I Hate my Life
I know you’ve all heard it before on this forum so I will try to keep it brief.
Hate where I am currently in life and feel so behind. I’m shit at being an analyst no matter how hard I try I always screw up and am too dumb to understand anything. Yeah, I went to a decent school with decent grades but just think I got lucky and I also worked super hard and had a pretty miserable college experience so missed out on all that.
Yeah I was broke in college but quite frankly still feel like I am. You can read the bolded below for more context. Not sure where else the money is going but after rent, expenses, and my outrageous student debt payment I have barely anything left maybe saving 1k a month which I think is pretty depressing knowing that I’ll have to do this forever to have a decent savings. No bonus is ever guaranteed especially with my performance apparently so I don’t even consider that and I don’t think I can’t even make it to then.
Then there was that net worth thread that was put up and I just felt like shit reading that. Even college students have more than me. I feel like I missed out on opportunities in crypto and even stocks look like shit and my 401k and ira has just lost money despite being in index funds. Have a feeling all you people that are so rich now from that thread and made all this money in the market and will just dump everything on me and leave me with a huge drawdown.
It get’s worse. I had so much Fomo and anger last few days that I decided to put everything I had saved so far including signing bonus (approx 20k) into a shitty crypto and scammed or whatever you call it. It’s all gone now like that was heartbreaking for me and made me perform even worse at the desk. Everything was so bottled up in me I felt like exploding
I’m just so burnt out now and feel like I just don’t want to continue this shit life. I know that in life is personal responsibility and all that and only I can take action to make it better, but the only way I see that being done is just quitting which I don’t think is rational and I also don’t want to throw away all work and debt that got me to this point. Also I would have to pay back a signing bonus with money I don’t have at this time.
Maybe I wouldn’t care so much if I had friends I could just blackout or whatever with on weekend night but I have pretty much no one in my life that cares about me.
Well that’s pretty much all doubt anyone reads this far or cares enough but I have nothing better to do and don’t want to check my email again for anything.
Dude I lost 500k I had saved years ago. You can make it back just be patient.
So let me get this straight. You put $20k into a shitcoin which somehow crashed to $0 under a matter of days? Regardless of the fact that you're retarded, not even the BSC shitcoins absolutely drop to $0 so quickly, so you are obviously exaggerating. Start by getting a grip holy shit
So you put $20k in a pajeet shitcoin, probably after looking at a chart on a website literally named Poocoin, and you expect any compassion? Bro even people in the crypto community would be making fun of you. How the fuck did you get into banking?
Jeez, can’t comment on OP’s situation but this jackass intern obviously know nothing about crypto. Look on the avalanche ecosystem right now rugs are being pulled left and right. He could have most certainly gone to zero instantly and not from some ‘poocoin’ that you allude to below. My best guess is it was one of the new DAOs or reflection tokens that are popping up all over AVAX. Volume is insane and the pumps are crazy. They are legit projects but whales dump them and rotate so quickly. I’ve made a ton myself personally from these trades last few days OP got caught on the other side of the trade. By the way, don’t be such an asshole to someone who obviously needs help you should be ashamed.
You on the spectrum motherfuckers are a problem in this business. You completely missed the point here cmon man
To OP - if the job isn’t a great fit thats ok. Find something else now that you have a good name on your resume, preferably in a city that may suit you better and can provide a lower cost structure. Imagine if you went to law school and racked up 300k in debt, or shit even dental school and racked up 300k in debts, only to go make 100k out the gate with a grim future. You are not in a bad position even though you may feel you are.
Look around at working for a company or industry you may like - there are some much nicer people that work at companies - they actually care about family time and not being an asshole 24 hrs day and attending industry conferences. My point is you’ve made it a lot farther already than you think, now find what you like to do and try to pursue. dont sweat the loans too bad, it’ll work out you just need a decent job that you can sustain.
on the net worth page, when I was in my early 20s, shit even late 20s I didn’t have jack compared to some of those posters and now I have one of the higher net worths for my age. But, none of that shit matters! I was happier in my 20s when I wasn’t worth dick and my wife liked me before I made good money so maybe she liked my dick and not my bank account?
Anyway I’m rambling but look man, you seem like a good dude. Practice some self compassion, don’t be so hard on yourself man. If your friend was in your situation you wouldn’t think he was done for, you’d be able to see that he’s accomplished plenty.
Choose light over darkness my friend, you are young and have potentially 60+ years ahead of you and you won’t be doing what you are doing today. All the best.
1. if you compare yourself to the luckiest people on Earth, then you'll always feel unlucky. people who posted on that net worth thread are among the luckiest people on Earth coming from wealthy American families going straight to high finance from undergrad. I'll tell you that like 90% of people in the world work until they die just to get by and pay for rent and food. go travel to south east Asia and you'll see people driving Tuk-Tuks and motorbikes 24/7 in horrible traffic breathing gasoline and risking their life (because the traffic has no rules) just to make $2 per day and pay for rent in their shack and basic groceries, while their sisters and cousins are getting sold in sex slavery. if you live legally in America/UK/Canada/Australia/New Zeland/rich European countries, you already won a huge lottery and you can't fucking complain. if you can live comfortable life in your 30s or 40s, you already have a better life than 90%+ of people in the world. consider life prior to that a necessary sacrifice. yes, some lucky people (luckiest 1% of the world) don't have to sacrifices their 10s and 20s, but 90%+ of the world sacrifices their whole life and never really have a chance to enjoy life, so appreciate that you can start enjoying your life since your 30s or 40s.
2. invest only in investments with fundamental value>market value. learning this lesson early on is great, even if it costs your $20k (it's a very small price to pay for this valuable lesson). btw, even if you invest in great investments with great fundamental value, you still might lose 30-50-70% - that's the nature of market, so don't invest what you need now, invest only if you can hold long-term (5+ years).
3. a lot of people don't have friends. NYC is full of lonely people. you can try to find friends or girlfriend, or just learn to enjoy your own company and your hobbies.