Excel Hero

ricochetXi dont get it. why are knowing these shortcuts related to finance or PE. i guess they can help make some things faster but why do people connect excel with finance if youre just looking at stocks on a screen all day?

Take it away, LSO (from 2006)

"I watched in horror as Josh busted out some dirty old hideously colored model to build off of, and nearly passed out when I saw him start navigating.

Get this…HE WAS USING THE MOUSE!! …“WTF?!” I nearly shat myself with incredulity. I was so embarrassed that he was my colleague and I was his that I almost went and told one of the partners about the act of blasphemy I had just seen and that I would quit if some action wasn’t taken. But I restrained myself. I had to calm down. I turned back to my computer, loaded up ESPN.com, took several deep breaths and let myself get hypnotized by the ever-flashy Flash advertisements. After a moment, I knew what I had to do.

I turned and tapped Josh on the shoulder to get his attention. I didn’t say a word, but my face said “Yo…yeah you, McKposer.” We locked eyes. I slowly and dramatically reached for my mouse cable. Staring him down, I methodically unplugged it from my computer’s USB port. The cable came out slowly but smoothly and with it’s final, climactic release, I heard Josh gulp with fear.

I continued to glare at him as I started to “fly around.” My eyeballs burned through his unweathered, 60-hour-a-week-when-he-should-have-done-90 face as I hid and unhid sheets and conditionally formatted and applied validation to cells with triple nested conditional and indirect functions and then culminated by on-the-fly writing a macro that took my data and made it into a Marimekko (and we don’t even use that shit!). I never turned to look at the screen, and my eyes never left his.

“Welcome to PE, bitch,” I growled.