Am I not cut out for this?
I'm a college student at a non-target, but good presence on the street. Everyone I've spoken to has told me that if I follow the basic steps, genuinely want to learn + follow good advice, and am a decent person it'll work out and I'll be able to break into EB/BB IB.
That's all fine. I was fortunate enough to get into some competitive clubs on campus, bagged an internship with a search fund and then local boutique and I've made some good friends and connections.
I've always liked to think of myself as a mentally and physically strong person. I was recruited at the Division 1 level for my sport (did not pursue), never really had pressure/stress get to me, and I would never really have any dark spots in my life.
When entering college, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years, even though I didn't really want to. The general advice I got from everyone was not to carry a high school relationship into college, and it's time to let go. I don't know why I let other people's opinions impact such an intimate part of my life, but I did so anyways, and here I am, back on winter break, missing her a ton. We met, and I confessed my feelings, and while she told me she also still had feelings for me, she wasn't sure if she could restart something right now since she was still in the process of learning to figure out living life independently. She says she sees us having a future, but just needs time for everything to process and settle before restarting anything because she doesn't want anything being a continuation of the past, rather something new. Completely fair.
I just don't know what to do. My motivation has tanked, my friends have noticed I'm no longer the happy-go-lucky, cheery person I've been, and I'm worried it'll impact my future.
Maybe my world view is small and I'm still young, but I've made an effort to meet a ton of people where I am and no one matches her intelligence and looks, and just the way I felt about her. Maybe I'm still young and time will figure all of this out, but what if it doesn't. My bigger concern is, if/when I'm working 60-80 hour weeks, if I'm not mentally strong enough to handle my personal baggage, will I be able to perform in the workplace? Is IB not for me? Do I wait for her? Do I forget her and move on?
I'd love to hear from some WSO veterans (Isaiah, Icahnic, etc.) and anyone else.
I don't know why the formatting looks abysmal. Sorry about that.
dude you better stop pouting and get out there to catch up to her n-count, holy shit
she wasn't sure if she could restart something right now since she was still in the process of learning to figure out living life independently. She says she sees us having a future, but just needs time for everything to process and settle before restarting anything because she doesn't want anything being a continuation of the past, rather something new
lol I know this sounds like I'm coping but I know she's gotten with no one since we broke up. I was her first and she is a generally reserved person when it comes to stuff like that. I don't know how to write about this without doxxing (I know my friends lurk on this forum), but she's just not like that. Breaking up with her hurt her at the time way more than it hurt me and I think she's still healing from that.
Personal stuff is separate from work. Just because you’re having a tough time getting your personal life figured out doesn’t mean that you won’t perform well in an IB role. You may even be able to drown stuff like this with work and solve the problem! jkjk probably not a healthy way to fix the gf issue, but also probably true. However, if you let your personal issues bleed into work, then you might have some troubles and the hours may amplify the issues. Regardless, seems like you’re just having girl problems and should just focus on working through your stuff
Thanks for the shoutout. Life has its ups and downs. This is completely normal. If you want your girlfriend back, don’t be blasé about it. Take her out to dinner and take control. Maybe she’s the one. You’re on the right track with your career - just keep grinding and you’ll get there. Cheers.
following Isaiah has made my days at work much more enjoyable. You are appreciated Isaiah. Happy holidays
Thanks bro. +SB / Cheers
Appreciate this a ton man. Will do.
Happy holidays!
I also broke up with my high school girlfriend before college. It was mutual but I still never met anyone else I wanted to date freshman year (also didn't want a gf tbh). She however did meet someone and dated him for most of freshman year. Long story short, I'm home for summer and hear they broke up so we end up hanging out again before heading back to college. I was pretty certain I wanted to get back with her even if it was long distance (and even though she dated someone else in between). First week back in school I met my now wife and never looked back lol. Life's odd like that. Your high school girlfriend could be the one or maybe you just haven't met the one yet. Keep putting yourself out there and getting to know people while she figures out what she wants.
Seems like from a career standpoint you are going to do just fine by the way!
I'm glad to hear it's worked out for you! I hope one day I can give some kid the same advice, but I think you're right. I'm just going to make my intentions clear, but do my own thing and let life take its course. Appreciate the advice a ton!
About to drop some harsh truths here but as someone who also came from a non-target, I loathe these types of whiny posts and think you need to be set straight or you (and everyone else with this mentality) are flat out doomed to mediocrity.
Could've guessed from the formatting...
I highly doubt anyone told you that just "following the basic steps" would get you accepted into jobs that are by the numbers more competitive than any of the Ivy league schools. If they did, they're grossly ignorant or lying to you. Also, being a decent person has literally nothing to do with what your first job out of school is. So long as you have relevant experience, references, and good/decent grades, you could be Satan in your personal life and no one would know or care.
Clubs are pretty meaningless but the internship exp is good. However a Search Fund and boutique bank are not going to be very relevant to a BB/EB hiring manager and barring perfect grades and some other connection (e.g. internal champion pushing for you) will be filtered to the trash pile almost immediately.
You were recruited for athletics and DIDN'T pursue it? And still went to a non-target so it's not like you have the excuse of choosing a better school (correct me if I'm wrong). That's a HUGE ding against. Barring some personal reason (e.g. injury, family, etc.) to someone looking in from the outside it just looks like you were a competitor who lost their edge and quit. There are a lot of teams at a lot of firms that look for athletes specifically because they want that teamwork mentality and competitive edge.
No idea what "dark spots" in your life is supposed to mean. If you mean to say you've never struggled, then welcome to your first.
Nobody cares. Completely irrelevant.
More often than not they're right. Either that or you'll just break up anyway (assuming LDR).
In what universe is this remotely relevant to getting a job. Grow up.
See above. All this does it make you look pussy whipped. Build a bridge and, for your sake, get the fuck over it. If a girl you dated in HS is all that gave you motivation to succeed then your title is in fact correct, you are not cut out for this.
You need to move on. None of the whiny relationship bs matters 1 iota. Personal and professional life are separate. If you can't manage that then no, you are not cut out for this. Everyone has 99 problems. Take this bit from Tom Segura to heart and stop burdening your professional shortcomings with meaningless personal problems. Put on the big boy pants and focus on self improvement, networking, etc. if you actually care about this as a career path. If not it truly doesn't matter. Millions of people pursue other careers and are perfectly happy, and there are more candidates that you can count who will step up to take your seat.
Thanks for the harsh wake-up calls. To answer some of your questions, didn't pursue it cause I did get injured and while the offer was still standing, the sport became miserable and incredibly physically painful. Whatever.
Obviously no one told me that it's all I need to get into BB IB, but all these people have BB/EB offers and I think their general sentiment was just to make it clear that it wasn't impossible and not some elusive goal. Follow certain steps, and you'll do okay was the idea. Maybe they're wrong? Worked out for them, I guess.
All in all, you're definitely right. I don't think I'm a lay on my back and let life pass me by type of person to begin with, but I think this is just a different set of emotions than I've normally been exposed to, combined with a new environment and ever increasing responsibilities.
I get it, I've always been an advocate for tenacity and not letting shit like this get to you. I think this was just different for me and I was just looking for people who've experienced the same and how they dealt with it. I've experienced rejection (professional and personal), failure, and whatever else (as most people have) and it hasn't necessarily gotten to me until now.
Thanks for the honesty. Probably what I needed to hear.
I completely empathize with your injury being the reason for not pursuing D1 athletics - I did the same, got wrecked by a car accident. Just saying in hindsight and for other potential readers, even if you get injured, if you retain the offer, attend, then drop out due to injury the school is most likely not going to kick you out because of the press shit storm it would lead to. I know multiple athletes across football, rowing, and baseball who hid injuries from recruiters, got into good schools, then dropped from the team over the injury. Some lost their athletic scholarships but you can usually fill those between needs-based aid and other grant programs depending on the school.
Vastly more of it can be chalked up to luck than most are willing to admit. Even for the big target schools it's a relatively small fraction compared to the rest of the student body who get these jobs. Short of having an internal champion that heavily stacks the deck in your favor, these seats are elusive for everyone regardless of school/gender/race (albeit some obvious characteristics make it magnitudes easier by comparison to others). The certain steps to follow are just the bare minimum to be considered, not all encompassing.
I'm glad you're taking it to heart and not as an offense, I genuinely want to help and am a firm believer that sometimes it needs to be rough. It's nothing against you, but nothing irrationally aggravates me more than seeing guys who clearly work hard let their personal bs get in their own way (saying this as someone who's done it and learned from it). Emotions are fickle and fleeting. Compartmentalization of irrational reactions to various happenings is an unbelievably useful skill as your career advances.
Good luck!
haha harsh bro - but one thing - it’s actually “loathe” - cheers
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