Roast My Resume

Hi I used to review CVs as part of a team for a bit because my HR was away on holiday so here's my two cents (it was for a small boutique so take my comments with a pinch of salt):

• As an SA, it's better to just keep each transaction to 1 line. As far as I am aware, selected transaction experience applies if you were a FT. So, I'd just summarise it as one line and just say the task you did. 
• That puts another thing into context: for the sweet love of all that's holy, keep your lines to 1 line at most. Do not think to do 2 or more lines for 1 bullet point. It's a bullet point, not a paragraph!
• Your undergrad experience at the top for education should not include activities and interests. This is standardised in 99% of CVs so you need to do that too. 
• Where are the numbers? I can tell you for sure after speaking to a BB HR that numbers are what brings the CV to life, not the words. How big was the deal? How many people did you work with? Give me some numbers!
• What pitches did you do? Saying you did pitches is like me saying I made a cake but it doesn't tell me how difficult the job really was. 
• No one cares about Python for IBD. Maybe for S&T, yes you definitely need it. I get the impression you are applying to IBD so why mention it?
• Your interests are... unusual. You give me too much of a finance bro impression by saying "The Big Short" watched 5x. Why? It makes me less want to work with you. If you say something unique like "theatre" or "opera", I might consider you interesting since I'm also interested in learning more about that stuff. Football is fine and I definitely like wingsuit flying, so keep those last two points. 
• You need to make your CV look better and structured more consisely. I don't like this font... is it Garamond? I hate it. Stick to Arial or Times New Roman. 
• You should not need to have two levels of bullet point indentation: it indicates you are inefficient with the way you communicate your experience to me. 
• Another thing: if you were selected for an extracurricular role, a good show is to mention how many people applied and how many you beat. It shows how you were above the competition and gives me an idea of how competitive this role was. You might have just applied as 1 of 3 or even just created your own role. If it was, say... 1 out of 50, then I might think this person has some credibility. 

Make those changes and good luck!