Is it appropriate to ask out a recruiter?

Currently an IBD analyst and there is this headhunter who I’m working with to help find me PE roles and I quite fancy her, she’s similar age to me (maybe 1 or 2 years older) and she’s really attractive.

would it be completely inappropriate to ask if she has a bf and ask her out for dinner / drink? How could I find out if she’s single and interested without being inappropriate?

Or would I lose my working relationship with her as soon as I try it with her? She’s a great headhunter that comes with great roles so I don’t want to lose her as a network.

13 Comments
 
Analyst 3+ in IB - Ind

Or would I lose my working relationship with her as soon as I try it with her? 

Yeah, even if you succeed and you two get together, will she continue working with you as a recruiter? If she has any sense she sees the possible compliance and legal complications that could bring. But I guess she might help you out unofficially and introduce you to her network

Array
 

Yeah exactly, and there is also the other side of things about what happens if it fails and she says no or has a bf then I've not only been turned down but also lost the network/recruiter. Any thoughts on how I could appropriately find out if she's single or interested? female recruiters tend to be quite flirty as part of their job so it's hard to tell if it's just them trying to butter me up or if they genuinely like me etc.

 

The most tried and true method is for you to take piece of paper out of your notebook and write: “Do you like me?” With boxes for yes and no. She can then slide you the note back.

Fool proof, bro.

 

Tough situation but i think it comes down to whether you value your possible job options vs your potential relationship with her. If i were you i would most definitely wait till after securing a job and then seeing if she would be down for drink. There’s so many fish in the sea, don’t fuck up your career cause you feel that you have something with someone who doesn’t even know you’re interested in her. 

 

It's a mirage, don't ever forget it. The thing to remember when it comes to headhunters is -- no matter how friendly, how flirtatious, how much of your friend they seem, they are not on your side. They're hired by Blackstone, or Point 72, or whomever, and the minute your interests are no longer in their clients' interests, they will side with them, every time. It's the Siren's call, Odysseus, put on your noise cancelling headphones and don't even think about asking them out.    

 

Suscipit temporibus laborum deserunt laudantium vel et. Neque voluptatem excepturi culpa dolores esse et sint voluptatem. Maxime earum quidem cumque consequatur animi. Quibusdam eos totam iste quae animi quia eveniet.

Illum aut adipisci et eius. Sint dolor voluptatem impedit ducimus quo facere eos. Enim eum voluptatem nemo aliquid rerum. Ab laudantium voluptas esse ipsa modi enim. Sit voluptatem eligendi illum magni sequi est.

Career Advancement Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Evercore 01 99.4%
  • Moelis & Company 01 98.8%
  • JPMorgan 01 98.2%
  • Guggenheim Partners 01 97.7%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Morgan Stanley 01 98.8%
  • Evercore 01 98.2%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.6%
  • Banco Santander 01 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Moelis & Company No 99.4%
  • Evercore No 98.8%
  • Morgan Stanley 05 98.2%
  • JPMorgan No 97.7%
  • BMO Capital Markets 12 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

June 2026 Investment Banking

  • Vice President (14) $434
  • Associates (43) $259
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (8) $210
  • 2nd Year Analyst (22) $179
  • Intern/Summer Associate (13) $156
  • 1st Year Analyst (75) $151
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (67) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
kanon's picture
kanon
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
98.9
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”