Slapdick VP Loser
Context is important here -- I work at the most slapdick "investment bank" of all time. Its not even really an investment bank by any traditional sense other than the fact we lead M&A processes for lower middle market businesses. I'm an associate and deadass work like 40 hours a week. Make like $150k all in which is miserable for banking but good given the context. We all went to shitty schools and are douchebags.
Now, we have a VP that we hired from some healthcare debt shop, and he is actually a cancer. Stupid as hell, fat, super insecure, sucks bossman's dick til its dry, and says big words to try to compensate for the fact that he is a fat retard. Luckily, I've managed to convince the senior guys that I'm a workhorse because I tried hard in my first year, so they generally let me circumvent this dipshit (deal teams are me, an analyst, and director).
We had a "real deal" come across our desk (~$100mm of EBITDA), and I got staffed on it. After the CIM was built (100+ pager), this dickweed managed to slither his fatass into the deal team after giving the MD an OTPHJ (over the pants handjob). I circumvented him straight to the MD on some stuff and he threw a hissy fit.
I guess my ask is this -- do real investment banks have straight up retards in VP positions? This guy has been here for years and literally never closed a transaction nor has he sourced anything, and he is hated by all. Do I just sack up and fight this fucking kid?
Yes and yes
strike him on sight
He is an A2A promo
Yup - my VPs in banking were mostly idiots. Good opportunity to practice navigating politics
I simply am not hating hard enough. Thank you for inspiring me. I will be worse to those around me whom I wish to endure calamity
Godspeed good sir.
Your tantrums will only mean much to the team if you are an attractive woman
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