How do you signal women that you work in Investment Banking without telling them?

Thorr2017's picture
Rank: Monkey | banana points 52

Hi Guys,
I know that there are women out there who are easily impressed by the money and generally the prestige of Investment Banking, but how do you show them discreetly that you are working as BB-Banker without giving them the impression that you are a showoff?

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Comments (59)

Nov 4, 2017

Accidentally drop your business cards (though from your previous thread I assume an intern like you wouldn't have any)

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Nov 4, 2017

^^^^ lol good one

Nov 8, 2017

I prefer to accidentally drop my pants

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Nov 8, 2017

to reveal my Goldman Sachs tramp stamp!

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Nov 4, 2017

Pro tip: You have no game if you have to qualify yourself to a girl. Stop seeking women's approval.

"The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and i am no quite sure that i know that." Socrates

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Nov 9, 2017
Bayoumonkey:

Pro tip: You have no game if you have to qualify yourself to a girl. Stop seeking women's approval.

Yes.

Nov 9, 2017

This is an piece of helpful advice here

Nov 13, 2017
Bayoumonkey:

Pro tip: You have no game if you have to qualify yourself to a girl. Stop seeking women's approval.

Listen to this guy, he definitely fucks.

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Nov 4, 2017

Literally they don't care. Maybe 10 years ago. Atleast at the top of the game.

Today its something like tech funder > interesting family money > actor > interesting real business > tech bitch > cool club guy > maybe hedge funder still has a little pull > ib bitch > corporate slave

Array
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Nov 5, 2017

Where do we VC's that "partner with exceptional tech founders to build companies that change the world" fall in that ranking?

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Nov 5, 2017

deleted

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Nov 5, 2017

Hahaha:-)

Nov 9, 2017

Are VCs Tech Funders?

Nov 13, 2017

where does digital nomad fit into that hierarchy? asking for a friend...

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

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Funniest
Nov 5, 2017

Just call her up and say I'm a corporate raider, I orchestrate hostile takeovers. What do you think of that? Pause for a second, then start making sucking noises, freakish piglike grunts,and ask Huh, bitch? Most of the time when ive done this I could tell they were frightened and this pleased me greatly, which enabled me to maintain a strong, pulsing erection for the duration of the phone calls

Array
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Nov 8, 2017
BillPonderosa:

Just call her up and say I'm a corporate raider, I orchestrate hostile takeovers. What do you think of that? Pause for a second, then start making sucking noises, freakish piglike grunts,and ask Huh, bitch? Most of the time when ive done this I could tell they were frightened and this pleased me greatly, which enabled me to maintain a strong, pulsing erection for the duration of the phone calls

Comment of the Year

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Jun 12, 2018

Way to make Arbitrage Andy's story...

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Best Response
Nov 5, 2017

Cancel plans three times in a row due to your VP calling you to fix a powerpoint slide. She'll get the idea.

To infinity... and beyond!

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Nov 5, 2017

Say "I'm insecure but I make a lot of money"

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.

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Nov 5, 2017

Just go up to women and say "How much?" This will weed out the decent ones and leave you with prostitutes (which is likely what you'd be most comfortable with it sounds like).

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Nov 8, 2017

hey, everyone is a prostitute for the right price

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Nov 8, 2017

Go ask my buddy Arbitrage Andy on instagram that question

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Nov 8, 2017

Say you're currently working on project desert storm or war eagle or bellagio or whatever ridiculous name your team has come up with lately. After this she'll see you're out of shape, know you aren't in the military, and recognize that you must be in IB

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Nov 5, 2017

It's funny that while bankers like to create that "covert", military clout, they also are hella out of shape.

I work in corporate M&A and one time a banker said to me:

"Wait, let me put you in touch with so and so, he leads our tactical team"

Nov 8, 2017

alright smalls, sit down and shut up, I'm gonna learn you somethin today.

  1. if a woman cares about what specifically you do, run. it's great if she wants to date someone with ambition, beyond that, fuck it.
  2. lie about your job. if you're in NYC, everyone's in finance. if in SF, everyone's in tech. be different. tell them you're a geriatric masseuse, a billboard artist, a horse cobbler, a vineyard landscape artist, a blue buffalo chef (pet food), anything. just get them thinking when they ask what you do. a buddy of mine in PE used to live in NYC and before he was married would tell girls he was either a commercial fisherman or a garbageman. inevitably this would get them talking because they were intrigued by him not saying "I'm an associate at Silver Lake" or some bullshit.
  3. be in shape
  4. wear clothes that fit. if you think they fit, they probably are still too baggy, take them to a tailor and find brands that fit your in shape body type
  5. smell good, but not noticeably. one squirt each wrist, rub on neck, leave.
  6. wear good shoes. leave the boat shoes, wallabees, and new balances at home. vans are fine, but be sure they're clean
  7. don't go overboard with the hair. everybody wears the richard spencer/josh brolin undercut. if you do this, fine, but don't look like brad pitt from fury.
  8. aside from a watch, no jewelry. period.
  9. posture. if, while standing up straight, I can fit more than two fingers between your shoulder blades, you're slouching.
  10. confidence. women want two things if they're out late night: dick or a hangover. if a girl isn't interested, don't sweat it. be interested but not clingy.

godspeed

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Nov 9, 2017
thebrofessor:
  1. wear good shoes. leave the boat shoes, wallabees, and new balances at home. vans are fine, but be sure they're clean

I agreed with everything you said except for this, if I'm not in my dress shoes or trainers my boat shoes aren't coming off my bare feet. Ever. Boats are badass and so are the associated shoes.

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Nov 8, 2017

couldn't disagree more. unless you're at a party near boats, a college tailgate, a place where everyone is in boating type attire, or you want to look like a fratstar on the 6 year plan, don't wear boat shoes if you're at bars/clubs and trying to pick up women. wear your sperry A/O's to a bar in NYC and tell me how many girls wanna fellate you that night.

I love boats, have tons of pairs of boat shoes, but they're reserved for summer when I'm at the beach or about to come from/go to a boat.

also, why tf do you wear trainers out in public? I'm not saying you need to buy $500 gucci sneakers, but I am saying you can't wear NB 993's to a bar or stinky boat shoes in a big city without socks and expect to get laid by a quality girl

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Nov 3, 2018

so true. if a girl asks "oh you work at a hedge fund, which one?" I know to fucking RUN and use 2 condoms.

Nov 8, 2017

put on headphones and fake a important BSD call, drop your blackberry "by accident" with emails open, make remarks like "wow heineken has really taken a fall since the inbev deal"

come on this is easy stuff

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Nov 8, 2017

Just pee around them and mark your territory.

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Nov 8, 2017

ask her if she wants the ol' ring dinger -- works every time

Nov 8, 2017

Take it from a seasoned female banker, as a banker you don't "talk", "hint" or "signal", you "act". Many times the central appeal of seasoned IB guys is not the prospect of money, shit ton of guys make money, but investment bankers tend to be the most badass, obnoxious alphas which is the central appeal to the chicks. It's the confidence level, the "superiority complex". "Talking", unless its obnoxious, cynical, etc. isn't what sets bankers apart. Seriously. You want to impress a girl as a banker? You lunge at her like a bull in a china shop. And you don't think of the consequences. Everything is on a moment's basis, you drop your qualms and go for the gold.

One of the vp's I worked with used to drop stupid lines like "not only did I forget her name the morning after, but turns out I forgot to tell her what mine was too". You seriously take it on the impulse of the moment. If it doesn't work out... Who the f*ck cares? You will get a hundred more. That is the classic "sexy" banker psyche. So next time you see a girl you like you ditch your insecurities and go to her. What do you say? Who the fck cares? Just say whatever flies into your head and don't give a shit. You won't lose either way. That is sexy to a girl.

Biggest faux pas junior (and some older) bankers make is falling into the trap of announcing to women their occupations. There's even an old joke about it: "How do you spot a banker in a bar? You don't have to. He'll tell you before you open your mouth."

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Nov 9, 2017

Listen to what she's saying. As a dude, the moment you start trying to show off like that is when you've lost the game.

A key trait of high value people is that other people care about your opinions much more than you care about theirs. Try to emulate that attitude and what she's saying is a good start.

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Nov 9, 2017
catthegreat:

as a banker you don't "talk", "hint" or "signal", you "act". Many times the central appeal of seasoned investment bankers is they tend to be the most badass, obnoxious alphas which is the central appeal to the chicks.

"Talking", unless its obnoxious, cynical, etc. isn't what sets bankers apart. You want to impress a girl as a banker? You lunge at her like a bull in a china shop.

What do you say? Who the fck cares? Just say whatever flies into your head and don't give a shit.

Great stuff. Spoken like a pro.

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Nov 9, 2017

Leveraged Sell Out was over 10 fucking years ago. Find a new website dude.

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Nov 9, 2017

They'll know because I always party hard in style-bottles at the club. Roll up with hot girls and a hot ride. models and bottles lifestyle, baby.

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Nov 12, 2017

Beat me to it!

Nov 13, 2017
captainkoolaid:

They'll know because I always party hard in style-bottles at the club. Roll up with hot girls and a hot ride. models and bottles lifestyle, baby.

AJ, is that you?

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Nov 8, 2017
takenotes08:
captainkoolaid:

They'll know because I always party hard in style-bottles at the club. Roll up with hot girls and a hot ride. models and bottles lifestyle, baby.

Oh man, good old Alf! Where is he now
AJ, is that you?

Nov 9, 2017

Tell them to ask you a question. When they ask you what do you do, tell them you're into "murders and executions, mostly." They'll be impressed.

only works in the nightclub setting

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Nov 9, 2017

Don't ever tell a girl you're a banker. She'll make you 'wait' so that you think she's a good girl. It's never worth the 'wait'.

Work hard, work clean, & most of all do not give up.

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Nov 13, 2017

Me to female BB associate: "yeah I'm the Andy Louis"

Her: "I'm Victoria.. hi..."

Skip to 1:52

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

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Nov 12, 2017

This made my day.

Nov 12, 2017

in b4 a enterprise software rep swoops in with his charm because you've been at a desk for 100 hours in the last week

he talks to people all day, makes more than you, and works 35 hours a week.

Nov 12, 2017

This is depressing to hear haha.

Nov 13, 2017

No joke, my brother signed a restaurant bill with 'Bulge Bracket X' and his number. Girl shoots him a text the next night. I was dying

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Nov 13, 2017

screenshots or it didn't happen

Nov 13, 2017

hahahaha i really wish i could

Nov 14, 2017

Don't tell women that you work in investment banking just to try to impress them. Just tell them you work in "finance." Let them find out what you do for a living afterward. I mean ultimately you're gonna do what you want to do. But if someone is really into you, it won't matter whether you work in IB or if you're a high school teacher. Looks fade, loyalty stays - it's a tough concept to grasp in your early 20s, but becomes more and more meaningful as time progresses.

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Nov 14, 2017

Ask her out to Dorsia

Nov 16, 2017

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Nov 16, 2017

It's better to tell her you're a mailman and have her find out you work in IB later,
than to tell her you work in IB and have her find out a tenured MTA worker makes more than you.

Personally, I don't tell girls anything about what I do. Just look at her and smile.

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Mar 25, 2018

.

Nov 18, 2017

It's simple - don't.

Nov 19, 2017

"What do you do" usually comes up in the first phone call or date. Are you such a pussy or so inept that you can't make it that far? You're a moron, OP. Not to mention, women may be impressed by money, but most people don't know what-the-fuck Investment Banking is. Telling them that you work in IB is just going to require further explanation, so what-the-fuck are you signaling? If anything, your question should be about signaling that you have money. Enjoy your monkey shit.

Jun 12, 2018

Whip out your giant shlong and start waving it around in her face. As long as your cock ring doesnt slip off she'll get the message and you'll have nothing to worry about