Best chances of marrying European nobility?

Rising high school freshman here, which schools/cities/clubs should I be at/in if I want to marry a girl who's descended from an European noble family? I'd prefer Spanish or British nobility since I find British accents hot and I like blonde, fair-skinned Spanish women. 


I am part of the elite class. I'm not delusional to think that I could breed a European duchess without a sufficient background and pedigree.


I am part of the elite class. I'm not delusional to think that I could breed a European duchess without a sufficient background and pedigree.

Why the Eurocentric fetish. Thailand and Nepal have royalty too. Their chicks don't appetize you ?



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Most Helpful

Serious answer here.

I happen to know a few people from the "lower-ish" nobility (think Baron/Count, etc) and to get in there´s a few simple questions.

1. Are you a commoner? If (most probably) so, don't fret. If not, great, but don't party too soon, a mere Knight cannot hope to get a Duchess or whatever on title alone.

2. What kind of commoner are you? If you're rich (and you better be), for how long has your family been rich? One generation, you're out. Two or more generation? Okay, with what? Banking? Top, you're in, enjoy your free comtessa. Industry, SME type of beat? Not too bad, do they have connections? Yes - not bad chances (ultra-peasants like the Rockefellers did it). Entertainment? Depends on the type, but probably not. Sports? No, sports are a result of riches (think racing, equestrian arts, tennis, etc), not their cause. Intellectual stuff? Depends, no journalists and related things. Philology, mathematics, big brain stuff? Very nice, but also a result of riches (3 generations rule and such). Rule of thumb, if your family (or the guy that made your family rich/famous) has its own Wikipedia article, you're solid.

3. Connections, do you have them? Rule of thumb here, if you gotta ask, you probably don't. How to get them? Well, parents, mostly. Go to famous boarding schools, rub shoulders, do coke/read Nietzsche/play tennis with your mates, and it should all work out - if your social status stays high, that is. If you weren't so lucky, there's a few ways, mostly by rubbing shoulders in areas these people favour, which are overwhelmingly banking, law, forestry, oenology, and rich-kid studies, such as art history. Example in point, the work colleague of a family friend (who's a Baron), he's being taken onto social gatherings. Provided you can get a friend with rank and name, and provided you have the social skill to thrive in these environments (I personally do not), you can "work our way up" the social tree - from burghers, to Barons, to Dukes, to Princes. Or you are very Catholic, the you write a nice letter to Eduard von Habsburg (very nice man), meet him in Rome, shake hands, and then start from there (I´m dead serious here).

To sum it up, these people are called noble for a reason - they do not, as a general rule, open their skirts to every charming fella with 250k job and a Wharton degree. Money's not even that important here, it's class, history, knowledge, connections. I can't tell you how to get there, but I can tell you that it's pretty fucking difficult if the cards are not already stacked in your favour - but that's what true nobility is, no, excellence in the face of adversity? (BTW, read CS Lewis' treaty on the necessity of knights)

...and the Truth shall set you free

Again, depends. Are you Lou Nussbaum from Queens, who grinded his way to Wharton with a scholarship and to a hedge fund during the 00s? Or are you Patrick Chaddington III from Connecticut, whose name is on one of the buildings on campus and who manages the family foundation between boat races in the Hamptons and thicc Bloody Marys on the docks? 

...and the Truth shall set you free

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