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This squarely an issue that should be brought up with HR. Beyond being creepy it’s just very inappropriate for the workplace.
Was the context of asking her out truly on a romantic / sexual basis? If he asked her to go to lunch it’s not super abnormal as analysts get 1:1 lunch or coffee with MDs top pick their brain about work, but if it’s some after work hours dinner/drinks invite then very much should be reported. He won’t “ruin” her it’s not 1986, after MeToo she’ll get all the support she needs if it even comes out to anyone else in the office.
Yes it was. My advice to her was to file a report to HR anonymously. And I can see why she’s worried about the power dynamic - check out Jamie Higgins book about GS and their other lawsuits if you’re curious. Sad stuff like this is happening in 2023 but I don’t know what else to say haven’t dealt with this as a guy.
This gets a bit tricky. If one of you reports this to HR, you have to make a moral and conscious decision as to whether you would be willing to corroborate what occurred in the room as it will drag you into this. I'd personally be willing to do it, but everyone has to evaluate that for themselves. Obviously this can blow up pretty quickly in the extreme situations where it proceeds to arbitration or court (note that in some states, with sexual discrimination cases ["protected classes"], plaintiffs can file for judgment in a public court even if all disputes between employer/employee are normally heard by arbitration per the employment agreement).
Also, understand that the obvious defense the MD would rely on that is he was simply asking her for a professional engagement outside of work. Judging that both you and her seemed to think that this situation implied something non-professional, one or both of you would need to remember the specific details that, in your mind, helped rule out it was simply a professional invitation.
She should definitely NOT resign. If she does bring this up to HR, and they terminate her in retaliation, she could be in a position to sue for a LOT of money.
Also, might be worthwhile for her to spend a few hundred dollars on a lawyer to get advice here too (i.e. what evidence she may be able to collect before reporting it that could lead to their destruction of internal documents etc.).
Yeah I agree with you she def should not resign. I told her to start documenting everything in the case the situation escalates and avoid being alone with him. HR can be a double edged sword sometimes so I asked her to double check about anon reporting. Mentioned lawyering up if things get really bad but know those cases - like there’s one at GS atm take decades and payouts aren’t guaranteed or necessarily fair. Thanks for your advice - it’s solid.
If the situation is untennable then she needs to go to Human Remains.
Now I usually don't recommend anyone go to Human Remains as they work for the company, not you. Especially if the HR team is just a protection / damage limitation function for seniors (*cough* Jefferies *cough*).
The success of her report will depend on her witnesses and her ability to corroborate the story. If it's a "she said, he said" situation then won't come to anything and she'll end up having to leave as her place will be effectively untenable.
Also balance this with the fact that people will find out you were involved. Consequently you won't be trusted by your peers. A snitch, whether right or wrong, is still a snitch.
Just a view from seeing similar stuff happen.
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