On-Cycle, IB Offers, Hair Splitting, Depression, and "The Path"

Every so often I check WSO and when the comment section gets too brutal, I realize I need to step up and write. It is now one of those times again. So WSO, welcome back your favorite anonymous poster who loves to bash this forum with perspective when it is needed most. Let's dive in. 

The Message Again: Careers Aren't Linear And You All Need To Relax.

While this forum is an amazing resource, it lacks frequent posts by older individuals. As a result, the advice and sentiment is often limited to those a few years out of school, which lacks a long-term perspective on careers. When I see posts talking about severe depression in PE/IB, suicidal thoughts, or extreme dissatisfaction and distress surrounding recruitment for PE/IB or choosing between offers, I just want to grab you guys/girls by the shoulders, shake you, and yell "Please talk to an older adult!" I suspect many of you aren't and you either don't have an older mentor to talk to about personal/work decisions, or you are bottling up your anxieties and fears and I want to help and give advice. For context, I've been through IB recruitment, PE recruitment, and disillusionment with work and for most these posts can relate heavily. Think of this post as the advice you 5-7 years in the future might give yourself today.

The Path, Non-Linear Careers, And The Perspective Lost:

2 years IB -> 2 years PE --> Top MBA --> ????

There is a path I suspect many of you are striving for and I want to break the thinking a little bit. This forum has extreme obsession over what I would argue is 6-7 years of a persons career when most people's career lasts 40 years and this is completely being ignored in the current rhetoric. The reason this is relevant is I think many of you are feeling the heat and the pressure of being on some artificial timeline and it's just that--artificial. Let's paint three paths:

Big 4/Corp Finance 1.5 Years --> Lateral to IB 2 Years ---> PE 2 Years --> MBA --> PE 10 Years 

IB 2 years --> PE 2 Years --> MBA --> PE 10 years

Do you think at year 10 in PE the individual who worked 1.5 years in big 4 thinks, "Wow, if only I had joined my PE firm 2 years earlier, everything would be different! My whole life was destroyed when I didn't get an IB offer out of school and now I am "behind" everyone by 2 years at 38!"  Or do you all think that the person who skipped on-cycle is distraught because they went to a PE firm 1 year later? No, almost no older people think like that.

Put another way, I want you each to look at the senior people you have worked with in your internships and fulltime roles--can any of you identify which of the MD's/partners are 2 years more senior than the other MD's/partners? Hell No! People, Robert Smith (founder of Vista) worked as a chemical engineer out of school. Mitt Romney took a 30 month missionary stint as a Mormon out of school and founded Bain Capital. 

You all are creating artificial timelines and manufacturing that missing on-cycle or getting your not ideal job right out of school has you "behind" or in a completely different league as others. It is easy to get lost in a rat race of measuring where you are every year with your peers, but come on! This is a longer game than 6 years! If you are determined enough, you can claw your way into many roles (even if it requires several job hops)

Your Personal & Professional Journey & Work Dissatisfaction:

IB: Again, as mentioned, I have been there. I remember in IB being in an empty office, looking at powerpoint logos and stupid comments, looking out the window, and thinking, "I want to jump out that window and hate everything about my situation right now." If this is you, it's time to get out and make a change. The industry wasn't for me and it was very obvious. Everyday I felt more numb and my hatred grew. So, I began plotting for how I would leave IB. I lined up a calmer role, bounced the second my bonus hit, and left. In retrospect, I don't regret sticking it out an extra 7 months for my bonus, but that might have been some of the more miserable months of my life. Few things are as soul sucking and depressing as having your entire life occupied by a role you don't like for a pay check. It is one thing to work 9-5 and hate your job, but to have your entire life occupied by a role that makes you miserable is really pretty hellish. It's different if you are in the learning stages of the role and find it hard, but you are learning a ton, versus if you are 7+ months in and just hate the job. If you are 7+ months in and you have an inkling of a feeling this career isn't right for you, you are probably right. It isn't. Plan a path to your exit. 

Post-IB: Everyone has their own path, and for me IB left me feeling horrible. I wanted my life back, so I found a role that required a 40 hour a week commitment. It was a 9 to 5 and we got off early on friday's. The crazy thing, after 4 months, I hated my job--it was slow, uninteresting, and I was bored. I realized while in IB I glamorized things like weekly drinks with friends, working out every day, joining rec leagues, and dating. But once I got a 40 hour a week job, I didn't have the desire to actually drink with friends every single day of the week. In fact, I learned really if I just was able to reserve one day a week, that seemed to make all the difference. Also, as much as I thought working out and rec leagues would make me happy, I realized I really didn't want to run two a-days as someone in my mid-twenties. This role taught me an enormous amount about myself and I don't regret it. I left after about 7 months and while different, I think I learned about as much about myself as I learned professionally in IB. I decided I didn't actually want a 40 hour a week job, I really wanted a job closer to 60-70 hours with the ability to say, "Hey guys, this Thursday my Mom is in town, so I'm going to be OOO post 5pm, glad to work later wed or on Friday to makeup for that"

From there I had to really work to get back into finance, but fortunately, a semi-decent opportunity came around and I was able to use that to bounce back into finance, I then found another role after that and eventually spun that it into my role now, which I love. The reason I bring this up is because that 7 month role, while some might view as a mistake, was one of the best things to happen to my career. Post that role, I have clarity on what work-life balance I want and I appreciate the fast paced nature and interesting material around me. Post that role, I had peace of mind knowing I now am where I should be which makes me significantly more effective, productive, and happier in my current role. I also know hard boundaries I need to set to love life, while still working a ton. Interestingly, I know people in seats next to me at my current firm who are burned out and about to lose it and I realize me slowing down at 24 was the key to being an all-star in my late twenties/early thirties. We have all heard the cliché of "It's a marathon not a sprint" but it's not a joke.

On Career Dissatisfaction:

Some of you also need to hear this: you are so beyond warped and lost in the sauce if you are thinking about harming yourself over a job it is unreal. Employers don't care about you. They are running a business. You need to protect yourself and they will run you into the ground if you let them. Do not let them. At times, this might mean making difficult decisions. Also, some of you need to acknowledge your limits and deal breakers. For some of you if IB or another job is leaving you suicidal or severely depressed or anxious, take stock of why you feel that way--they are limits and deal breakers and things to avoid in the future. It might be people treat you without respect and you need to work somewhere where people respect you, or it could be that the lack of sleep is killing your mental health and you need to find a role where they let you sleep 8 hours a night. The important thing is recognizing those deal breakers and learning from them, so that you can find a role that better aligns with what you want. There was a time where I thought I could be in the NBA. I'm now confident that won't happen and I am ok with that. Some of you need to recognize it is ok if you don't want to sleep 5 hours a night and get yelled at--most people don't want that life and most people have highly successful lives with better career and life satisfaction who don't have that in their work environment. 

What is the wrong thing to do, is not learning from your experience and harming yourself because your employer isn't looking out for your interests. Along with this, some of you need to know this play that I have seen many people use over the years:

Call your manager/staffer and have this discussion:

"Manager, I am at a breaking point. I need a week to revaluate whether I can stay here long term. Otherwise, consider this my notice. I understand this isn't great, but I am at my limit and equally disappointed as you are."

Almost all firms will give you a week and during that week you can collect your thoughts, call mentors, and evaluate whether this is the right role for you. If you genuinely are about to harm yourself, do this immediately, and get help ASAP. I promise it will workout--I have worked with numerous coworkers in finance who have had this conversation, came back after a week, and resumed their employment and everyone forgot about the incident. Your life is worth more than an employer trying to juice you for all you are worth.

Hair Splitting

As people begin to make on-cycle decisions and IB internship decisions, there is this temptation to take stock of internships and roles and treat them as rankable and extremely deterministic. As mentioned, because careers are so long, the back end of your career is very non-linear, and lateraling is common and happens often, my favorite analogy that I will die on the hill of is many jobs are like colleges. If you land that GS/Blackstone/Centerview offer congrats! It's like getting into Harvard. A perfect storm of preparation, natural skill, and luck has given you a great opportunity. You might even have some opportunities that others don't have.

However, let's be very clear--I had a math teacher in highschool who went to Harvard and he loved to feed birds and teach highschool sophomore math. I am certain state school kids have had more impactful and financially prosperous careers than him. Much in the same way, don't doubt that a big 4 individual or someone who ended up in chemical engineering can't have a more prosperous career than someone who started their career at Goldman Sachs. 

But perhaps more importantly, you guys are arguing and distressed over banks and perceived deal flow when basically everything on this forum is like debating between going to Duke versus Cornell or Notre Dame versus Michigan--virtually any of these jobs puts you in a position to lateral to anywhere if you are determined enough. Further, any of these jobs offer an unreal first job with exposure to finance that most people never even get close to.

As an additional hair splitting comment, I'm lucky enough in my career to have done transactions ranging from tiny Series B raises all the way to multi-billion dollar buyouts--they aren't that different. Take stock of this when evaluating opportunities--your world isn't defined by working at a bank or PE firm that does the biggest deals. Shit many people have created entire institutions targeting smaller transactions. 

On-Cycle Advice

Recruit or don't it really doesn't matter and isn't worth losing sleep over. You need to know--any decision you make isn't really final. If you recruit, land a role, and hate it, you can leave within a year. If you don't recruit, those same firms will come knocking and you likely will make a better impression the next year and have stronger relationships at your current bank by staying longer. Heck, you might even be able to recruit a year late, then quit your IB job 6 months into your 3rd year, travel for 6 months and start at the PE firm fresh and ready to kick ass. I doubt that path is one you would regret when you are 40. Also know--the early nature of this year's process obviously is setting up many firms to pursue off-cycle opportunities, so there likely is going to be numerous high-quality at-bats throughout the year.

Further, much like IB, people leave PE positions all the time and offices expand, so off-cycle opportunities are more plentiful than you might think. One of my biggest surprises in IB was the number of crazy cool opportunities that seemed to come my way post on-cycle. Don't sweat this one and recognize you are in this for the long con, it will work out.