Dating a Coworker - Yay or Nay?

Two scenarios where it can work and I’ve seen it work:

1) completely different groups where you will have 0 interaction with each other. A girl in healthcare and a guy in tech might never see each other at my firm.

2) one of the people is about to leave in the next ~6 months

Goes without saying, in today’s day and age it’s very risky, so if you are going to do it, it should be a girl/ guy you are trying to marry not a hookup. Even then, things can go really badly, so the reward just isn’t worth the potential risk. It shouldn’t be that hard to wait until you finish an analyst stint and one of the people leaves imo.

Edit: just to add as well, bankers are risk averse, so the odds even if the other person is interested in you they say no to a date/ hookup/ whatever just due to the risk alone is high. You almost need two people with poor judgement unless it’s one of the scenarios above.

Risky business. I started dating, now married with fam. I left soon after we started dating to create that separation. I think dating just to date and to add people to the pool is silly (unless you go outside your group / someone you really don't interact with often). But if there's a connection that might be real, there's a risk-reward that might be worth seeing through

I dated someone in the office for about six months or so. She was in another team so there wasn't too much potential for tension, and we kept it quiet to avoid drama (although people did pry about it because they'd see us going for walks, getting lunch together etc). It was actually kinda fun, making out in the elevator, finding excuses to leave events at the same time without being obvious, and just having someone to take 5 minutes with when I was feeling stressed out and wanted a break. 

That said, I was lucky because she was very forward about being interested. While I'd be happy to date a colleague, I'd be super cautious of making a first move on a colleague unless I knew them super well already and could trust that they wouldn't make a big deal out of it if I read the signs wrong. 

This is an interesting question. I've been very attracted to 1 or 2 girls I worked with and wanted something, so I can see where you're coming from in your question. Think also in banking (analyst years) that you can form tunnel vision with a girl (e.g., you both work 100+ hrs a week in the same group and are around each other all the time, meanwhile you're spending some low percentage of the other 68 hrs with other friends, so other relationships are deemphasized). 

I think you want to be really careful engaging with the opposite sex in the workplace. In today's environment, there's a thin line between harassment and flirtation --- you don't want to get caught in that web. As a man --- don't ever let your partner in crime below the waist cloud your judgment. And always make sure you have a solid read on a girl before moving forward. The stakes are much higher in a work environment.

But if you're past that point, and you know the other person shares your feelings, I honestly think it would be ideal for you both to be friends with benefits and keep the relationship hidden from others. Being in a fully-blown relationship with a girl you work with will ultimately spread like wildfire at the office, and (at the least) you'll be the center of gossips and other unwanted attention. At most HR will take notice, which can be problematic. I never dated at the office, but there was a female in my group (analyst/associate level) who dated a male in another group (also analyst/associate). They never got in trouble, but they would get a lot of attention and would be the topic of occasional small-talk. The guy would come around to our side of the office to meet up with his GF and it would get real awkward and quiet because people were nosy and wanted to hear what they saying to each other and see how they were interacting. It's literally like high school all over again, not even joking. I don't think a relationship can be optimal in these conditions --- just think there's a lot of white noise here that you don't want to be dealing with. Conversely, if youre both boinking and dating (unofficially) outside the office on your own time (under the table), think you get the upside of being intimate while avoiding the downside of getting unwanted attention. If you absolutely need to be in a formal relationship, you should seriously consider switching jobs.

Lastly, I'd disclaim here to you really need to think about the point I made above regarding tunnel vision. Really question if you're attracted to a girl for the right reasons, or if it's because she's the only girl you're dealing with on a daily basis.

I never dated a coworker, but had some sparks with another coworker and then she got fired and I resigned in the same day and we went out immediately and got hammered and hooked up. She wanted to date but I only wanted fwb with her. 

Yes, yes, and yes. Always. You only live once. Especially if she's cute/hot. 

I like to keep things 100% halal... unless it’s something I really like.

Generally I would advise against it, but the sex is usually significantly amplified if you manage to do it in the office / staircases, etc.

My recommended solution is to date somebody from the same building, but not the same firm. Work on your elevator pitch.

I have been dating and now live with a girl for over 2 years and we met at a bank. Work is a great place to meet each other given you take some common sense precautions. We have similar WLB lifestyles which is huge, similar interest, similar goals, similar mentalities on careers etc.

1) Take it slow. hang out as friends at minimum ~5 times outside of work to test compatibility

2) Dont look in the same group with same direct reports. You should not share the same boss for at least two levels up IMO

3) Don’t chat on internal systems. Your boss is watching that shit

4) Dont hookup until you get on the same page. Once you hook up and realize you are both not looking for something serious, shit will go downhill

5) Dont tell people until you are seriously dating for >6 months. Co-Workers don’t need to get involved in your dating life

Anyways, I think it’s a natural place to meet a long term partner because the mere fact you both got jobs in banking probably increases likelihood of compatibility. Just be smart and no hook ups

I think if you and the coworker are the type looking for a serious relationship then I think it is worth the downside risk at the company for the chance to be with a lifetime companion.

People get new jobs all the time.  Keep it professional and discreet.

Usually not worth it in today's hypersensitive environment. At a place like work where the person is unavoidable things can get real dicey. If you can pull it off without making others skeptical then I suppose you can go for it but its all fun and games until you're in HR because she's caught sour grapes and just makes some shit up. Even if it doesnt get to that extreme the possibility of rumors flying becomes another thing. I just wouldn't want to deal with that nonsense around the office.

Done it before. There are many "it depends" but the simple answer is no. The risk is not worth the reward, and I don't so much mean career risk as I mean risk to your mental peace and the like. Good times are, of course, good, but bad times will come and it's nice to separate work from pleasure. Similar idea to don't mix family and business

Hell no unless he’s in a different division and we agree to not report each other. 

Don't shit where you eat. Not worth the risk.