Is spring insight really work experience? I'd honestly have it as a bullet point. You should have better bullet points in your actual experiences like the BB.

Use the STAR format.

Honestly, post this to financial careers on Reddit too - you'll probably have better luck

 

Format is decent, agree with above by needing quantifiable information. Your coursework under your degree isn't really relevant as they're all just standard modules in a math degree. Your 'BA' in Mathematics also gives away your university because aren't 99% of Math degrees BSc not BA?

Your descriptions on work experience seem too brief. Show what value you added in the role. Was it successful? What was the outcome?

 
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