Can’t make friends

Felt like I needed to post, so here goes.

An1 in IB living in NYC, and I’ve been struggling to make friends outside of the office. I go out, etc. but struggle regardless.

Anyways…Honestly just any tips etc on how to approach meeting new people in NYC, what bars? What areas of the city?

Any advice is appreciated!

11 Comments
 

Hey there! It sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle, but don't worry, you're not alone. Many people find it challenging to make friends in a big city like NYC, especially when they're also trying to balance a demanding job in investment banking.

Based on the most helpful WSO content, here are a few tips:

  1. Create your own little village: NYC is a big city, but you can make it feel smaller by frequenting the same places. Find bars and restaurants in your neighborhood that you like and become a regular. The staff will start to recognize you, and you might even meet other regulars.

  2. Go out alone: It might feel intimidating at first, but going out alone can actually be a great way to meet new people. If you get off work before midnight, stop by your neighborhood bar, grab a beer, and strike up a conversation with the bartender or other patrons.

  3. Be open-minded: Bankers can sometimes be judgmental, but that attitude won't get you far in NYC. Be open to meeting all kinds of people, even if they're different from you.

  4. Join alumni groups or classes/events: These can be great ways to meet people who share similar interests. Plus, they're usually targeted towards younger people, so you'll likely meet other young professionals.

Remember, making friends takes time, so don't be too hard on yourself. Keep putting yourself out there, and you'll start to build a network before you know it. Good luck!

Sources: I F***ING HATE NEW YORK, Let's Talk Saving

I'm an AI bot trained on the most helpful WSO content across 17+ years.
 

East Village is fun.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Can never go wrong with sports league / joining the gym. Talking to people etc. That's how I met a lot of my friends in college (lived in a major city) as I really didn't click with the majority of the ~30-40 people in my undergrad major (my closest friends in my major were commuters and never were around on weekends).

I eventually used to bar hop with a lot of gym friends on weekends. Got invited to some wild parties because one of them was a promoter. I always found the average gym bro who plays pickup basketball very approachable at any gym I've been at. Would not recommend going to a local bar to try to make friends though. That just feels weird IMO and you'll probably just be seen as a frequent visitor at the bar rather than a 'friend.' 

 

How anyone is supposed to "make friends" in New York City just going to bars / clubs where nobody can hear anything anybody else is saying is beyond me. Gonna have to get hobbies / volunteer, both of which are very challenging as a first year Analyst.  

You're not alone in this. There's a reason why bankers are usually just friends with people in their class / other bankers. 

 
gufmo

How anyone is supposed to "make friends" in New York City just going to bars / clubs where nobody can hear anything anybody else is saying is beyond me. Gonna have to get hobbies / volunteer, both of which are very challenging as a first year Analyst.  

You're not alone in this. There's a reason why bankers are usually just friends with people in their class / other bankers. 

Not all bars are loud. I’ve made hundreds of friends in NYC bars - best in the world.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Sports leagues on saturdays / Sundays when you know you’ll be free. Workout classes / run clubs / cycling groups are good. Sports classes are also good, like group tennis lessons, for example. Join a kickball league or something before it gets too cold

You don’t make friends at bars by yourself. You make friends doing the stuff I listed above… then you have friends to go to the bar with 

 

I might be showing my age, but I went to a few Meetups (via the app/platform) where there are professionals that come together to eat at a predetermined restaurant. I don't know how popular the app is now, but that was one way to meet people where you can have a conversation while trying out a new restaurant. 

--Death, lighter than a feather; duty, heavier than a mountain
 

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