Anger issues
WSO,
I don't consider myself a Type-A personality. I think I am an easy going guy overall, but lately I have noticed that I get angry real easy. And what triggers is mainly authority. From a young age, I've been well kinda flake. If someone told me to do something I wouldn't do it. Maybe that's why I didn't do too good at school. Now at work, if someone tell me to do something I do it, but if someone is being dickish I backfire. For instance, I got an email today from my boss like "what the fuck is this" and without thinking I was standing in his office telling him not to ever speak to me like that again. All the fights I have ever been in all broke out when someone was being disrespectful or an asshole. Btw I'm not a psycho and if I fuck shit up , I don't care about people yelling at me. But if I think its unwarranted, I go ape shit.
My question is, how many of you are in the same predicament?
edit: all responses get an SB until I run out
I get pissed off relatively easy/often, but I don't think I've ever taken it out on a boss lol.
OP when my bishes talk back I give 'em a smack attack, puts 'em back on track.
You right 2 get mad at haters when they hate. That just mean you doing your job; if you AIN'T getting hate on, then you ain't ballin hard enough.
theres a big difference between "real" anger, and like "I wanna show off my superiority and seem like a hardass type-A" anger. If you're legitimately angry, go nuts. But i have no tolerance for people's bullshit just to "seem" tough. Totally seems like your boss was doing the latter there, so yea I wudda been pissed too
I used to have a serious rage problem but directed it at other hockey player or punks at the bar. Sometimes, I still just want to find some piece of shit asshole to pummel into submission, but honestly, you mellow out with age. The wake up call for me was when I knocked some kid on his ass in the back of the bar for mouthing off, only to find out later from his sister that he had mild tourettes...I can't explain how mortified I was and this kid gets whatever he wants now. It's no way to go through life, deal with this now before you pick a fight with someone who ends you.
Realize that some people just have a shitty personality and not take things so personally, it's THEM not YOU.
Their life is their punishment, don't play god. Also, cut back on the coffee if you can, it just fuels angst.
Take a vitamin D supp and/or smoke weed after work.
Did you say you were like me?
People who have a problem with authority are in facet type A personalities. It is not a bad thing to begin with, but letting it get to you is bad, since it hinders your own growth and limits what you can do.
I am pro speaking your brains every now and then just to remind them that they can't run you over and you can handle your own pretty well...If you truly believe your anger is legitimate then they will realize it as well; on the other hand if your anger is unjustified and you have indeed fucked some shit up then they won't back the fuck up and you are screwed.
There is a huge responsibility that comes with anger, you must differentiate between it's origins: whether your brains are insulted or your feelings are hurt make your reaction tolerable or intolerable.
Since every time I show that I am upset about something my entire team think I am PMSing, I just use it as an excuse :D I now PMS 22 days out of the month.
lol good excuse...sadly i cant use that! Im pretty much into bushido and if I see someone disrespect me or threaten me verbally, I take it well pretty personally. I might not last in a job because of this.
I just break the phone on my desk. I'm on number 3.
Just go to work high as BALLS. I guarantee you will not get angry when your boss curses you out. You might even laugh.
.
Are you out of SB's yet?
I'm just like you OP. Recently, the head of my department talked down to me (he's a keynesian) and I blasted him with an e-mail explaining to him what I thought about keynesians (in other words, why he was a fucking clueless clown).
He got back at me and I got back at him again.
Same with my professors and people in general.
If people talk shit on you when you're doing nothing wrong, they need to get cheked.
Everybody loses it sometimes. Just look at Mel Gibson.
OP did you fuck up though?
If you fire back with emotion, you'll get shit on. If you "fire back" with an even temper and a logical argument, you'll earn people's respect.
In short: don't be a little bitch.
Seriously though, sometimes throwing a phone across the room really does send the message "YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCK WITH ME". Use with discretion.
I guess I get angry too, but I've learned to control it. I mean, if I did something wrong & deserve it, then I'll accept it, but if someone were to yell at me for no good reason repeatedly, I'd snap back or confront them.
Sports/working out is a great way to manage your anger! That's usually how I handled my stress or anger.
You work in banking like that bro?
lol do u bro?
pls go
Yah brah, I do
lol sheep
I genuinely have an anger management problem that I'm going to see a counselor about in the coming week or so. I'm a super nice guy and I genuinely care about other people, but I inherited a fiery and easily sparked temper. The final wakeup call for me was actually earlier this week when I went postal--POSTAL--on some subordinates of mine on a transaction we had been working on. My philosophy has always been to foster a work environment where my employees will either look forward to going to work or to never ever dread coming to work. It got back around to me that my employees have been put off by my temper--I was genuinely despondent when I heard this. I had become like the rest of my previous bosses that made work life miserable for me.
I think in some ways being quick to anger is really the outpouring of one's sense of entitlement. I'm the boss so I'm entitled to perfect work exactly how I want it when I want it. I'm the boyfriend so I'm entitled to my gf's un-dying love and focus. I'm the adult son so I'm entitled to my mother's generosity. I'm the friend to I'm entitled to be a jerk when I'm having a bad day. I'm late so I'm entitled to get ahead of you in traffic.
I think if those of us who are quick to anger were honest with ourselves we'd find that the source of many of our anger issues is self-centeredness and entitlement. I haven't conquered my anger issues yet, but I think things can change for us if we live by the philosophy that people matter and that we should do nothing out of selfishness or empty conceit.
preftige is the new prestige son
Very well said, I do feel like you do and I dont think thats bad. Self-confidence is good but over confidence leads to cockiness which leads to assholeness. I just get pissed when people mistreat me when I have done nothing wrong. If a girl shows me atttiutde or is being a bitch, if a guy is acting cool or if anyone is acting in a douchey manner with me. Fucking hiroshimas erupt in me. That is the single reason I will never own any kind of weapon. Dont want to regret wasting some douchebag for testing me.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying and I feel the same way often times. I think the core to those kinds of anger issues is pride. As Proverbs says, pride cometh before the fall. I think anger issues are merely a symptom of some of our core character flaws. It seems to me that the core character flaw of anger/rage/quick temper is a false sense of entitlement, self-centeredness and pride. In this case we become angry because our pride is hurt--being yelled at when the boss is wrong or having a girl that treats us with disdain. These things wound the pride.
I'm not a shrink nor am I Ghandi, but if those kinds of things set you off then I'd be looking to a source to help you overcome pride issues. I think as we become more humble and start to consider others as more important than ourselves (which I am not even remotely close to myself) then we'll see some of the symptoms fade. Pride leads to entitlement leads to self-centeredness leads to being easily angered leads to hurtful words leads to ruined relationships leads to personal isolation and so on.
But if you have no pride, you have no self worth...wont you become a pushover ?
I think this is a matter of interpreting the word "pride" as in English the same word often has similar but different meanings. There's "good pride"--self confidence, self worth, cleanliness, good work, etc.--and there's "bad pride"--arrogance, self-centeredness, entitlement, over confidence, inflated sense of self worth, etc. Generally when talking about "pride issues" people are talking about "bad pride". Not that everyone who struggles with bad pride is an arrogant, self-centered jerk, but there are degrees of bad pride. A girl shoots us down and we get angry because our sense of self worth has been damaged, but our sense of self worth shouldn't be based on what a girl thinks. When a boss yells at us for no reason it wounds our belief in our own abilities, but our sense of security in our own abilities should not come from the words of others.
If we can learn to humble ourselves and consider others as more important than ourselves--a very tall task--then being yelled at or cursed at or wronged will likely be dealt with in a way that is honoring to everyone involved and is less likely to end with us looking like jerks, losing our jobs, holding back our careers or getting arrested.
Anger issues? Honestly, sounds like butt hurt problems. If you are a boss and someone gets you to the point where you go nuts, you need to learn how to manage better. If you are a subordinate and your boss gets you so pissed you are acting out, you need to learn how to channel things better.
Being angry isn't type A, it is not being adult enough to handle your anger.
Pro tip - you get in an MD's face and tell him not to talk to you like that anymore and you can start collecting food stamps because your ass will be canned so fast and you will never get another job in finance.
I dont work in finance...i dont care of being terminated...i will lay the fucker out in front of the whole office the day i do
TNA, you're mistakenly attributing anger issues with outside factors. People don't blow up at employees because they don't know how to manage. They blow up at employees, curse at other drivers, and are short with friends and family because they have character flaws that underlie that anger or temper. You don't conquer anger by ensuring situations occur that never make you angry--it's an impossible goal.
well what did you do?
if you fucked up you sit there and nod and take it and then don't do it again.
the yelling is to get the point across some fuck ups are so bad you just can't fuck up
u kno?
Yea mayne. Just keep yo pimp hand strong, and yo pinky ring shiny.
Oh, and I get the gun thing, but you'd be surprized at how much more aware you are of your actions when you actually have a loaded piece in your hand.
Oh, and I get the gun thing, but you'd be surprized at how much more aware you are of your actions when you actually have a loaded piece in your hand.
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