Ghosted by 4 Connections. Am I Doing Something Wrong?
Hey WSO,
In the last month or so, I’ve been able to make 4 particular connections through cold emailing. Each email led to phone calls which, from my understanding, all went well [part of the reason I have this impression is because all of the conversations extended well over time (not my doing). One talked to me for over an hour even though I suggested a 15-minute convo in the email].
2 of the four said they would get back to me about job opportunities within their firm, the 3rd one suggested an open line of communication so that I could reach out if I saw anything of interest, and the 4th one gave me a referral to a higher up. After each chat, I followed up by email (something along the lines of “How are you? Just checking in about…” blah-blah-blah. I always touched on something we talked about in our initial conversation in the follow up as well) to no response. The higher up that the 4th connection referred me to also did not respond to my emails. I checked in again after 1-2 weeks to no avail.
I know I’m not painting a detailed picture but that’s because I don’t have many details myself. I’m a bit confused. Am I missing something? I appreciate if any of y’all could give me some pointers, especially because it happened with 4 different individuals at 4 separate firms within a relatively short period of time. Thank you!
If you don't mind me asking, what was in the subject line and what did you say in the body of the email to the senior person?
Hi, Elon! Thank you for replying to the post!
The subject line of the initial email was "{Our Shared University} Grad - Reaching Out". All communications were had within this email thread. The first follow ups went something like this
"Hi {Person},
I hope you are well! I am following up with regards to our last conversation. For one, I've implemented a lot of your advice. I reached out to [referral] and {they were} gracious enough to chat with me. Like you, {they were} incredibly helpful and insightful, so thank you for referring {them}.
Also, you mentioned having a conversation with [higher up] about [position in question]. I was wondering if there are any updates in that arena.
Best,
{Me}"
Subsequent follow-up were much more succinct:
"Hi {Person},
I hope you're doing well! I wanted to follow-up and see if there have been any developments since our last exchange.
Best,
{Me}"
Wait, did you follow up with a thank you note after the call? I noticed that for the conversations where I did not send a thank you note, it was much higher chance of getting ghosted because people forget who you are/are annoyed you took too long to follow up.
It also might just be that they got busy afterwards, or that they looked into job openings and found they didn’t have any. In either case, they’re not ignoring you maliciously, it’s just how it goes.
I’ll give you an example - I spoke to a ton of summer interns and liked a few. Then I got crushed with work so stopped replying to messages, but when our placement decisions came around I went to bat for those kids. So even though I kinda ghosted them I still did what I could cause I thought they were nice and wanted to help.
Thank you for responding! Yes, I wrote a thank you note to each individual on the same day following our chat. Then, I followed up ~1-2 weeks after that.
Thanks for your perspective on what things may be like on their end. I know bankers are notoriously busy but I wondered if there was anything I might be doing on my end (especially since it happened 4 separate times). Do you have any advice for me moving forward? Should keep following up or let it breathe or perhaps send a carrier pigeon? Again, I appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Okay, got you. That’s good then, but maybe you can follow up earlier if you aren’t - like literally in your thank you note ask also say “like we discussed, I would greatly appreciate if you would get back to me about any openings on your team” - so that it is on their plate. If you’re following up on the specifics 1-2 weeks later, that may cause the disconnect. That also forces them to acknowledge that when they send a reply to your thank-you.
It seems like the calls are going well if people are offering those things/going over time. I think the reality is is that it is just a numbers game and this is bound to happen. I remember during my SA recruiting sometimes alumni at certain banks would get me really excited and say they would get me involved in their recruting (happened a few times at big banks) and then ghost me. When I really pushed for a follow up, they finally would tell me that they checked with HR and had no more interview spots before. You should follow up again if you don’t hear back in 1-2 more weeks, but I imagine that is what’s happening.
One other thing that may be happening is the conversation is too casual (that’s why it goes so long) or you are asking too directly about spots (hence they say they have openings), and then they get off the call and realize they don’t have any spots and ghost you. This happened to me one or two times on the other side where I had a super casual call with an incoming intern interested in my team, and then I realized after the call that it got a little too unprofessional and so I didn’t rank them as highly as I first thought. So make sure you are still keeping the calls professional/asking thoughtful questions.
Regardless, I would just keep at it - eventually you will speak with someone who does have a spot on their team and can get you involved.
Wow, thank you for the involved response! Can you delve into what you experienced with those calls that were too unprofessional?
Honestly think 4 is too small of a sample size to draw conclusions from. Need to raise the volume and if you still get the same results, then I’d start really rethinking your methodology.
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