Worried not making connection in undergrad
I’m a junior in at a top 10 undergraduate. I transferred in last year as a sophomore and that was during COVID so everything was online. I joined a few clubs and rose to be on leadership for 4 of them. I also have secured an SA position.
Despite these things, I have yet to make any real friends and made very few connections. My school is small as it is but I am worried that I am not building that network and making those memories with people that will come in handy later on in my career.
Any advice on making more connections and how to make the most out of these next 2 years?
Become a more active participant, try even more and different clubs, offer to host study sessions, bring small subsets of people to the bar. Don't stress about it, it should happen organically.
Suggest grabbing a meal / coffee to the other people in the club after your meetings. Set up study groups for classes, talk to people in your classes and invite them. Every time you go to campus, make sure you talk to 2 new strangers each time before leaving campus (I mean an actual conversation. Yes you will have to approach strangers, if you actually force yourself to do this and hold yourself accountable, despite how hard it is at first, I guarantee this will pay dividends). When you talk to others, be curious to learn about them and their background. If you find yourself having the same structured conversation ("Hi, whats your major, are you a sophomore, what clubs are you in, what job do you want") ban yourself from asking those repeated questions and try go into the whys. Try new things. If there is an event on campus (say a quiz night, study session, some random club thing) go to it, even if you go by yourself.
Making genuine connections with others is a function of: talking to lots of people, having overlapping interests with others, being interested in other people's stories and chance. With everything, if you want it enough, you will make it happen. If you want to make more connections and create some deep friendships, you will. The advice of not putting pressure on things is good - don't overthink everything, but if you want to change your current state (not making deep connections), you will have to change your actions.
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