Twas the Night before Thanksgiving

As we approach the holiday season, we're all starting to see the news reports discussing the madness that is Black Friday. I've heard of many people already starting to line up - as of yesterday. It's certifiably insane. So much so, that a traditional blog post is simply inappropriate. As such, I've made the (potentially regrettable) decision to make my thoughts known through prose and poetry.

Twas the Night before Thanksgiving
A Poem by mikesswimn

Oh How I Met Your Mother, with Monday’s many rhymes
I thought it’d be nice to post like you this time
Black Friday’s upon us
And the proles do line up
At Best Buy and Wal-Mart, in tents for days; no lie!
While we’re all in offices, dreaming of football and pie
Pumpkin, it’s awesome, yet we slave in our cubes
Given the season of turkey’s demise, it’s inherently rude

But to those who are fretting, let me say hey
At least we get paid
Unlike those suckers
Who have beaten the truckers
That carry their deals
(All quite the steal)
To the stores they’re a camping
For 70” TVs and a trampling

Surely, no doubt
These idiots would pout
If only they knew, the pay they are missing
To sit in the cold instead of going to meetings
A frighteningly large detail
As they could’ve bought it all retail!
Monies left behind should make them all bent
As they sit poorer and cold in a tent

So enormously foolish
I’ll bet you while young, none were too schoolish
As you close out your week
Take a gander, at least take a peek
At those who know nothing of models and decks
Know that their earnings are small, a mere speck
They’re not shooting for a slot in MBB
Or for the ever prestigious job in PE

So while your job’s late night’s leave
Can put tears on your sleeve
It can always be worse
And not just with a ride in a hearse
Remember that we got mad bottles
And, sometimes, during bonus season, the occasional model
It’s not so bad, and forever these days won’t go on
So just say fuck it! Cause we’re gettin’ rich, son!