dating a coworker...
taboo or go for it?
taboo or go for it?
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Career Resources
MD: Yes. If you can deal with the cottage cheese, why not? she probably has a nice Type-A personality so you know she will be great in bed (that being one of her only outlets to "loose control")... but be warned, you might come into work with bite marks all over your neck. then again, that might just help you win a big sexual harrassment lawsuit.
VP: probably not. Not senior enough to help "bring you along" and still has huge downside risk
Associate: Never. As soon as you stop returing her late night booty calls she claims to your MD and VP that you aren't a "team player."
Fellow Analyst: Always. The great part is that in all likelihood, both of you understand that you don't really find the otehr person attractive. When you're both in the office for 100+ hrs a week, anything will do
You are so right. After putting in my share of 100 hour work weeks, even the cleaning lady starts to look hot.
I say go for it. What's a little awkwardness when you break up... you only spend 90 hours a week together. And if you were an associate wouldn't you purposefully make 2 lovebirds work together after breakingup? I would.
This is a decent breakdown, however, in my opinion, at the "Fellow Analyst" level it just isn't there /doesn't happen. Two reasons out of many:
you're going to want to tell everyone you know that you're hooking up with the cute girl 4 cubes away but you. you can tell everyone you want - JUST NOT ANYBODY AT THE COMPANY!! trust me, working as hard as we all do, a little slice of gossip might be the most exciting thing i've heard all week that's not work related. and word DOES get around to your seniors/ etc. ESPECIALLY if the girl is cute and they're also working long hours, they're going to be resentful that you (the newest little bitch) is falling asleep to a good lay after a hard day's work that they should have. they fork out hundreds to hit the chic bars to buy girls drinks and hit the strip clubs to no avail and you steal the new batch of cookies from THEIR kitchen. trust me, if word gets out and bonus time is right around the corner, your bosses aren't gonna feel that extra sorry for your pain/ "i.e. hard work" and you might see a 5-10k less bonus than you would have. happened to a coworker of mine last year.
Do you date analyst from your class? (Originally Posted: 03/19/2010)
I just want a general idea on whether you should or should not date analyst from your class. I mean 6 weeks of training is very likely to spur something.
Out of curiousity, how common is it for analysts (especially 1st/2nd years) to be in a relationship, or have a "friend with benefits"? From the way everyone talks, it seems like a very low percentage of analysts would have time for any kind of relationship..
There are several people I know who have had a relationship and managed to sustain it over their ibanking careers.
I can't see how it is a good idea....
Its' a pretty bad idea.....think about it... And you will definitely realise that the risks involved sure outway any benefits that you might derive from the affair.
Sometimes, sex is just sex.
If you're looking for a relationship, I'd say it's a bad idea. Too many feelings, too many risks.
If BOTH of you are just looking to get laid, go for it.
date = drama
fun = fun
someone is bound to find out and they might be jealous and start crap. also it's going to be kinda awkward when other people become the third wheel in the office, I really hate being third wheel between some lovey dovey couple, even among friends. also if the relationship explodes, you're going to have a lot of trouble on ye hands and then you will need shiatsu 5 times a day instead of 2 times.
Dating = Drama Sex = Expectations = Drama
hahahahah nice.
Well Put, I mean this is very likely to happen though. Share common interest and goals.
Focus on the training. Date outside the circle.
don't know why you would want to... frankly, i would never date (or sleep with) a guy in my own office
what if they've been giving you the "eye". being around each other for hours on end helps to build that tension...
It's not very likely to happen. I think the majority, if not all, the female analysts will have the same mentality as kalice.
I would advise against it. Although, interestingly enough, there are a lot of guys I know on the buyside who met their wives through i-banking training programs.
That's because the majority, if not all, male analysts are major AFCs.
I remember back in the day--> sarging with my buddies was almost expected. It was like an office game of cat and mouse.
Honestly though, I'de rather hit up some HR girls or BAs they're much nicer than analysts.
Does anyone have any stories they can share to enlighten me? Honestly, I'm pretty naive, because I've had drama-free, serious relationships in the past. I'm not sure why dating another analyst in the same company is a bad thing. So you're saying to date outside of the company?
^ your intuition sucks.
If you are really interested in this girl and you want to be involved in a serious relationship hang out with her for some time b4 getting involved and see where it takes you. I wouldnt rush into anything quickly if I were you. You don't want to feel uncomfortable at work.
It happened a lot on my training program. If you go for someone in a different division it won't be an issue as you'll barely see anyone outside of your group once you start on the desk. So if you're in IBD go for an S&T person. And don't tell anyone you work with that you're seeing someone else at the bank - they don't need to know that.
If you work for a large IB it's unreasonable to write off everyone who works at that company, there might be someone good for you there and as long as they're not in your business area it will have zero impact on you career. Don't compromise your work but at the end of the day you're still human.
I though banker chicks were busted??
never in the same group
simple: no
SA might be a different story though. Haha any opinions on that?
It's 10 wks dude time for a nice fling or two
forget about dating
when I said 6 weeks, I meant full time trainings. I mean analysts are basically finding a potential stock (future VP or MD)that could have monster growth opportunity.
I've never seen a really good looking banker chick
Ya me too I'd much rather just date someone from accounting or HR
Guy i know is now dating a girl from training - but he just recently quit to go to PE - they were hush hush about it before
idk, maybe its just me, but i've seen a few 8's and 9's from my banking analyst class back in the day.
when i was on my 6 week training with the bank there were so many hook ups going on it was crazy... so it's not as umcommon as you may think. 6 weeks is a long time, and after about a week of being with the same people in the same room - people get bored and start to look for ways to entertain themselves. even those people who had a bf/gf were jumping on the bandwagon... it was so weird. there was a little drama but we're all adults and handled it with professionalism.
This is my point exactly. Very common to spark something.
lol haha were these "hook-ups" at a bank that kept all the analyst in corporate housing/hotel for the 6 weeks? that makes it 10x more tempting!
We were all in the same hotel for 6 weeks straight and had guys/girls staying right next door/ on the same floor. Our training was also held in the hotel - so it was like you take an elevator down to class and run into people all hours of the day and night. And when the weekends came - OMG watch out. you would randomly run into people hooking up in an elevator or on the street... Definitely a once in a lifetime experience and wouldn't take it back for anything!
Pump and dump the doable female analysts before the FT analysts and associates beat you to it.
i say go for it, as long as you're pretty sure she won't go psycho on you when she hears about you with another girl. there needs to be some communication and an understanding UP FRONT. and it will get around the office, so don't even bother trying to cover it up...
Sweaty Office Romance (Originally Posted: 08/06/2016)
I'm looking for advice from other fellow corporate degenerates like myself (preferably more experienced ones). I've been working as an entry-level analyst at a mid-cap hard-money lender in LA for two months now. I like the job, and I'm not looking to move up the ladder much while I'm still in law school, so I'm just taking it easy for now. That said, I need some excitement in my life. The office hottie seems to have a thing for me. Not gonna lie, I have a thing for her too, though I haven't shown it. Considering I've been on a dry spell for months now, it's a fucking miracle I haven't given in to the temptation yet. But at this point, contrary to all the advice I've gotten, I really wanna shit where I eat (that sounded better in my head).
This post is strictly prompting advice from those experienced in office flings. Is it a good idea? Is it a bad idea? If the former, how should I go about it? If the latter, what is the proper way to make a bad decision? Feel free to tear me a new one. I have thick skin.
Thanks in advance.
testing reply pm
Why a sweaty office romance? Does your office not have air conditioning?
Precisely
just don't get caught in the conference room or in the elevator -- i heard 2 analysts got fired for hooking up...beware of cameras cameras cameras
and it didn't hurt. Just keep low profile.
if you're going to be working with her directly in any fashion, especially if you are her superior/delegate (as is likely the case at a smaller shop), probably not a good idea, given the risks of it turning sour. otherwise, probably fine.
I dunno how things were for anyone else when they were in college, but I never ever got involved with anyone on the same floor. I tried to avoid people in the same building as much as I could. Might want to consider the same stance in this matter also. Sure its fun and convenient, but if things start to go sour, you won't want to see that person every single day.
was sent this article from a friend. pretty much if you're ugly and she is hot, and you are wondering how you got her, then she doesn't like you. she likes your banker's salary. and face it, if your bonus dips in the next few weeks, she will dump you.....
NYT
adore The New York Times weddings announcements and hope they'll be featured, and those who think such announcements are insufferable, archaic and pretentious ... and hope they'll be featured.
bleary-eyed at the back of the Style section, fixated for an embarrassing length of time on what David Brooks once called "The Mergers and Acquisitions page."
myself) conduct a truly comprehensive analysis, meticulously filtering the announcements for socioeconomic research and recreational mockery. After all, until the Times starts printing divorce notices, there's nothing more captivating than the compressed 20-line resumes of our city's newest pseudo-aristocratic couples.
checklist in hopes that your next Weddings read is infinitely more satisfying.
Splenda, kick boyfriend out of room, turn cell phone to silent. Curl up on couch, locate Style section, unfold to last page. Curse newsprint for turning your new manicure black. Do not get distracted by large color picture in "Vows" section! You have serious work to do. Start at first announcement and ...
she's hot and he's not. Wonder how he landed her. Check profession to confirm suspicions (yep, "generational wealth").
ugly. Chortle impolitely.
Cluck like a yenta.
marriage. Less adorable!
most irritatingly thin 24-year-olds marrying i-bankers will be hawking their 3-carat engagement ring to pay for a divorce lawyer in less than seven years - tops.
rejected.
tied knot with Columbia University girl.
that law degree is prerequisite for New York marriage. Make mental note to sign up for LSAT.
about own college sweetheart. Be very glad you didn't marry him.
last month." Read as "bride gleefully quit crap job after finally landing banker/lawyer/exec with bonus large enough to support her dreams of one day owning Bugaboo Frog stroller."
exorbitant, exhausting wedding while fending off neurotic future mother-in-law" should really go on one's resume. In bold.
anachronistic. a. Almost expect to read: "bride and groom are of good stock."
it's not 1955.
Hendrick Hendricksen Kip, who settled in the 17th century in New York in the area now known as Kips Bay." Think to self, "seriously? They REALLY put that in their wedding announcement??" Wonder if groom went around bragging about that when he was younger. Hope groom got beat up.
stating demise of bride or groom's first marriage. Psychoanalyze. Did he drink? Did she cheat? Is he gay? Refer to old "Days of Our Lives" plots for inspiration.
divorce." Wonder if bride has therapist. Wonder if bride IS therapist. Hope guests kept receipts.
to Ivy League, subtract four years from age and add law degree from Princeton. Remember Princeton doesn't have law school. Oops.
[email protected]
Made the mistake twice. Should have learned my lesson the first time.
I'd think it probably not worth the headache.
I say go for it...probably best to just do a fellow analyst. To echo some of the sentiments of this board, remember to keep quiet. I fucked a fellow analyst at the company offsite and although admittedly she was not the hottest chick in the world all that pent up frustration made for some pretty intense sex. We both made sure not to tell anyone and everything has been smooth sailing. Granted she is in a different office so that does create some separation.
Is he/she worth blowing your career?
Its not worth it, since you might end up messing your future at this company. Or at least you won't be comfortable at work with her presence around you.
Good point. Don't mess up work with romance.
I might also add that higher levels -Directors or MDs, generally speaking, have relationships with people that work outside their industry.
not worth it. I wouldn't do it. Not worth the drama that may ensue.
then yes. of course. duh.
Yeah, definitely do it. Why does everyone think that the whole firm will know if you do anyway?
I would think its always safer not to date someone in the same dept
Holy crap...you reading posts from a year ago and still replying?
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