Dating advice - about to hit 30 and don’t know what I’m looking for
So like many here I spent the best part of my 20s grinding it out pushing hard to achieve my career goals. Ended up going to two ivy's and had good jobs. I graduated with an MBA a while back and finally have the dream job locked in with realistic potential to earn big bucks.
While I was focusing on the aforementioned I did neglect dating and relationships as I always felt they were holding me back. Over the last 10 years I was only in 2 half serious relationships neither of which lasted more than 8 months and not that many dates if I'm honest.
What I did figure out over the last 10 years is what I don't want:
1. Don't want a smoker, that's a hard pass no matter what.
2. Don't want someone doing drugs even if occasionally.
3. I'm very health and fitness oriented and really need my partner to be the same. Not just to that she is "hot" because she works out a lot but because this is hugely important for me personally and having someone that doesn't believe in these values does not work.
4. Not looking for a 10/10. Honestly a 10/10 Instagram model is a massive headache. I'd much rather have a pretty 7-8 that a "hot" 10.
Now this is where the big dilemma comes in and why I'm seeking your advice. Personally I have invested huge resources to go to top tier schools and I have a very good career. I find this very attractive in women also. But can this actually work?
I always dreamt of having a girlfriend and future wife that went to a top tier school and had a great career. Always wanted to be that "power couple".However as I grow older I'm starting to think this isn't a good idea. While I find it hard to be attracted to a girl that is a social worker or school teacher no matter how hot she may be, is this the better option.
Can two ambitious individuals actually work together or will it be a massive clash? For instance if my partner landed a great job in a different city and for some reason I could not transfer out I'd be more than happy to do long distance and would want her to put her career before me. I would do the same if the situation was reversed hence the reason my previous relationships ended.So is it better to find an unambitious woman that will just follow you around or can it work when both partners are motivated?
I use bumble and hinge premium to save time on swiping and honestly finding girls that went to decent schools and have a good career is very hard.
Any advice appreciated
I'm kind of shocked tbh. You never dated girls in your schools? I know that there are many ivy league clubs in the city where you can mingle with others that went to an ivy league school. Harvard Club has pompous Wednesdays and Evercore nerd Thursdays.
You went to two Ivy League schools so you should be friends with at least a few girls from them. They should self select friends with similar prestigious backgrounds and you can ask them to set you up.
If you’re not friends with any girls from either of your Ivy League schools, you may want to work on that first.
Home keeping, cooking and cleaning is big for me too. For a little perspective, I enjoy good food, like to cook, and I also like to keep a clean living environment; additionally,. I've lived with roommates that are clean and not so clean. I strongly prefer those that are clean and really put the elbow work into cleaning stuff. The importance of homekeeping skills also has to do with their self-dependence.
Every man and woman has preferences for the people they like to date. Sometimes you know right of the bat, as you've listed above, and sometimes you learn from having experienced. Get out there and meet people to see what clicks with you. Take it easy.
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