Guttenberg: Chinese Wall More Like A Chain-Link Fence

Alright, this happened during my move overseas, so my apologies for it being a couple weeks ex post facto. It was just too delicious to ignore.

In a case of what may be the worst timing in history, Mitchel Guttenberg was sentenced to 6 1/2 years in the federal pen for insider trading on November 3, and an angry mob lined up around the block waiting to cock punch this highball on his way out.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/11/…

So this tool goes from a stately mansion on Long Island with a hot wife to a 6x8 cell and an insistently amorous roommate at Fort Dix (I swear, this stuff writes itself...). I'm sure he fancied himself some kind of corporate James Bond, selling out his bank (UBS) to the hedgies for a drop-top Porsche and a shot at some quality tail (clearly he wasn't getting by on his looks).

I resent the comparison to Boesky, though. Not that Ivan was some kind of genius (he was anything but) but at least he had a little flair. You'd never see Ivan skulking around some train station coffee bar selling secrets for pennies on the dollar. And last time I checked (it's been a few years), Ivan was living in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean in La Jolla, California. This clayhead is going to be lucky to rent a basement apartment in South Boston when he finishes his stretch.

2 Comments
 

Consequatur maxime vel cumque sint quasi nam veritatis excepturi. Mollitia dignissimos nihil recusandae asperiores et sed. Culpa dolorem impedit enim maiores sequi qui. Dolores natus facilis est necessitatibus.

Beatae laboriosam odio velit consequatur qui. Nemo rerum provident saepe sed.

Ut inventore dolor asperiores deleniti et itaque architecto. Et dicta sit earum expedita. Vel sunt et ut officiis quidem et magni quos.

Career Advancement Opportunities

November 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Point72 99.0%
  • D.E. Shaw 98.0%
  • AQR Capital Management 97.1%
  • Citadel Investment Group 96.1%
  • Magnetar Capital 95.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

November 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Magnetar Capital 99.0%
  • D.E. Shaw 98.0%
  • Blackstone Group 97.0%
  • Citadel Investment Group 96.0%
  • Two Sigma Investments 95.0%

Professional Growth Opportunities

November 2026 Hedge Fund

  • AQR Capital Management 99.0%
  • Point72 98.1%
  • D.E. Shaw 97.1%
  • Citadel Investment Group 96.1%
  • Magnetar Capital 95.1%

Total Avg Compensation

November 2026 Hedge Fund

  • Portfolio Manager (9) $1,648
  • Vice President (27) $464
  • Director/MD (12) $355
  • NA (9) $320
  • Engineer/Quant (83) $287
  • 3rd+ Year Associate (26) $284
  • Manager (4) $282
  • 2nd Year Associate (32) $253
  • 1st Year Associate (77) $193
  • Analysts (235) $177
  • Intern/Summer Associate (29) $145
  • Junior Trader (5) $102
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (277) $95
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”