As a traveling consultant, I have been accumulating a lot of hotel points. I recently had an ethical discussion with a friend about a hypothetical scenario:
- Let's say I am going on a weekend trip with 2 friends, the hotel costs $600, but I use my Marriott points so it's 100% paid for. Should I expect my friends to pay me $200 (what their share would be worth)? Or should they pay less (Half their share- $100? Or nothing at all?
I'm curious what your thoughts are- do you think the person with the points is right to have their friends split it with them? If you were the friend- would you offer to pay part of the hotel?
You could just straight up ask them how they want to handle it. Let them know you’d use points for your share and how you’d value it.
I’d just pay cash and avoid any concerns/debate and blow the points on a Ritz or St Regis stay with a romantic partner.
Be up front that you can pay with points and ask them to cover some expenses to balance it out like the car rental or dinners. If they are also on the up and up they'd go for it. Otherwise, tell them to pay their share of the room out of pocket and pay your share with the points if you can. The fact you're willing to ask for only half in the first place shows that you do have said ethics and morals, so good on you.
Otherwise, do like above and just pay it, eat it for the moment and save the points for someone worth it.
True friends don't keep score.
If you want to pay with points because you care about your friends, then just pay with points. If they're true friends back then they'll recognize it and pick up other parts of the trip without you needing to say anything. If they don't offer at all, then they've told you everything you need to know. That's really all there is to it.
I usually do something like this but it results in consistently getting the short end of the stick. Using the example above, one person gets the hotel for $200 and then the friend covers dinner for $150 and you're short $50. Not a huge deal but gets mildly annoying after it happens several times in a row. Your buddy is covering his part and not at the same time.
I'll say it again for the slow kids among you - true friends don't keep score. That also applies to the person doing the giving (yes, even you). If you think of the differences as "debt" or "the short end of the stick" then you're simply not as true a friend as you think you are. Do it out of the genuine care from your heart, not because it's a debt to be paid later. I'm disappointed that I have to explain this.
you're smart enough to figure this out yourself
I would never use points in this situation - it just puts everyone in a weird spot. Yes the hotel was $600, and the friends should technically each give you $200, but you weren't coming out of pocket for it so it gets sticky.
If I were the friend I'd pay the $200 and forget about it, but not everyone would see it that way
I personally don’t think using points to pay and requesting $200 from your friends is an ethical
Issue, especially since the way to usually come across points is to spend. Points are a form of currency just like USD, and could choose to spend them on yourself instead
I did a stint in consulting over a decade ago and still have points/miles I am burning up. I don’t know how far along in your career you are, but you’ll soon amass a pile of miles and points that you’ll just give away in order to use them.
Pick up the hotel room as a gesture of good faith and your friends should pick up a few meals/drinks in return. Win win.
Did you just copy/paste my post? But totally agreed and SB'ed.
In these situations I just say like buy me some drinks/booze or pay for a couple Ubers for it or something. Agree with the above posts of not trying to keep score but your friends ethically should also probably want to chip in some to even things. Asking for a full $200 seems ridiculous and cheap when you are using points you got for free. No one likes the guy that is super stingy or anal about paying a couple bucks extra. Buzz kill.
Otherwise don't use your points and pay out of pocket yourself and split it.....IMO $600 in points you earned for free that can only be used in a very specific way is not equivalent to $600 cash that you can use on anything. Clearly you are using the points because you don't have a ton of alternative opportunities to use them...........
If it's FWB, you only pay.
For the benefits or the room?
Do they need to know you're paying with points? I usually just don't tell them in this instance. Are they really going to ask for a receipt or something.
The whole point of making money is to stop being cheap. If those guys are friends, they must certainly pay back with drinks, restaurants or gifts afterwards.
As someone with personal experience of this (having plenty of accrued hotel points/air miles and putting it towards a group holiday) I would personally echo what others have said and say they cover other expenses, eg car rental/few meals out etc.
Reason being is that the monetary value of points can be somewhat opaque to someone not familiar with the rewards system, so it avoids any awkwardness of anyone in the group feeling they’re “being taken advantage of” (personally I would never feel this way if I was the friend, but one thing I’ve learned is people even supposed friends can be really funny/strange when it comes to money).
Also in fairness you are getting some value in that you can effectively “monetize” these points by getting a cash equivalent (eg car rental paid for) in exchange for your points, which otherwise have no value unless you’re going on a vacation/trip. So my personal approach is to be relatively relaxed about it, ie I’m happy if people in the group cover the car hire/meals etc even if it doesn’t fully equal the value of the points - given that a) life is too short these days to be squabbling over small sums of money, and b) I am actually benefiting from being able to “cash in” some extra points this way.
The above is just imho, there’s no one correct way of doing this - whatever works for your your group. But I’d just be cautious about going over the top in calculating exact amounts, when in reality the difference in monetary terms won’t be huge.
Congrats, BB just got inspired for their next SJT
I was in this predicament years ago, and as I did back then as I do today when similar issues arise, I rely on the tride and true "Good Dude" test.
I ask myself a serious question, is said person a "Good Dude?"
I just avoided using points in a group setting with friends
I tell teh friends I'm using points, figure out what it would cost and then give them a 15% ish discount.
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