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This is regarding residential so it’s probably not what you’re looking for. But it’s still funny nonetheless. Price: best and final, don’t even bother if you’re not offering over asking price Terms: my clients need infinite time to find their replacement home, meanwhile you cannot cancel the contract on the basis of finding something else DD: 7 days to complete all inspections and due diligence, 17 days to get full loan approval, buyers must waive appraisal contingency Misc: buyers to pay for all termite inspection AND repairs, my client’s concession capped at $200 (no, I didn’t miss a 0)

We had 14 offers on this property within 3 days. Got someone to accept all those terms and offer $52,000 over. Closed it up.

Little rant: clients still weren’t completely happy. I got them a new car in terms of how much the buyers paid vs what my clients expected. I cant think of a worse counter offer to submit to buyers. Some people will never be happy.

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
 

I interviewed with a non-profit home-builder about a year ago for Director of Development. I knew they were looking in that $125-140,000 range. The interview went really well and they asked me toward the end what my salary expectations were--I said $200,000. You could almost see the blood drain from their face--I half expected them to call security. Suffice it to say a hard offer never came.

My reasoning was fourfold--I'd have to increase my hours worked from 40 presently to 60-80; the job was slightly out of my expertise level so I wasn't 100% sure I'd be successful and might end up fired; every new job comes with it risk that you won't like the job or your boss or that your boss won't like you; and the commute into the city suuuucks--I f*cking hate D.C. area public transportation. (As an aside, leave it to a non-profit to set up shop in a hyper-expensive office building in downtown D.C., paying $70 psf for the privilege. I definitely found that to be a bit offensive.)

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