Looking for advice on the structure of this cold email to an alumnus.
I hope this email finds you well. My name is name and I'm currently a sophomore studying Computer Science and Engineering at target. While exploring different career paths within finance, I developed an interest in investment banking. This summer I will be interning at big 4 in the Advisory group. I am particularly passionate about the healthcare sector, and was wondering if you could take a few moments to speak with me about your experiences at bank so far and any advice you may have on securing opportunities in the industry. Thank you, and I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
Who is this email going to? One of the things I try to do is establish a personal touch point. For example, I found your contact info in [Alumni Database], I was also a [fraternity, major, whatever]. If it's just LinkedIn, say you were researching a topic of interest and noticed that you had a connection in common.
People are far more likely to help if they like you, and they're far more likely to like you if you validate something about themselves.
It's going to an alumnus. I just found him on LinkedIn and idk whether to put that down or not. His linkedin is pretty sparse with info, the only thing we have in common is he minored in CS while I'm majoring in it. Would that be worth putting down? And if so, what would be a good way to do it? Thanks!
I would keep it super simple:
Dear Mr. [ALUM],
My name is zoomzoomu and I am presently finishing my sophomore year at school. I am majoring in CS and have an internship at [place] this summer. I am also very interested in IB and was researching alumni who were in the industry and I found your contact information. Do you have 15 minutes over the next week for a brief phone call? I would like to learn more about the industry and your background.
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Keep it brief, don't ask about opportunities in the opening email (always ask to learn, you can ask about ops when you have a relationship), 15 minutes is a good anchor (who doesn't have a spare 15 minutes?)
This format has worked for me in the past.
Thanks! BTW, if I am not in the US atm, what should I do? My US phone number does not work here. Should I just say via Zoom or something instead?
I would get what's app or Google voice. Try and make it as easy for him to connect as possible.
I have whatsapp, but Google Voice doesn't work here unfortunately. Should I say whatsapp call instead of phone call? It sounds weird imo
You could try to use Skype credits and get a subscription on Skype to call US cell phones. Not sure what the cost is but I have heard of people doing that.
Personally, I would remove the word soon. I also want to echo what was said above about finding something that you can both relate to. I went from around 10% response rate to 50% by doing that.
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