67 Comments
 

Putin gives SVB ... Just still in the process of claiming to be "well-capitalized" with "peer-leading capital ratios".

 

Trying to think of someone for Polk.  But there are no banks that have higher deal flow than everyone else that people never talk about. 

I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done
 
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Andrew Jackson - Jefferies. Clawed back old bonuses just like America clawed back the native land we told them they could have.

Millard Fillmore - Credit Suisse. Presided over a bunch of problems, didn’t do anything, and those problems became way worse than anyone expected.

Evercore/Laz/CVP - Calvin Coolidge. Straight chilling, known for just kind of killing it.

Hoover - Lehman Brothers. Stood down amid a crisis of epic proportions, and left behind nothing but a gigantic mess to clean up.

JPM - FDR. Led the charge on bailouts that benefited both themselves and the country.

Lyndon Johnston - PJT Partners. Entered into its position by unconventional means, but made a name for themselves nonetheless.

Richard Nixon - Wells Fargo. Engaged in illicit activities that were unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but destroyed its reputation.

Morgan Stanley - Reagan. Crown jewel in their peer group, and did a lot for rich people’s wealth.

Bank of America - Bill Clinton. Had a meteoric rise despite coming from a weird ass part of the county.

Goldman Sachs - George Bush. Entered into an ill-advised war that cost a lot of money and tarnished its reputation substantially.

Citigroup - Barack Obama. Failed to implement a globalist agenda that worked better in theory than in practice.

Qatalyst - Trump. Fairly new to the scene, not everyone’s friend, but has proven effective at negotiation.

 

trump was way too unsuccessful *on his own terms* to be qatalyst. he did almost nothing with republicans controlling both houses of congress, the supreme court, and most state governorships. he wasted that two year window tweeting dumb (albeit hilarious) shit

imagine how different the world would look today if you put, say, ted cruz in that position

 

Only insofar as GS recently put a non-serious guy in charge who likes to party and fluff his image more than he likes to reflect the dignity of his station. Same guy also led the charge into populism/retail banking (Marcus) only to flop and walk it back big time a couple years later. 
 

That’s not what I think you meant but it’s what reality is.

Array
 

Ronald Reagan = Drexel Burnham Lambert. Crushed it in the 80s, still idolized by boomers and people who didn’t live through it. Involved in some sketchy shit as well, which the fans either approve of or do not remember.

Donald Trump = DB. Ambitious, but overall didn’t amount to very much. Image tarnished by several corruption scandals and other illegal activity. Lots of recent losses and now more or less leaving the business.

Richard Nixon = Credit Suisse. Solid for a long time, but destroyed itself through various unforced errors, scandals, and losses. Exited in disgrace.

Jimmy Carter = UBS. The butt of the joke/punching bag whenever they come up. Is it really deserved? Depends on who you ask, but probably.

Woodrow Wilson = Jeffries. Authoritarian, sucks overall. Very few redeeming qualities.

 

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