Cold Email Advice for Sophomore SA

Thanks for checking out my thread. Was just looking for everyone’s opinion on my little brother who is a sophomore. I got my sophomore internship through my friends Dad but he needs to cold email to get a sophomore IB internship. Thoughts on his template below?

23 Comments
 

holy god be humble lol and your e-mail is way too eager. 5-6 sentences and use general phrases not "i hope one day to be a deal maker like yourself"

I am the real boss baby.
 

If you're a first semester sophomore who has the "ability to build complex financial models from the ground up" and knows all about "corporate valuation techniques," then you're either a liar, know so little that you think you know a lot, or don't leave your dorm too much. Moreover, if you're in college and think you will "cherish every moment spent working," you're a robot and no one will want to work with you, or you've never had a job in your life. Also, your "life's dream" should not be "working as an intern" and gaining "treasured" deal experience.Try imagining that someone sent this to you.

 

Thanks I’ll be sure to pass this info on to my little bro. Like I said, I already had my sophomore internship at a boutique IB shop through my friends Dad. He hooked it up cause I’m well connected

Fuckin my way thru nyc one chick at a time
 

Thanks for all the feedback I’m no longer accepting advice for my little bro at this point. Jeez guys go easy on him next time

Fuckin my way thru nyc one chick at a time
 

This made me bust out laughing in the middle of a lecture.

You should send this out to analysts if you want to get invited to an office. There is at least a chance they will invite you just to see the kid who wrote it.

I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done
 

You might want to also throw in a line about how much you can drink/party - they love that stuff.

Maybe throw in an example of a time you were out until 4am drunk and high out of your mind and still manage to write your Finance exam for 8am and scored A+. #winning

They all know how it was "back in their day" as you put it so its good to always relate to them on a personal level.

ps - throw in the hashtag to show that you are up to date on social media trends, it helps!

 

I understand this is a joke, but for those freshmen and sophomores using this site as a reference, please don't write anything close to these examples.

Four to five sentences describing who you and stating that you'd like to set up a call to learn about their experiences and the bank is all you need. Just be a normal person Jesus.

 

I myself had mixed results cold emailing, so I won't pretend to be an expert, but I will say it's pretty clear you need to tone it down. "Cherish every moment" and "life's dream" will pretty certainly turn people off, to give 2 examples.

Edit: knowing some of the people I have met in line at recruiting events, I really am having a hard time deciding if this is real or not. I hope for everyone's sake all of this is a joke.

 

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