One of my buddies who is an SA at a notorious sweatshop in NYC - think Lazard/GS FIG/MS M&A/Moelis/JPM M&A/BAML HC - got an e-mail from his associate staffer with the following poem this morning...Cruel or funny? How would you react? Quit? Report to HR?
Wakey Wakey Rise and Shine No more sleep ITS EXCEL TIME
| +160 | As Lehman people reconvene at UBS, Barclays needs to hire (2023) | 23 | 6h |
| +126 | Is pay at BofA really that bad? | 62 | 2h |
| +88 | Day at Macquarie | 12 | 23h |
| +57 | Worlds Worst MDs Competition (2026 Edition) | 11 | 35m |
| +45 | How bad did I mess up | 10 | 1d |
| +44 | Is the life of a VP at a 'top-bank' really good? | 15 | 3d |
| +31 | Misrepresented Houston IB | 14 | 1d |
| +29 | No BB RO 2026 | 10 | 2d |
| +28 | JPM SMALL CAP or WF/JEF/RBC Coverage group | 13 | 20h |
| +24 | T(ouse)D Securities | 9 | 2d |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
It's excel time over beer
Or your body is mine to sear
Through Excel you shall shine or on the street you'll dine. You have to get these pivots right or your a$s is mine tonight. You have to learn your models or you're out collecting bottles.
I'll blame the sloppy flow on the heat.
Dignissimos perspiciatis provident iusto explicabo molestias ut quis quis. Autem error sed deserunt cupiditate.
Tempore est et provident amet numquam quis ut voluptatem. Alias sed sunt reprehenderit. Placeat neque autem totam maiores commodi impedit tempora.
Inventore quidem ipsum cum voluptas quo ea. Rerum quasi vel qui nemo eum ullam temporibus. Libero neque ipsum aut enim recusandae voluptatem consequatur. Earum labore officia enim ea et sit. Aut fugit quo ullam maiores.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...