WTF do investment bankers actually do
I'm a senior in high school have great ECs, GPA, perfect SAT score etc.. I come from a middle class family so money is a big thing. One day I watch American Psycho and I hear that Patrick Bateman is an invesment banker and makes a lot money. I get excited and get infatuated with the NYC Yuppie lifestyle. So throughout high school I start grinding trying to get into a "Target" University and now looking back. After all this research I still don't understand wtf IBs do. I get the M and A and IPO part, but for what seems like such a menial task why do they get paid so much? Why is it so stressful etc.. I'm starting to think IBs are just an over-glorified sales/accountant blend typa guy. Fr tho if your currently working in IB how does your day look like and why tf do you work for so long.
Here's what my day to day looks like as an FT Partners analyst (140k base btw):
9am - Wake up to 2 blond chicks and a hot (but in a Willem Dafoe kind of way), older gentlemen still snoozing in bed after a tremendous foursome the night prior.
10am - Roll up to the office in the company car, checking my emails along the way.
noon - Ski some slopes.
1pm - Lunch at Mangia with the goons.
9pm - Head back home, feed the cat.
where tf do I sign up
That menial task is the shit what enables companies like Apple to grow to 2.7trillion in market cap. Stressful bc there's huge amounts of money involved. Long hours because you need to either a) move the company logo exactly 1.45pixels to the right because or b) you used HEX#fcfafa instead of HEX#fcfafb on the background and the VP sends you a "Pls fix. Sent from my iPhone" email at 2 am. Accountants have even worse jobs and sales don't really start until you're a VP in IB. Of course all this changes as you move up - VPs, MDs, etc are much less legwork focussed and can get paid multiples of some people's yearly salary every quarter.
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