I suppose the title is bespoken for :). Last week I had just finished and was going to wash my hands. At that moment the stall adjacent to the faucets opened and a woman was coming towards the sink. We each made contact with a puzzle expression. Internally, I freaked thinking I accidentally went to the women's restroom when another guy came through. Horrified, she quietly exited, leaving both myself and the guy with the same confused expression. Certainly nothing of egregious proportion, though interesting nonetheless. Would love to see if anyone else has bizarre stories to tell of.
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Restrooms are a sub-culture on their own. Having worked for consultancies most of my life, I have seen a variety of eccentric bathroom innovations.
What you might have experienced could be a unisex toilet.
other funny things I came across: - During soccer world championships many clients had the goal mats installed in their pissoirs - One company in Asia had a LCD screen light up when the user was able to "focus" on a specific area
The best restrooms I have seen were at a private banking client and we were on a client floor. Marble & stone design, high CRI LED down lights, with human restroom attendants! Unbelievably posh.
Did you just assume their gender??
I'm triggered AF!
Friday afternoon I walk into the men's room as an intern was walking out, he goes "Hey SL55! Are you grabbing drinks with everyone after work?" So, I say yeah, I am. And I noticed he's now coming back into the men's room with me. I'm like.. uhh this was a bad move by him. I'm at the urinel and he keeps talking to me but I want to make him pay for his mistake--make sure he doesn't do anything this illogical again. So I finish pissing but I just stand there for well over 60 seconds in silence. He eventually goes, okay dude see you later.
It was such a power move I actually liked it.
Ha Ha now that's hilarious...though I'm a tad bit disappointed that you didn't establish true dominance. You should have outstretched your arms in front of you and placed them against the immediate wall, made loud grunts, and locked eyes. That would have showed him who was boss ;P
I disagree, he should have turned around and faced towards him before finishing
When me, a dude, am taking a shit on a rather late evening at work just burning the midnight oil. There I am letting my burrito in its new form exit my body, when the Mexican female janitor starts to enter the bathroom to clean it before she leaves. What do I do? I start coughing profusely, flush the toiler three times (get some water up my pooper), start shaking the paper towel dispenser, all in an attempt to let the chick now there is a dude taking a shit in the bathroom and she should probably head back to the hallway and wait to clean the sinks/urinals later. After my obnoxious and obvious creations of noise, I assume the coast is clear and that she got the message. I proceed to rip a couple hiroshimas out of my ass hole into the toilet, then clean myself up. I exit the stall and what do you know! There is the old Mexican lady standing in front of me, as she had finished cleaning the rest of the bathroom and waiting for me to be finished to wipe up the remants of feces that the flush didn't get. Had to respect the no fucks that were given by that woman as she just wanted to get back home.
A guy in the stall next to me was sitting down to shit but after he finished he stood up and turned around, with his pants around his ankles, and started pissing. I still have no idea why someone would do that.
If your dong is big enough, you have to hold it up while shitting or throw it across your thigh to keep it out of the water. Dude probably staggers his shit/piss like that because he's got a Pringles can between his legs.
Good to know, the best explanation I could come up with was that maybe he thought his log would clog the toilet so he was pissing on it in an attempt to break it up.
We share a floor with a wealth management firm, and their guys apparently live on an exclusive diet of black coffee and street-cart Indian food. Every day is a new adventure in sights, sounds, and smells.
That's impossible. Women don't go number two.
Worst one was when some dude in a stall rips a massive fart (the kind that resonates off the walls). Ops dude a larger, bodybuilder black guy is washing is hands and belts out "Wooo! Dat Ass be talkin shit!"
There was this one instance where this guy finished washing his hands in the restroom and was looking for a paper towel to dry them. Unfortunately, the paper towel dispenser was empty so he proceeded to dry his dripping wet hands by rubbing them on his head, face and neck in sort of a lathering motion (no comment). It is worth noting that there was an air dryer literally right next to him AND he could've also just used his shirt or the back of his pants, but he decided to do what he decided to do.
I grew up in a small town where nothing much of interest ever happened. Can't believe I'm about to share this, but one day when I was in middle school, I was in the restroom avoiding detention when I heard this animalistic noise. I put my head low to the ground to peer upside down under the stalls, and there was this - thing - kind of like a dog, or a slug, but a much stranger thing, in a way I just couldn't place. It suddenly turned to look at me and let out an unearthly scream. I dropped my 3 Musketeers bar and bolted for the doors, never looking back.
Had a summer stint in corpdev, saw a banker on our deal team furiously eating through an orange - peel and all - whilst taking a piss in between meetings. Every time he'd hit a seed, he'd spit it into the urinal, eventually leaving a small heap on the urinal cake.
Thus is my lasting impression of JPM.
I strongly hesitated to even click on this thread.......
I shoulda gone with my first instinct :(
Experienced all the classics:
As a side note, for all the pretence about suits, looking smart, client service, being proper etc. in banking, I have NEVER seen worse toilets than in investment banks (in terms of what people do/leave in there).
During an internship I was washing my hands when a director walks in, sees all stalls are taken and waits around. Then an analyst who had just started before me (so was new) walks out and just straight up looks at the director like HA HA. The director really needs to go and asks the analyst whether it is "safe in there". The analyst says yeah for sure, but we could already smell it was not safe at all. The director walks in and straight up just starts screaming the guys name. This analyst instead of just reacting awkwardly or saying sorry straight up just starts laughing his ass off pissing off the director even more. Then he is sitting the table next to me and the director walks in 10 minutes later, tells the dude that the stall was NOT fucking Ok, it smelt like a biological weapon and he should never pull that shit again. The kid still has not said a word about the event and just straight up begins to laugh at the director again. The director looks at me like wtf and asks the kid what is wrong with him, still just laughter and he leaves. The kid was let go a year after that do to fit issues.
There's one I forgot about a the gym.
Not "strange".....but I remember one time when a dude ran into a stall, dropped onto the seat hard, and then lets out a shit so explosive that you can literally, loudly hear the sound of shit slamming against the back toilet. It sounded like the dude let out a chocolate basketball in the space of a half second.
The entire locker room goes completely silent for a few seconds and then bursts out laughing.