Anyone have "hardo" coworkers who don't take PTO?
Have a director who doesn't ever take time off and wears it proudly on his chest. Will constantly bring it up at meetings or in chats, and hint that others should follow. Furthermore, he'll log on during holidays like thanksgiving/xmas and make others aware of it.
Will say shit like "couldn't make my daughters graduation because of work" and everyone else will say that he can take PTO, and he'll respond saying the work that day was too important to miss (when there was nothing going on). My firm doesn't even pay out unused PTO if you leave
Yeah...
Most in my group are actually pretty cool but we got one VP in particular who is like real life Patrick Bateman and I don't mean that in a good way. He seems to have no comprehension that people have a life outside of work. The rest in the group are cool though
Wouldn’t be so sure. 95% chance your VP is managing you exactly the way your seniors ask them to manage you.
I’ve been on the other side of this far too much. Very easy for the MD to be friendly, tell you to get some rest and enjoy your weekend while simultaneously behind closed doors telling the VP to push the team to get the work done.
Every senior knows how it works. If they really cared about you, it would take 5 seconds for the MD to tell the VP that you should have the weekend off and that would be the end of that.
My guess is that one VP has worked long enough with the team to get the joke and the others are too new to have seen a full comp cycle.
Based on the most helpful WSO content, it seems like you're dealing with a classic "hardo" who thrives on projecting their workaholic tendencies onto others. This behavior can be toxic, especially when it creates an unspoken pressure for the team to emulate their habits. Here are a few ways to handle this:
Set Your Own Boundaries: Just because your director doesn't take PTO doesn't mean you shouldn't. Use your PTO as needed and don't feel guilty about it. Remember, your well-being is more important than matching someone else's unhealthy work habits.
Ignore the Noise: If they brag about skipping personal milestones or working during holidays, let it roll off your back. Their choices don't have to dictate your actions.
Focus on Your Work: As long as you're meeting expectations and delivering quality work, their comments about PTO or working during holidays shouldn't impact you.
Team Culture: If this behavior is creating a broader toxic culture, consider discussing it with HR or a trusted senior colleague. Sometimes, a gentle nudge from higher-ups can help address such issues.
Long-Term Perspective: If this environment feels unsustainable or if the pressure becomes too much, it might be worth exploring other opportunities where work-life balance is respected.
Ultimately, don't let someone else's unhealthy habits dictate your approach to work. Balance is key, and taking time off is essential for long-term productivity and mental health.
Sources: The Work Always Gets Done, https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/investment-banking/my-director-hates-me-should-i-quit?customgpt=1, Watching others leave early is demoralizing - what do I do?, Handling Stress / Burnout in Private Equity, VP Forbids Me to WFH
What a fucking loser that guy is
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