Useless associates
I hate the associates I work with. Why are you sending me snips of a powerpoint you have open asking me to realign something when I already did the entire deck and all the supporting analysis? Are you incapable of making direct edits yourself? Is your only value giving me BS comments saying let's change this? Why are you giving me comments that we both know the MD will not comment on? BTW - MDs and VPs on my team make direct edits, it is ONLY the associates that are this useless filler. Seriously, I am going to stop responding to stupid comments. From now on I am going to pretend I did not see your useless comments. Go fuck yourself - sincerely, fed up analyst
Put the slides in the bag, lil bro
Hey — I’m your associate. I didn’t check any of your numbers (and frankly I couldn’t if I wanted to), but I noticed the footnote font sizes on pages 7 and 8 are inconsistent. You really need to work on your attention to detail. That’s something they drilled into us at Cornell Johnson, an Ivy League business school.
No further value-add comments from me for now, but I’ll circle back at 11:56 p.m. with some urgent color changes to a few appendix slides. Please turn those tonight so I can review first thing tomorrow.
You have no idea how accurate of a representation this is of my life. I hate associates
I used to hate the ass’s until I became an ass myself
I make like 50% more as an ass than the anals while working 50% as hard.
On the last turn (v12, saved down 6:43pm) I said "hey the VP on this gets real persnickety about stuff being aligned so just make sure to align stuff. Kind of the only thing he checks lol" and you said "ya ya boss" and went back to scrolling. 4 hours later (the edits would have taken me 40 minutes but the seniors say I need to "help you along more") you sent me the new draft (also v12) and when I flip from slide 4 to slide 5 the title moves about a quarter inch diagonally. So yes I can fix this myself but when I go for a walk tomorrow with the VP he's gonna ask how you're doing and I'm gonna sigh really loudly and he's gonna laugh and then you will get a mid bucket bonus (it is fucking November btw)
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