Have not dated in 3 years, 30 year old Male - Q&A
6'4 Chad regional semi-target graduate, no debt, NYC/NJ metropolitan area residing. Some background (former entrepreneur) last 3 girlfriends ... one moved away 100 miles to sell real estate in the Hamptons. Another went to grad school in Australia and a third graduated college. Ever since then I had girls buy me drinks and the like but I don't know why I can't date nor hook up with women. 3 year dry spell. No h***ers as not my thing. Am I a fool?
This made me feel better about being 5'8 thank you
based
Girls are buying you drinks and still nothing? Do you like women?
I find them amazing. Dua Lipa is like my fcuck, kill and marry woman. But when I used to work for myself for 3ish almost 4 years truth be told ... I had a hard problem approving of my work. It took one year of therapy to accept my work product as adequate. Call me a cuck you die.
wait, are you saying that you want to fuck, marry and then kill dua lipa?
i'm not sure you fully understand that game...
Wait people In their 30’s still refer to themselves as targets/non targets??
OP is clearly not a Chad if hes still referencing his alma mater's status in an attempt to justify the longest dry spell since the dust bowl. OP my advice is pick up some fucking weights, stop letting girls buy you drinks, and muster up the courage to ask a girl if shes down to eat for free off your 2 for 1 Chilis coupon. Also, stop referring to yourself as a semi target Chad if you want to get anywhere with anyone who identifies as a human being.
I’m guessing you don’t look like a gargoyle if girls are buying you drinks so your game is probably awful. Try negging next time. Works like a charm.
Tell them they go to a non-target
Maybe you don't emphasize that you are debt free enough? This should be the first thing that you tell girls.
I created an account to respond to this. Basically the same for me. Sounds like I'm bragging, but whatever, I'm attractive enough that its common for people to think I'm an actor. I live in nyc. In some ways dating is so easy for me, that I cant be bothered to do it. Or I date a girl and dump her because its too easy, and we dont really click. She just likes me bc I look good. Also 30, and for whatever reason havent had a real gf in years. I think nyc encourages it, theres so many options, always another one around the corner. Never any pressure, but time keeps on going on. If I dump a girl, I can find a clone of her in a few weeks. Ive had too many partners to not be a bit cynical.
Sorry but this sounds like the delusional rambling of a 7th grade girl trying to convince herself that all the boys at her school are stupid and that's why Becky has a boyfriend but she doesn't.
If it's too easy aim higher. Instead of bagging four 2's get yourself one 8.
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-do-you-signal-women-that-you…
^ some advice from a couple years back, still holds today
I imagine you have friends, so here's what I'd do since no one here will be able to: ask them what they think. what's keeping you out of the dating pool that you can change? maybe you have no idea that you wear too much cologne, maybe you have no idea that you're intimidating when you drink, I have no clue, but you need to find an honest friend (ideally female) to get a sanity check.
lastly, on the fact you've had a dry spell, why is that? is it the close itself you get rejected from? do you never ask? do you simply not get dates? do you not perform when the moment is close? are you packing a baseball bat down there and women are just afraid? answering that question will help you out. if it's the close itself, then you're asking too early, if you don't ask, well then you know what to change, if it's performance related you can fix that too.
OK - I am 250 pounds but before that was was leaner as I used to run marathons and was closer to 200.
I think we've found the issue. unless you're built like DK Metcalf you need to lose 30-40 pounds
godspeed!
“Chad” “Semi-target” you sure you’re 30 ? In all seriousness you might just be coming off as immature to these women/ not interesting. Stop identifying with all this late teen/ early 20’s jargon. You’re a grown ass man, and I assume you’re not an ogre if women are buying you drinks. Get out of your head, get in shape, embark on some random interesting shit so you have things to talk about. Don’t even cling on to/ talk about your exes that’s some shit for backwards looking suckers.And make the fucking move at the end of the night. Win lose or draw keep pushing
Invite the first girl you see on the street to Applebee's, works every time.
I prefer Chili's, but maybe that's because I'm cultured & refined
"it's pronounced quesa-dee-ya, madame, don't butcher it again"
You’re not a chad if you’re 250 pounds. Lose your fucking beer gut, unless you prefer greasy cheeseburgers to pussy.
Maybe you are not interested in the women that buy you drinks and what not. And only you truly deeply know that. You may want to hook up with them because society has told you to, but for whatever reason (not over ex, stress from work or other personal life stuff) may be blocking you and deep inside you have no desire to hook up with them. If a woman is really interested it's not hard. I mean one can screw up a lot and they will still keep coming back.
You could also be lord of Kingdom Friendzone (which happens to many of us). In which case you may have to change things up but will also realize the more different stuff you do, that this approach brings in women in other ways rather than at the bar or whatever.
In other words, it may be something internal and you aren't interested in a bunch of the women you meet. Maybe it's best to not even think about it. Others have said work out. Cool. Go travel. Get another hobby. Don't even worry about women. Just focus on learning and enjoying life and the rest will probably take care of itself if you are social enough. Ie you will be introduced to/meet women organically.
Good Luck
LMFAO left out the part where you're 250 pounds
God I hate fat people. The American supply curve for women (and guys too) is incredibly fucked just because there's so many obese porky hamplanet lardasses. If your BMI is over 35, you should be euthanized. And you sure as hell don't deserve to date any one.
I am white, but what if I was brown or Asian? Got to factor in race here to ...
Not really WSO-relevant, but had to respond. Recently a friend told me about a 30-year old guy who realized all his friends were getting married, so he booked a week's worth of nightly online dates. One of them turned into his fiance. He got focused and motivated. So, it's really a question of motivation. Not like there are no single women out there for you to date, and regardless of size, sounds like women respond to you. If you want to date, you'll find someone to date/hookup, and if you're really not that into it for whatever reason, you're not finding someone. You do need to make some effort, tho - As for celebrity crushes, by all means, crush away, but any woman regardless of appearance at some point is a "human" that you either can tolerate or not. Celebrities, the most glamorous and figure-perfect of all, seem incredibly prone to breakups and divorce, so beauty is not a very good predictor of compatibility. Not to discredit attraction, but it's merely a starting point. Sure you could buff up, but I think women are far more accepting of a guy's appearance being less than perfect. Don't let that stop you.
How fast do the panties drop when you tell them you have no debt?
Of course this is in the Management Consulting forum. Sounds about right.
Your self description was a tough read. You already have a ton of good advice, here's mine:
Make an effort to improve every day. Say yes to things you normally wouldn't do. Be social. Be active. Be positive.
Exercise will be massively beneficial physically and even more so mentally. 5 days a week minimum. Anything you want, just do it. (insert swoosh here)
Quit viewing yourself as a post grad. You're 30. You're still young AF. But you're not early mid or even late twenties anymore. Find other stuff that defines you. Major turnoff for girls (and people in general) when a guy holds his value in things that aren't relevant anymore. Pretty big red flag.
What does former entrepreneur even mean? Did you fail? Are you loaded from a big exit? Neither are great conversation angles when you first introduce yourself. Whatever the outcome was...take that experience for what it was and apply what you learned...be proud you did it but leave it in the past. Find other things that are important to you now.
I get a vibe that you are a decent guy but you're mentally hung up on something. Take everyone's advice and go to therapy. You'll be blown away by how people interact with you differently when you have good energy. Get yourself right. The rest will follow.
Nobody has roasted this guy for saying he lives in “NYC/NJ metropolitan area“? Just say you live in Jersey
MGTOW is a concept you should look into, in that at least it embraces that there's more than one social paradigm you can adopt, and it's entirely your call what to do socially, and you're not bound to any convention. For instance, I didn't see you say "hey I really want to be married but I'm not, what can I do about it?" You just threw out the idea that you're not dating, and somehow expect us all to magically know what you want, and how to get it. I mean, what is your objective? If you want to go on a bunch of dates, and just hook up, do that. Getting girls isn't that difficult. Are you looking to date? To find someone serious? Or just not feel like dating (which is fine, whatever). If you you're not in a hurry to date/get engaged/marry, then take your time. Your social status and dating value goes up over time, whereas female value declines over time. And nothing makes life worse than picking a bad woman. Vet them well. But if you're on a 3 year dry spell it's because you're choosing that, but whatever, it's your choice. Seriously, whatever man. Don't worry about social norms, make yourself happy. That's it.
I agree. Women want you to smash the patriarchy all up in their guts, even though they like to pretend they hate it on the surface.
Dude yes, there's obviously something seriously fucking wrong with you. However! it can be fixed the next night or weekend your free. So no worries.
Life is short. Too short. Some people say if you live it right, once is enough, but this does not apply to you right now my friend.
In a few decades all your have in this life is memories. If you're still making memories then, awesome, but damn, I suggest having at least a few more girls in your memory bank so you don't hit a midlife crisis in a hurry. Tell your hand you'll visit him later and get out there!!! You got this you no debt 6'4 Chad regional semi-target graduate!