Applying to GS...how'd I do?

So I was applying to GS for a summer analyst internship and then I find out I have to write 300 words about why investment banking? Why Wall St? blah blah blah

I'm not from a target school, so I figured I might as well have fun with it. Am I doing it right?

"It was a hot August day in Jacksonville, Florida, but this was no ordinary day. It was the first day of school. I was in third grade. I swaggered into class, ready to tell that cute girl from last year how I had swindled my parents out of double milk money. The double milk money line was a classic. Much to my chagrin, there was already a young man talking to her, but he was not one of the lowland simians I was used to competing with. Instead, he was the one with the brass necked temerity to wear a bespoke suit and shoes to class. Perhaps it was his effervescent cologne, or maybe his natural charisma, but all the ladies swooned when their names left his lips. He was, Antonio. For the next years, Antonio made my life a living, loveless hell. I vowed that somehow I would exact my revenge on him, and I did.

Every day, I added a few more dollars to the milk money stash. In 2008, I had saved enough money to put my plan into action; I went to Bloomingdale's, and bought a nice suit. I had business cards printed, with "Investments Manager" printed as my title. I went to where Antonio's father worked. I introduced myself, saying one of his clients had referred me to him. He welcomed me with open arms and we began to talk about his portfolio; I said one phrase that put the nail in his coffin: "Financial institutions are going to be hot in the next few years."

I remember seeing Antonio at a graduation party, I looked him up and down and remarked, "Didn't get a second fitting for those rags, I see."

I loved this, and I'd like to bring these talents to Goldman Sachs."