I genuinely hate coffee chats so much

I am a sophomore at a non-target and have been on about 10-15 so far throughout my senior summer, freshman year, and freshman summer. I never have considered myself an awkward guy and never had problems making friends. The calls I’ve had haven’t even been bad, I’ve had a majority positive experience and feel like I have been able to carry conversation well for the most part, aside from my first few calls.

Except every single time I get response to one of my emails and a call scheduled, I feel this intense dread and anxiety. There have been times were I wasn’t able to eat all day up to the call. This eventually goes away once I make my introduction on the call and get into the flow.

I try to prep as much as I can looking into their background/personal life, possible deals they were on, time in university if alumni. My approach to the call itself has been:
small talk / jumping into thanking them / introducing myself / asking for their background and letting them know I have some questions / jumping into questions I had prepared and trying to riff off of what they say / closing and ask for further connection / thanking them for their time

I always follow up with a thank you as well as updates for my older connections, I have even had second calls with some.

I feel like I have this whole thing down for the most part. My question is how do students do so many of these?  I constantly hear that if you do enough, the anxiety will dissipate. For me, they’re so mentally taxing I can literally feel myself balding due to stress, I even started minoxidil.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

3 Comments
 
Most Helpful

Just do more unfortunately or frame it differently or honestly stop taking calls with people you don’t want to talk to. Huge game changer when I went from dreading the call to wanting to actually talk to the person about their work or something I’ve read about and needed answers.

 

Based on the most helpful WSO content, your experience with coffee chats is not uncommon, and many students face similar anxiety despite having a solid approach. Here are some actionable tips to help you manage the stress and make the process less taxing:

1. Reframe Your Mindset

  • Remember that coffee chats are not high-stakes interviews. As one WSO user pointed out, to the professional on the other end, this is likely just another casual conversation in their day. Realizing this can help reduce the pressure you put on yourself.
  • Treat the chat as a learning opportunity rather than a performance. You're there to gain insights, not to impress them with perfection.

2. Pre-Call Anxiety Management

  • Call a Friend: Some users recommend calling a close friend 30 minutes before the chat to relax and shift your mindset into a conversational mode. This can help you feel more confident and less anxious.
  • Practice Stoic Principles or Mindfulness: A quick 10-minute mindfulness exercise or reading something calming can help center your thoughts and reduce pre-call jitters.
  • Low-Impact Nootropics: If you're open to it, some WSO users have found supplements like L-theanine or lion’s mane helpful for staying calm and focused.

3. Adjust Your Preparation

  • While researching the professional's background is important, over-preparing can sometimes amplify anxiety. Focus on a few key points and let the conversation flow naturally.
  • Have a few open-ended questions ready, but don’t feel the need to script the entire chat. This will make the conversation feel more organic and less rehearsed.

4. Post-Call Recovery

  • After each chat, take a moment to decompress. Whether it’s a short walk, listening to music, or doing something you enjoy, this can help you reset and avoid burnout.
  • Limit the number of chats you schedule in a week. Quality over quantity is key, and it’s better to have fewer meaningful conversations than to overwhelm yourself.

5. Long-Term Perspective

  • Anxiety often stems from the pressure to succeed. Remind yourself that networking is a numbers game, and not every chat will lead to a direct opportunity. Focus on building genuine connections over time.
  • As you gain more experience, the process will likely become less intimidating. Many WSO users have shared that their anxiety diminished after consistent practice.

6. Mental Health Check

  • If the stress feels overwhelming, consider speaking with a counselor or exploring techniques like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Several WSO users have credited CBT with helping them manage anxiety effectively.

Remember, you’re already doing a lot right—your structured approach, follow-ups, and ability to secure second calls are all signs of strong networking skills. It’s okay to take breaks and prioritize your mental health while navigating this process.

Sources: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/consulting/any-advice-on-how-not-to-bomb-a-coffee-chat-amid-covid-19?customgpt=1, How do you deal with anxiety during interviews, Bad Networking Calls - Analysts' Faults?, MENTAL HEALTH | IBD ANALYST EDITION

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

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