How to control rage/aggression?
Okay,
As titled. I have a pretty bad issue with lashing out on subordinates if they do anything stupid.
Even minor mistakes rile me up pretty badly.
Sometimes want to skin juniors alive, really.
Anyway to handle this better? Any tips?
It's not 'first timer mistake'. It's repeated, and has been issued warning to not doing it again.
Well, one of them happens to do it again yesterday.
Terminate on the spot.
Some stupid fucks just need to be fired.
I'd try to contextualize your rage with what you're actually looking to achieve. Presumably it is a high quality of work and performance from your junior team. With that goal in mind, an effective leader has to have the ability to identify what type of response is necessary to achieve that. Likely, that will vary depending on the individual. Some people need the kick in the ass and they'll take the point, be motivated from it, and run through walls for you. Others will need a softer approach, where you're still making your point and not giving them a pass, but it takes a more encouraging tone.
Figuring out what motivates the individuals on your team is so critical. I learned this early on through sports and was surprised how much it translated to the office.
Used to have serious anger problems. Have a mantra now, "respond, don't react". It started with adding a little time buffer between when the red hit my brain and I verbalized it. It's a fancy way of saying I took a timeout.
Do people hit a certain level in finance and then just forget how to act as a regular human being?
Not to be brash but man, these are usually kids a year or two out of college. People are people. We make mistakes. Explain what was done wrong, watch to see if they’ve learned in the future. Meditation, as stated earlier, is also great to keep calm in general.
Believe it or not, you were also once a junior that made mistakes under your boss. How did you want it dealt with then? Deal with it like that, now.
I’m still in college so I might get MS for voicing my opinion, but while I see where you’re coming from and get that these people are new hires and should be expected to make mistakes, you’re also paying them a boatload of money to produce high quality work. I understand OPs POV.
Train some sort of fighting in your spare time, or use breathing techniques to calm down. Give yourself a buffer period before you speak to associates
or simply, get therapy
For every person who is aware of a rage issue, there are hundreds who aren't even aware or willing to admit.
Deep breaths. Think before you respond, think of yourself sitting in court because you said something stupid. Think back to when you were in their position, were you perfect? Likely not. Teach them your ways, view yourself less as a boss and more as a mentor.
go do some financial volunteering work where you help low income/disadvantage students learn about finance. you’ll realize not everyone comes from the same background or have the same skill level but you’ll also see the tremendous value you can provide to them by being a decent mentor who will take the time to explain what market cap and treasury stock is. this will translate into some sympathy for your juniors, who will in time pay it forward.
you can also just yell at your juniors and berate them but I think you know how small of an industry this is. I wouldn’t want to be known as the PM who had a temper tantrum and turns blood red when his junior makes a minor mistake. yeah this job is mainly based on how well your returns are but if you’re a jerk who cares, there’s a million fund managers that are probably just as good.
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remember, there are words you can't take back and your actions risk you losing the loyalty of your analysts
What type of mistake or issues did your analyst make? Like a model was wrong or a company blew up on earnings? Was it driven by process error (ignored key worry or didn’t diligence it) or luck? How junior is this person? Starting out or a few years in?
all of this can frame whether it is a reasonable to be angry or not
Anger the inner teacher is a good book that might be able to help
1) Blame the analysis not the analyst
2) what behavior do you want to reward? Do you want someone to come to you with questions? If you show rage do you think someone will ask good questions to get a better analysis? Probably not. Remind yourself of this.
3) remind yourself that if you’re a mean boss your juniors will quit and your efforts teaching them are wasted.
Sounds like aren’t a very effective or productive mid level, and you’ll probably be managed out in due time regardless; I wouldn’t worry about it, your management will take care of it.
I would hate working for you.
Therapy. Or, you know, a Time Machine to go back in time and make your parents love you.
If you were making bank as a PM you wouldn't gaf. You probably suck as an investor and have subpar performance and subpar comp. Sorry for your loss bro.
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