What the HELL Are All these UFOs? The fact that the White House had to literally come out and say that all these rando UFO sightings carry "no indication of aliens" is ridiculous by itself. Like, obviously, it's not aliens, right?? No, the government would never lie to us, of course. But at the same time, Air Force General Glen VanHerck did say he hasn't "ruled anything out." It could be fear-mongering, but the guy is in charge of the damn US North American Aerospace Defense Command and Northern Command of our military, suggesting he may know some sh*t. Since legitimately 0 people in the entire country know what's going on, let's talk about it while doing our very favorite thing-speculating wildly! First things first: the term "UFO" is dripping with extraterrestrial connotations. But, c'mon, we're smarter than that. An "unidentified flying object" is just that-an object that happens to be flying, yet we are unaware of exactly what it is (aka, it's unidentified). So, technically, if I chuck a rock at your face, and before it hits you, it could be considered a "UFO," as it is, in fact, a flying object of which you lack knowledge of exactly what it is. With that massive caveat, the US military has shot down not one, not two, but FOUR UFOs in recent days. Something is happening… And that something, for the most part, is largely just increased scrutiny since the downing of a Chinese surveillance balloon on February 4th. Air defense systems have been on high alert for innocuous objects since the public flipped a lid over a singular-and alleged-surveillance balloon. NPR summarizes these objects fantastically, btw; check it out here. A lot of the hype is born out of the general vagaries used to describe these things, like the term "UFO" itself or "high altitude airborne object," as NPR points out. This is done largely to remain accurate in one's statements in the face of lacking data but leaves room for wild interpretations. As a result, everyone defaults to those "little green men." So, at least for now, don't plan on witnessing alien life just yet. If you want to do that, you should've stormed Area 51 back in 2019 with all those whack-jobs before the world fell apart. No reason to freak out quite yet, apes; we've still got plenty of big problems originating here on the Blue Planet. How does this affect your portfolio, you ask? Idk, maybe buy defense stocks or go to all cash or something. If there's an alien invasion, something tells me there are bigger things to worry about than your portfolio. Do you apes ever stop thinking about profits?? (We don't…) The big question: What in the universe is going on with all these UFOs, and when will we have some definitive answers on these downed aircraft? |
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