I did a cum tribute to my friend that got an MBB offer

Hey guys,

Just wanted to ask if this was normal because it has really strained our friendship recently. So my friend had been recruiting for consulting for a while. He put so much time, effort, sweat, tears, and other fluids into networking, behavioral prep, and of course case prep. He cut off all of his masturbation for 7 months, didn’t shower for weeks at a time, and even would shit his pants while case prepping with me because he did not dare miss a second to improve.

However, as recruitment season came around, he was met with disappointment after disappointment. The MBB was becoming a shorter acronym by the moment. Even the Big 4 and T2 firms brought disappointment. He got really depressed and would wallow in his bed for days trying to figure out what went wrong.

Yet, on one faithful fall day, he received an email providing him with the opportunity of a lifetime. He leapt for joy as he was given a first round for three different firms - one being an MBB.

He went back on the grind case prepping, practicing his behaviorals which were full of lies, and again shat his pants on multiple occasions while I helped him prepare.

Then the interview came around and he glazed the interviewer so hard that he was given a final round.

He then spent the proceeding weeks absolutely destroying cases and reciting “Can you give me some time to structure my thoughts?” in the mirror.

The final round happened, and he came out confident, but unsure. Hours passed and no answer. 1 day passes - still no answer. A couple days pass - nothing. He began to feel discouraged and thinking he was a failure (because he was at the time).

But in the late hours of a faithful weekday, he gets a call from an unknown number. He answers the call shivering in his timbers. A partner answers the phone and says “Welcome to McKinsey” and he ejaculates all over his room - his pants soaked with semen. And I, his best friend who has been with him by his side since day one, stand there watching a miracle occur right in front of my eyes couldn’t help myself and proceeded to undo my pants, whip out my cock, and stroke to this ingrained memory of what true happiness is. I nut almost immediately and our room gets a second coating of fresh ejaculate. My friend, however, saw what had occurred and looked at me in disgust and ran out of my room with vomit and tears coming out of his face and eyes.

As for me, I was left standing - pants down around my ankles, pondering what I did wrong.

So my question becomes: what did I do wrong?