Think I'm fucking up my analyst years
I’m a second-year analyst at a pretty reputable bank. Studied CS and math in college and lateraled into my current group about 8 months ago. Honestly feel like I’m shitting the bed at my job despite working a ton of hours and trying my best.
I feel like I’m constantly making mistakes or not meeting expectations. One thing that really frustrates me is being told to be proactive and take ownership of things, but when I actually do that and get something wrong, I get shit for not knowing what I’m doing or not asking first. But then if I ask too many questions, I’m not being independent enough.
Same thing with trying to be efficient. If I rush something, I make mistakes, but if I take my time to check everything, I’m too slow. I feel like I can never really win.
The weird thing is I’ve actually gotten pretty neutral to positive reviews, so I genuinely can’t tell if I’m doing fine and just being too hard on myself or if I’m actually underperforming. And, comparing myself to top bucket analysts makes me know that I have zero idea what I'm doing sometimes. They just have the intuition to know every mext step, and the day-to-day feedback makes me feel like I’m terrible at my job.
I will say I’ve definitely improved since starting. Six months ago, I don’t think I could’ve gotten through a deal process without a ton of guidance from my associate. Now I feel like I actually could. So I know I’m learning, but I still feel like I’m constantly falling short of what’s expected of me.
I’m starting to wonder if I’m just not that smart or naturally suited for this kind of work. I feel like other analysts pick things up much faster than I do. Part of me wonders if I’d be better off doing something more technical given my CS background.
Has anyone else gone through something similar early in their career? Did things eventually click, or did you realize banking just wasn’t for you? I have a PE offer but honestly thinking about jumping ship from the industry. Genuinely looking for advice because I’m starting to question my career choices.
There has been a lot of discussion on this form about how there's less junior talent than there used to be. Without opining on that directly, I will say that most mid-levels and seniors at least believe this to be true, whether or not it is. So they probably think everyone in your class isn't very good; they're probably not just picking on you.
But at least you're one of the ones willing to work hard. Trust me, that's better than most. Keep a good attitude, ask questions, and over time you'll keep developing the "check in for clarification" vs "take initiative independently" sense. Can't opine on finance vs opportunities elsewhere, but if you're landing somewhere in the "too insecure for finance" world.. you're in the right place already.
In my opinion mid-level/senior bankers will sometimes be a little harsh when giving directions or feedback, but I would typically just say it’s either A) They’re stressed or B) putting extra pressure gets more work out of you.
Don’t take it personally, just keep giving it your best and you’ll be good. The fact that you’re posting on here shows you care; you’d be surprised as to how many people don’t care and try to get by with the bare minimum.
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