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August 31, 2026
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Put a scoreboard on the refrigerator door. Doesn't matter what the performance metric is, as long as you are around +10% ahead of him/her.
Put a large font sign somewhere near the house exit, like on the inside of the front door. Sign should read "IS THIS REALLY WORTH IT?"
Send an e-mail to your housemate every night: "I'm planning to cook. Will you be home for dinner?"
Hahahaha this is gold.
Brilliant. Two weeks ago our friend in PE sent him selfies of himself with models with the caption "They were asking about you". Rommate is recruiting at said PE firm so he just takes it
Replace a portion of his cocaine with talcum powder
This is hilarious.
I think you should post the speech by that one guy called "This is Water." It will either inspire him or make him feel like shit. Like his life sucks and has no meaning.
Just watched THIS IS WATER. Wow. Thank you for sharing it. Loved it.
You might want to post on your fridge these studies saying prolonged hours of sitting is worse for your body than smoking. They really plant a bomb deep inside my brain.
Just make sure he doesn't quit. Isn't that torture enough
Its all in good fun. I graduated a year early so I mentored him, which is how he got his IB job and how he is about to land the PE job. The jokes are more about making fun of the fact he has to finish his year to get his bonus when he knows he'll be off to the buyside soon-making it all the more painful
Change the speed of his mouse on his laptop
I burst out laughing
Change the excel shortcuts on his laptop using macros. Did this once to a friend where it made ctrl+z open a new window everytime. Kept thinking he was accidently hitting the wrong button. hilarious
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