Anyone here feel lonely despite knowing a lot of people and hanging out with friends?
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Honestly i saw a therapist and then after a while was recommended to a psychiatrist. Now im starting to feel normal again and looking forward to hanging out with friends and generally more happy. Best decision. I was in denial about having anxiety because i think it makes you weak but honestly i feel pretty strong now after treating it! Hope the best for you
maybe try a new hobby? changing my approach to day-to-day routine has helped me when im going through those ruts too.
a lot of things in life are valuable in itself. for example, i really enjoy being able to see my friends (i wish i could see them more often!) because i enjoy the experience of seeing them, of having company. it doesn't need to be anything more than that. i enjoy my hobbies because i find the value in trying new things and experiencing new things. it's valuable in itself. i think a lot of people would agree in their own lives with what im trying to express.
Here are a few things that helped me:
- I'll start off somewhat obviously, but to some extent embrace the mundaneness. Not every moment of your life will be a Tahitian vacation with a strawberry daquiri and an umbrella. If you are on social media - remove it. Delete it. Erase your password. Don't go back. For me getting off twitter was a start, IG is next and frankly probably even worse from a lifestyle perspective.
- Start journaling or, simply, write out on paper your feelings. Maybe you simply start with what made you happy/excited and what took energy/felt mundane to you. Over time, just doing that will help you see what is adding to your life and what isn't. Do more of things you like, less of things you don't to the extent you can. The more extreme version of this is a 'life audit' - which I actually plan to do for the first time this year. That's literally taking all the various areas of my life, laying them out, evaluating what is/isn't working, then setting up a plan from there. I dunno - it's absolutely overkill, but interested to see if it does anything.
- Once you've got some sense of the areas that are challenging, then start making changes - I've been reading a lot of Adam Grant, Ryan Holiday and James Clear recently which have helped me immensely in getting into the right mindset. Start with small, daily changes - see how it sits. Then move onto bigger things.
- For me, when I struggled with this is largely came from me not listening to myself and quite literally searching for external validation or motivators. That could be as simple as 'hey, do you want to go out tonight' vs. 'hey, I'd like to go to XYZ tonight - you interested?'. Instead of setting my own schedule, agenda and things I want to accomplish - I would look for what others wanted from me, I perceived they wanted from me and/or simply made the excuse that 'oh, I'm not XYZ - so why would I go do XYZ thing'. It helped me by setting up, again, what do I want to do this day/week/month... etc.
- The other thing is literally make a big change. Maybe your job simply isn't doing it for you. Maybe you need to take a vacation. Start a new hobby. A therapist is always an option, it has helped me in the past, but that's a decision that you can weigh.
Make attempts to connect with the friends you do have in your circle right now. You'd be surprised what new interests you'll find when a friend asks you to something you think is goofy like disc golf or watching civil war docs, etc. You'll see the six degrees effect in action to your benefit too. Join a rec league in anything. Otherwise go with everyone's suggestions above. It can be hard sometimes, but set aside the shyness and anxiety and go for it. Fortune favors the bold and you'd be amazed at how true that is.
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