How do you fart in IB?
Hey guys,
I work in a UMM IB (JEFF / Leerink / Stifel / RJ / Nomura) and currently am seated in a cubical. However I am looking to lateral and I'm afraid that other banks have a more open style seating arrangement.
Currently I'm able to rip one without anyone hearing (due to loud HVAC vents above me) or smelling (due to a cubical layout).
For those of you that have more open desk seating arrangements without dividing walls, how do you break wind without the person beside you smelling? I'm afraid I might be placed beside a cute analyst/associate and she/he will be repulsed by the swamp smell.
Thanks
TLDR, What's your farting situation and how do you do it undetected?
I tend to keep a ziplock baggie at my desk on the trading floor. Usually when I feel the gurgle I tend to fart in the bag and then immediately seal. Then I’ll bring it home and take a big huff later.
Kidding. Just go to the bathroom and let one rip
Yes that makes sense, although it sounds tricky having to apply the bag and ensure a tight seal.
But what if you need to rip multiple times? It seems unfeasible going to the bathroom constantly, especially if its far from your desk.
This but I try to capture other people’s farts and pleasure myself to them in the company restroom
(I am on strike two with HR)
Wait until you’re in a client meeting to let it out. It asserts dominance and showcases your confidence
Bump, really been struggling at this - couldn't find any guides. Thanks!
If I feel it’s a big one then I’ll go into my MD’s office and stand up on his desk, turn around, and let it rip to assert dominance.
Lowkey a valid concern
I agree with you! Wish others would give me advice on how to navigate this. It's impossible that I'm the only one ripping stinkies in the office.
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