Self Worth Taking a Hit (Need Help)

That your self-worth is taking a hit suggests that you had a decent sense of it before this (can't speak to the mental health aspect bc everyone's different there). Every rejection is someone's opinion that you aren't right for the position.

What helped me through the process was taking every negative remark/result and mentally replying with "yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man." Only you know your situation and what you're capable of. I could see if you were setting unrealistic expectations given your stats/background or you need to improve something in your strategy, but once those are taken care of then it's just a numbers game. It takes a lot of luck, but you only gotta get lucky once.

You mentioned "a firm," singular. With how competitive this game is, you need to be casting as wide a net as possible. I once had a networking call with a guy that told me that my resume was too weak for banking while I already had two superdays at similar/larger banks lined up. I knew I had a shot at an SA position so I just took that opinion with a grain of salt. If YOU know that you can succeed, take everyone's opinion as just that, an opinion.

Your self-worth takes a hit only when you’re in school and applying just for internships. when you’re out in the real world and the pressure to survive is really on, you quickly learn to ignore the hit to your ego or whatever and focus on doing whatever it takes to make sure your wallet and socioeconomic status do t take a hit. so suck it up and you’ll be fine. good luck

You should view this as getting rejected at the bar. At first it sucks but after getting rejected from 3000 others from various social, economic and ethnic backgrounds you realize that you simply can't control what other people think of you which leads to desensitization and then ultimately a breakthrough as you tend to focus less on the externals and more on the internal aspects which encourages greater focus, drive and a multitude of other benefits that were not previously available. Keep on grinding, take a look at the top guys in the industry and realize that very few people hit a home run on the first pitch.

in the same spot as you man. sometimes you gotta realize that you can do everything right and things just won't go your way. keep at it and you only need 1 person to say yes.

u chillin

Like other users said, it is a numbers game. Keep hustling, networking, and keeping your chin up. I got rejected from every place except for a top BB for IB. One thing I would tell myself back then is to expand my net into other top career paths such as research or trading. I was very close to not getting anything.

I started thinking about IB start of junior year and it took me three years, including taking time off to intern, to land the job I got out of school (and really wanted). So that's three years of questioning my self-worth, resenting that I started too late, feeling like I can't balance everything (how do you catch up on technicals + start networking for the first time ever + deal with upper level coursework + etc... all at the same time?), and most importantly, incrementally improving myself so that I could find a way to where I wanted to be. Keep going, you'll land something for 2021 SA even if it's not the gig you really want yet, and that's another step toward where you want to go. And I think you should give yourself a pat just for having already taken so many steps.

I worked as a door to door sales person for four days then executive assistant for six months where I had to deal with shit every day. a mediocre bank kept asking me for interviews and I went because I didn’t have many options. they interviewed me 4 different times for 2 different positions and still rejected me. I got rejected so many times from places I would hate to work for. then out of the blue, I get a call about IB position and they take me. it gets better. just be persistent.

Most of us have been there. I spent months unemployed after graduating having actually turned down a great FT IBD offer to risk an internship that didn't pan out.

Despite a strong CV, it took a lot of hustle, rejection and self-reflection (and painfully readjusting my expectations) until I got lucky and finally landed a top job in consulting instead. A lot of it is down to hustle, numbers and luck. Focus on what you can control - targeting places you truly want to work, practising interview skills etc. but quite importantly....look after yourself. Health is wealth. You need to be mentally strong, happy with your overall balance in life and physically fit to perform well in the interviews you will eventually get.

And, remember, only YOU know your worth. Who gives a fuck if everyone else says you aren't good enough. You're young so I get it but don't let it affect you. I'm as pedigreed as it gets - top university (in the world), top brand names, MF PE blah blah blah. Yes, you need to be smart and work hard. But there are so many of us lucking it out along the way and still trying to figure shit out. Many are insecure, which is what drives them, and ultimately IB is not the only path to success in life. In fact, many or even most PE / IB folk are in absolute awe of entrepreneurs (of all backgrounds and types), seasoned industry operators who actually run businesses, hell even mediocre celebs / stars that have made decent buck whilst having fun and not grinding away in their 20s and 30s. These people came from many walks in life and faced constant rejection at numerous points in their careers (this is true of many top financiers too).

So please, hustle as much as possible (contact people via Linkedin, leverage your network, be open to new roles and lower tier institutions), and in the mean time find other ways to enrich your life - entrepreneurial pursuits, hobbies etc. You will realise, as you grow older, that other people's opinions become irrelevant as you become more comfortable with yourself and your own mortality (as dire as that sounds, if you think about the insignificance of our lives and what you'd want to reflect on on your deathbed, then these insecure comparisons in this forum and industry - on preffftige, banks, money - which reinforces the insecurity that reduces your happiness, becomes meaningless). Mental health and an understanding of your identity drives happiness, in the long run, not a stint in IB.

Ask yourself whether it’s realistic that someone who’s smart, driven and hardworking is going to be unsuccessful over the long run. Possible? I suppose. Realistic? no.

The reason some people believe that they could be left behind is that they believe in this myth of “the path”. Like you need to enter IB first, then PE, then HBS/Stanford and so forth. Like that’s the only path to success, or even a common one. It’s neither.

That path has been around a long time and yet you look at anyone in the 35-55 year old age group who you want to be some day . . founders, CEOs, top bankers, star hedge fund managers etc . . and very few of them followed that path. And those who did, would probably tell you they didn’t have to.

Hi there OP,

Don't give up! Success is from constantly pushing and taking little steps to get to where you want to everyday. I didn't even know about IB until literally my junior year and I wanted to join an investment banking club. The people in there all knew that wanted to do it way longer than I did and the people running it were super harsh on me. Even after being in IB, it doesn't get easier on learning to accept rejection and move on. PE recruiting is insane, too.

Just keep going and take it as a learning process. Good luck! Life is a journey. Embrace it.

I'm in the exact same boat. They say you can do it from a non-traditional route and hit you with a million rejections :(

OP it doesn't get easier. Rejection is like working out a muscle at a gym. Only with the right mindset will you be able to handle rejection better and eventually not let it phase you at all. I smile and giggle a bit after a rejection, and then I move on. Of course, if I get rejected from something I really wanted I think about it for a bit longer, but then I move on.

The way you're taking rejection will affect how you handle rejection from women too, so don't take this personally, it's all a numbers game.

Dude, banking can be done by a brain-dead monkey with Aspergers. Not getting an offer there is truly a blessing as you can find another profession where you actually exercise your mind

I completely agree with the above posts - dont let SA rejections get you down. Banking is massively overrated... it favors those that are unimaginative and follow a plug and play path. A lot of the people on this site overemphasize the importance of a 10 week internship...a 10 week internship at Goldman or not will not dictate a 40 year career. Sure it will be an easier path if you start with the former, but realistically who cares about a SA position in the long run? Investment banking is not the only way to riches, if anything it is the path of an aspiring middle class. Keep trying your best and you'll end up with something great!

Just wanted to add onto what most people said and say that every process at every bank is different. Take it bank by bank and definitely cast a wide net to increase your chances. When I recruited, I performed terribly during networking/interviews at some banks, but the good news is that there is a shit ton of banks out there that you have chances at. Don't let negativity affect your confidence especially at this time.

Rejection isn't personal. And it doesn't mean you're not smart or worthy. If you're doing all the right steps - reaching out to upperclassmen, doing mock interviews, being relaxed and yourself while networking, studying your technicals, there's not much else you can do. Trust me, a lot of peers like to talk like they know shit but they don't. If you think you're unprepared, self-awareness is the first step. And trust me, there are a lot of arrogant 19/20-year-olds who don't know what equity value is but are walking around confident they're going to land a GS offer. I can tell from this post that you are extremely self-aware and that is a huge advantage. Use it towards working hard and studying.

Lastly, at the end of the day, don't let any self-doubt prevent you from trying your hardest. I would rather try than not try at all. Even if you don't get an offer, it's not the end of the world. Banking isn't that great anyway.