Buzzwords
I am a summer analyst and this is my first experience with "corporate america." I have heard numerous buzzwords that make me question how people come up with these.
Some examples of things i've heard: *"I have some extra bandwidth if anyone needs anything"
"I took a look at the report, I think it is a little too granular"
"Would you mind letting me drive, it will be quicker" (In reference to the person using my computer when showing me something)
"Make sure to take his temperature when at the meeting" (In reference to seeing where the client is at)
These are just a couple I can recall. Would love to hear some of your favorites.
"This kid is all juice, no pulp"
haha havent heard that one yet
Wouldn't call these favorites... they are more akin to fingernail pulling
"I'd like to get some color on..." Means they haven't read the report yet and is about to ask you something that is explained in the next paragraph
"Thx" You're an adult, type like one
"Lets circle up" This is dbag talk, we aren't circling anywhere
"High level" Translation: I haven't completed my due diligence yet
"Quick and dirty" Get ready for an assault of questions where the answers are buried in the audits
Not bank specific: * "It's like comparing apples to oranges" Why can't fruit be compared?!
You'd be surprised how many traders use thx in outlook
I don't really find it douchey like some people do. It's just the way people speak in an industry. It happens in every single industry. IE marketers and saying the phrase monetizing intent.
The big ones: Can you provide more color on X. Let's circle back after X. Calling companies assets.
Interesting!
These are just some that I hear and see around the office. Hope you enjoy -- thx. "Massage the numbers" "Circle back" "High Level" "In the weeds" "Seasoned" "Thx" "Are you fucking kidding?" "Add some color on..." "Take a stab at..." "Call a huddle" "Low hanging fruit" "Fuck you" "Circle the wagons" "Pls"
"Who just joined?"
"Sounds like we have quorum."
I keep hearing "who just joined" atleast 10 times in a day during calls. Every time I hear that, I have the urge to say "Your mama!"
Example Email:
From: [email protected] Subject: Where are u Body:
Subject: "Come see me" Body: -
"Folks", "Around the table", "pound the table", "drypowder", "roll up their sleeves", "see the court", "understand the route". the word - RIGHT - in 'statements such as - "folks dont want to pound the table for a low conviction investor, {right}" or "folks want a high quality GP, right", or "Folks like a liquid cash like holding, right", or "folks like tapatio more than cholula, right"
At this one particular firm:
Processies (processes???? idk) Bio-break (not long enough for a proper break, but please take a quick piss if needed) Legacy (the old way of doing things) Internal mobility (yeah sure)
I'll just leave this post here for your enjoyment. https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/hilarious-barclays-goodbye-email
.
huddle up down the fairway 10,000 ft view hairy situation
Subject: Pls print 15 copies color front back bind thx Body:
Ratione aperiam molestiae maiores et ratione officiis accusantium. Beatae sit placeat doloremque tenetur voluptatum in aut. Iure occaecati et expedita recusandae velit modi rem. Aut quod voluptatum eum autem libero et. Dicta nemo quod laboriosam est sunt recusandae incidunt exercitationem. Voluptates repellat sed natus odio.
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