Thanks for checking out my thread. Was just looking for everyone’s opinion on my little brother who is a sophomore. I got my sophomore internship through my friends Dad but he needs to cold email to get a sophomore IB internship. Thoughts on his template below?
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holy god be humble lol and your e-mail is way too eager. 5-6 sentences and use general phrases not "i hope one day to be a deal maker like yourself"
Yeah that’s what I was thinking too thanks
This might be one of the most pretentious cold email I've read
this actually sounds borderline psychotic if you read this with a monotonous tone
This fucking kid sounds like the Goldman Hirevue interview kid on youtube... "I want to be a rainmaker"
If I got this email, I would give you the offer
Haha he’s just a sophomore no need to rail on him
Honestly, this email makes you sound like a finance robot with no personality.
If you're a first semester sophomore who has the "ability to build complex financial models from the ground up" and knows all about "corporate valuation techniques," then you're either a liar, know so little that you think you know a lot, or don't leave your dorm too much. Moreover, if you're in college and think you will "cherish every moment spent working," you're a robot and no one will want to work with you, or you've never had a job in your life. Also, your "life's dream" should not be "working as an intern" and gaining "treasured" deal experience.Try imagining that someone sent this to you.
Thanks I’ll be sure to pass this info on to my little bro. Like I said, I already had my sophomore internship at a boutique IB shop through my friends Dad. He hooked it up cause I’m well connected
This is a joke, right?
Thanks for all the feedback I’m no longer accepting advice for my little bro at this point. Jeez guys go easy on him next time
rofl. ok, now i'm 100% sure it's a joke. well played.
This made me bust out laughing in the middle of a lecture.
You should send this out to analysts if you want to get invited to an office. There is at least a chance they will invite you just to see the kid who wrote it.
Hey, what was the email template? Can you send it to me so I can learn to not make any similar mistakes when I send out my cold emails? Thank you so much!
You might want to also throw in a line about how much you can drink/party - they love that stuff.
Maybe throw in an example of a time you were out until 4am drunk and high out of your mind and still manage to write your Finance exam for 8am and scored A+. #winning
They all know how it was "back in their day" as you put it so its good to always relate to them on a personal level.
ps - throw in the hashtag to show that you are up to date on social media trends, it helps!
I understand this is a joke, but for those freshmen and sophomores using this site as a reference, please don't write anything close to these examples.
Four to five sentences describing who you and stating that you'd like to set up a call to learn about their experiences and the bank is all you need. Just be a normal person Jesus.
What did the email say lol, asking so I don't make the same mistakes as them. Thank you!
Anyone with serious advice feel free to PM me
I myself had mixed results cold emailing, so I won't pretend to be an expert, but I will say it's pretty clear you need to tone it down. "Cherish every moment" and "life's dream" will pretty certainly turn people off, to give 2 examples.
Edit: knowing some of the people I have met in line at recruiting events, I really am having a hard time deciding if this is real or not. I hope for everyone's sake all of this is a joke.
Thanks I’ll pass this along to my bro who needs advice
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