Please help - Recommender asked me to write my own rec letter
Guys, I could really use some advice here…A former internship supervisor said he’d be glad to write a rec letter for me (for MSF), but asked me to write it out for him (and he’ll paste it in online). He’s always been the helpful-but-busy type, so I’m not surprised. He liked me, thought I did a great job, and told me if I ever needed a rec to ask him (though I’m sure he doesn’t explicitly remember that). The internship was 4.5 months long and was ~2 years ago at a small, collegial shop (VC/PE/IB/HF). I’m wondering:
1) How positive/gushing should I be? E.g., for “what are his/her weaknesses?” can I say “Johnny is an outstanding, well-rounded individual, so it is impossible for me to pick out a particular weakness. Johnny excels in all areas…blah blah blah.” He’ll have the final say, but won’t want to have to edit my writing much/at all.
2) Is it acceptable to add details, stretch the truth, or partially make up a scenario? 3 questions are absurdly specific, e.g. “ describe a time when he/she showed critical thinking and leadership skills in leading a team project to completion”…I did some research and light modeling, but there’s no way I can answer that without adding some BS.
How should I handle this? And has this happened to anyone else? Thanks to anyone with insight!!!
1) I'd say definitely be positive, but don't say something like "it is impossible for me to pick out a particular weakness," because to me that just sounds like utter bullcrap. Think of it like an interview question. I'd definitely note a development point that makes sense / is appropriate.
2) Here I would be more comfortable in getting creative. Again, think of what would pass in an interview.
my manager did the same thing
Have a friend write it for you. Give him/her some bullet points to address. The adcoms might be able to pick up on your writing style and realize that you wrote your own.
Dude wants to help you out, so let him. Write the most glowing report you can. Don't swing from your own nutsack, but give him the opportunity to say "I don't feel comfortable writing this" or "this is too much". Recommendation letters are always going to be taken with a grain of salt, so someone gushing over you really isn't that big of a deal. Focus on the image you want people to have of you and then tailor your skill set and experience around that ideal.
chron3k - #1 doesn't sound right to me, not b/c I don't want to hear it, but b/c the typical interview question of giving a "small" weakness but saying how you're improving on it would not make sense...like Midas said, be glowing and let the reccomender say no.
monty - how'd that work out?
ke18sb - I don't think the schools are going to analyze my essays and letters side by side, looking for similar writing styles. Even if they looked similar, I don't think they'll suspect anything. Not really worried about that.
Midas - That's what I want to hear, ha! And that last sentence was really sharp advice, thanks.
Anyone else have any thoughts?
dude write it and be 100% positive. Do not include any weaknesses. Dont say "i cant think of any weaknesses" just dont mention weaknesses at all.
...to add a personal experience....when i was right out of college i worked in the back-office and i had a yearly review. I was one of the top of the class and so my boss said "why dont you fill out the review form yourself and give it back to me so I can have a starting point". The form had strengths and weaknesses on it. Like an idiot I thought hard and came up with some weaknesses to add. So when my final review was given to me my boss had just taken my review and copied and pasted it. No big deal except the next year when i was trying to switch jobs within the firm my "balanced/realistic" review was in my file and it was not 100% glowing and it hurt my chances.
Lesson: When you have a chance to define yourself do not EVER include weaknesses even if they are realistic weaknesses. Maybe in an interview when you are asked specifically but thats it.
On that note, would it be OK to answer by saying "see previous question" if a subsequent question was pretty similar? There's 2 absurdly specific questions and I can't think of answers for both without BS-ing. I don't see how a MSF expects internship recommenders to remember so many past events so explicitly.
And good call, Bondarb, thanks.
swagon - I'm not trying to be overly paranoid but I've read a lot of admissions consultants recommendations and that is a point that is constantly brought up. Maybe it is different for MSF but for bschool that is what they say.
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