It is the fall and interviews are here for some and coming for others. Though the same questions are asked and the same obstacles faced over again, it seems some never learn. It is never any one single thing that gets you the job you want, unless we are talking about the eternal present 800 pound gorilla.

Preparation. Knowing what needs to be done and actually doing it in a timely fashion. It is easy to get hung up on statistics and eye catching talents, reality is far simpler than that. Just follow the steps and you will get there. In fact, as the following article suggests, simply not making certain mistakes can get you the gig.

Here's my take on the points raised, feel free to add some of your own. Hopefully, the guys and girls out searching in this barren job market can get some use from it.

The 10 Worst Mistakes...

1) Should Have Started Looking Earlier


Glad this is the leadoff point. If you don't have recruiters strolling down your school's hallways, you will have to network. It is harder today than ever before. Better get cracking. Yesterday...for two years from now.


2) Should Have Networked


Yep. Can't repeat it enough. Calling strangers you couldn't give half a fuck about and acting like you really care about their career path is worth its weight in groupie gold. For everyone wondering "why not me?" there's someone asking "what does your day look like?".


3) Should Have Added Internship to Workload


I understand that you guys are force fed this G.P.A. shit all of your lives, but the ugly truth... it doesn't matter. You don't know crap about shit coming out of college, that is why they are forced to look at grades. Most any experienced person in the industry will tell you that three or four internships spread out over a college career means a lot more than an extra tenth of a grade point. Remember that.


4) Should Have Pursued Career Relevant Extra Curriculars


People will look at you like a complete fucking moron when you say "I have a passion for markets" while seeing that you chaired your community college's OWS campaign. Pick a goal. Work towards it. Be patient and supplement it with boring and perhaps useless shit that says "I want this". It will pay off.


5) Should Have Applied to More Jobs


Today's automated everything process makes job applications more tedious the ever. Give yourself a quota of applications per day. Even if it is just one or two, put the time into personalizing and customizing every answer that gives you the option. Research the firms, talk about what they have done, please, please, please do not copy and paste,that's called the Chiang Vayner Expressway.


6) Should Have Focused More on Becoming Professional

Where's the troll with Bieber bangs and the Louie V. satchel? That is not professional. That is a caricature. This is where the internship trumps everything. Follow and emulate. 99.9% of Wall Street is about being a good sheep that follows the herd, save that rock star shit for when you are banging chicks who should be your granddaughter.


7) Should Have Done More to Figure Out Goals


Again, try on a pair. Walk around a while. See how they fit. Personally, I love expensive suits and shoes and watches. Conversely, I am allergic to confined spaces, sitting still and playing well with others. Guess what? I will probably do better on a luxury car lot than I will at an investment bank. Don't let your wishes cloud your view of who you really are.


8) Should Have Gone to the Career Center


Yes, you should. Like... today. Don't let money worship or some fool talking shit on a website mold your misery. At least a quarter of you guys reading this post would be happy working a shit job for less loot. Remember, if you've gotten down to #8 there's a good chance you don't want it bad enough. This isn't a negative reflection on you. It means that somewhere deep down you know that you secretly want to flip burgers and home make your mayonnaise. Nothing wrong with that but if it is the case, get to mashing. The career center people can help you with that.


9) Should Have Kept Better Track of Achievements


I have stung myself with this one many times. Be a doting mother over yourself. Frame your junior high school progress reports. Every A paper goes in the vault. You never know what will tip the scales in your favor with an employer and you want the arsenal fully stocked.


10) Should Have Developed Relevant Skills


Use the fucking search function. Really, it works. If I read another question about why your PhD level Differential Equations and Brownian Motion classes are not helping in IB SA recruiting, I am going to scream. More importantly, so is your interviewer. Learn about what the required skill sets are. We all personally admire the cabbie who taught himself how to read Mandarin and recite Shakespeare, but that does not mean shit if he drives like Miss Daisy. You need to perform the tasks of the position, not something else. Versatility is great, but the job market is one of specialization.

Follow these rules and you'll have mad bread to break up, if not unemployed... on the wake up.