Banker BF broke up with me for a job abroad

Background: Ex-boyfriend grew up in a privileged family. His parents are expats and are currently living abroad. He grew up moving around a lot and living in different countries as a kid. He’s 28, I’m 26. His career didn’t quite take off how he’d hoped for after law school. And after a 5 yr relationship he broke up with me last yr to take a new job abroad for World Bank. Fast forward to today he came back to the states for a quick visit and we saw each other recently. He seems happy and well-adjusted. Even describing how life in the states is a “let-down” and boring compared to his life abroad. He does not seem like he’s heartbroken over missing me at all, and if he is, he’s hiding it really well. He told me about the cool parties he goes to in Dubai, and his new friends.

Besides obviously being heartbroken I’m have so many questions about what being an expat means and why he felt it would be impossible for me to be apart of his lifestyle and completely cut me out. Is this how their life will always be? Is he just going to be an international vagabond for the rest of his life partying and drinking in different countries for the rest of his life? Who do expats usually marry? Other expats? I feel like he has no heart and that people are expendable to him. He tells me he’s always been used to making new friends and leaving old ones behind so it’s nothing new for him. This is so jarring, I literally don’t even know how to process this. Like how does a person have any real sense of identity if they don’t have a place or group of people they can call home? It feels like the “him” I got to know here in the states was just one version of himself and now he’s a completely different person that I didn’t even know. It’s all really weird. Is it just me or are people who grew up as expats kind of weird people? Not being judgmental just asking for honest clarity.

Stories, experiences, advice. All is welcome.

11 Comments
 
"Lainghley" Background: Ex-boyfriend grew up in a privileged family. His parents are expats and are currently living abroad. He grew up moving around a lot and living in different countries as a kid. He's 28, I'm 26. His career didn't quite take off how he'd hoped for after law school. And after a 5 yr relationship he broke up with me last yr to take a new job abroad for World Bank. Fast forward to today he came back to the states for a quick visit and we saw each other recently. He seems happy and well-adjusted. Even describing how life in the states is a "let-down" and boring compared to his life abroad. He does not seem like he's heartbroken over missing me at all, and if he is, he's hiding it really well. He told me about the cool parties he goes to in Dubai, and his new friends.

Besides obviously being heartbroken I'm have so many questions about what being an expat means and why he felt it would be impossible for me to be apart of his lifestyle and completely cut me out. Is this how their life will always be? Is he just going to be an international vagabond for the rest of his life partying and drinking in different countries for the rest of his life? Who do expats usually marry? Other expats? I feel like he has no heart and that people are expendable to him. He tells me he's always been used to making new friends and leaving old ones behind so it's nothing new for him. This is so jarring, I literally don't even know how to process this. Like how does a person have any real sense of identity if they don't have a place or group of people they can call home? It feels like the "him" I got to know here in the states was just one version of himself and now he's a completely different person that I didn't even know. It's all really weird. Is it just me or are people who grew up as expats kind of weird people? Not being judgmental just asking for honest clarity.

Stories, experiences, advice. All is welcome.

He broke up with you last year and you're still not over it?

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

he wanted to be a sexual vagabond. you were holding him back. by the dick.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

I quit like 3 weeks ago bro! I think I posted in that the whole time. Check page 2. I almost got sued for a minute there

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
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heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/

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