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Passionate about capital markets, I bring value to your company through hard work, critical thinking and sheer determination to succeed.
Should be:
I am passionate about capital markets. I will bring value to your company through hard work, critical thinking and sheer determination to succeed.
I'm a lawyer by trade, so this irked me. Also, under IFSE Institute the word "Partner's" has a quotation mark instead of an apostrophe. I would ding you because if you can't make your 100 word LinkedIn grammatically correct then how are you going to fair with a pitchbook? I'm not trying to be malicious or put you down. There are so many qualified candidates and this might not even matter, but I try not to expose myself to things I have control over. Good luck.
Probably just fine. I wouldn't hold this against him in an interview. My point is, the job market is ultra competitive and even the slightest deficiency may hinder you. Another thought process could be "Ok, well, this is all just a first draft. He wrote this and didn't review it."
P.S. If I'm ever in a position to hire, I would absolutely give people like OP a chance. I was just trying to play devil's advocate to help.
Mmmmkay
I don't know if I'd put up a twitter account in the first place, but even less likely if the name is pitbul13.
My first piece of advice - abandon this strategy. No one is going to hand you something on a silver platter. You need to put in the effort.
i would ding you based on the pic.
no joke.
Yea man in this economy the banks come to you.
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