What Advice Should You Have Used From Your Parents?
For those primarily in the industry already with numerous years of experience..what advice did you not take from your parents that you wish you did?
As a college student I am slowly finding out that my parents might not always know whats best for me and I try to determine what I should listen to vs. what I should screen out.
There are two types of advice: "what matters in life" and "how do I get what matters".
Most of my parents advice with regard to "how do I get what matters" were wrong after my first year of college.
The reality is that your parents will simply not know how the game works unless they for some reason have knowledge of high finance / management consulting or a related field. If you are successful, your parents will take credit and feel like they know more than they do, but this is mistaken. At least in my own case, this is what played out. If daddy was a banker, listen to his advice. If not, you need to listen to someone that actually knows how this system works and listen to them. The quality of advice on WSO is of varying quality but if you read everything and read m&i that's probably better advice than your parents in "how do I get there." Even better is finding a successful alumni to talk to about this.
Your parents know you well and they might be able to help you answer "what matters," "what am I good at" and other introspective questions. Most likely, however, your parents will not be able to differentiate the arenas in which they give good and bad advice, because that is very difficult to do. In my case, my parents give me all sorts of advice and I would say 80-90% is poor advice. The 10-20% that is good advice relates to their understanding of who I am.
this ... hoping to be in the position in 25 years to provide the quality advice.
In high school my dad said something along the lines of "relationships are everything." Initially, I interpreted this from a business perspective, but now I approach it more holistically. My job and hobbies don't mean a thing if I don't have anyone to share them with
My parents told me growing up that if I truly wanted to successfully financially I would have to fight harder than the rest.
I was born with a terrible speech impediment (which was fixed through speech therapy) but also grew up in the trailer park. I mean literal meth head cousins show up every year tweaking to Thanksgiving.
They knew they were poor and couldn't pay for my school, or even know anyone who could give me advice (mom was a waitress, dad was disabled).
It was hard, but they did the little things they could. Making sure I was in schools with Gifted/Talented programs, as well as making sure I had rides to all my extracurriculars (debate, golf, football) but that was it. That was all the support they could offer.
So I learned early on, that I would have to grind. I'd have to put in 110% because somewhere else there was a kid born with my same goals but parents are millionaires, had private school education, tutored for the ACT, etc and I wouldn't have that kind of easy ride.
So fast forward to today. I've worked with two top startups (think Peter Thiel has funded and sat on the board) as well as started a business which although it failed (happens) was one of the best learning experience. I received a full ride scholarship to UTDallas valued at $70,000 and have shook hands with some of the most powerful people on the planet.
If I could pass that kind of story on to my kids or friends, thats what I would want to do. To let them know, that truly anything is possible but its going to take different effort for each person depending on where they are starting.
awesome stuff man ..Sometimes financial wellbeing can lead to complacency.
Its a blessing and a curse. I tend to judge myself based on my financial well-being. Which is fine and dandy, but sometimes I could be complacent and live in Dallas with a salary around 100K and be happy. BUT, I've programmed myself to think $10,000,000 or bust. Some call that good, other's think its unfulfilling. We will see how I change as I get older.
Thanks for sharing +1 SB
Your posts are excellent. I'm sure you've already helped numerous people through this forum. Thank you.
UTD represent! Whoosh! That's a great story, very encouraging thank you for sharing.
Best advice was don't jump in puddles (they can be deeper than they appear) and never walk barefoot or the cobras will get you (lived in India for 4 years as a child).
My parents always said it was important for them to let me stand on a slippery rock sometimes, which proved to be invaluable in learning to make my own decisions.
I plan to incorporate this into my parenting style one day.
"Get good grades"
I knew I was smart. I didn't give a shit about doing my homework when I would get 95%+ on every test without studying. Who cares if I got a B or a C in the class as a result, amirite? I didn't need validation and busy work was bullshit.
Now I have a no-name D2 state school on my resume while y'all graduated from Ivies.
My parents always told me, "Wasted talent is the worst thing that can happen to a person." Growing up, I always had this in mind and tried to find something I really enjoyed and just ran with it. Although I go through phases with things as I have all my life (think video games, sports, history) I've put my all into at least one thing for portions of my life and now I can hopefully do the same with finance that will transcend into a nice career.
Best advice from my parents is that you should always try your hardest to respect somebody, or love them if they are family. This helps tremendously in building relationships, in particular at times of not seeing eye to eye.
"put down that bottle"
and now here i am, blowing a .26 on a thursday afternoon
always wear a condom
Along these lines: Don't be a dummy, put it on her tummy.
60% of the time it works every time
"Wrap it or fap it"
"don't listen to me"
buying a house in 2011 when I couldn't afford it..but I can now and would have seen a nice appreciation too
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