepskin. I know this because I went through it. Getting blown off by employers and KNOWING my chances of advancement even if I got in were slim to none was the reason I finished my degree.
As for dudes who bartend for a living after getting a college degree: I would agree....GET A JOB.
Just my $0.02
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